what can you do when there is a no contact restrictions on your common law spouse once he's been charged by th

Question

my boyfriend hit me the other day with acorn on the cob ya that was the weapon and i called the police i don't know why but then i said i didn't want to charge him but they didand then i had to give a video statement they learned that he's hit me before and that there is actually one report at the hospital when i thought my jaw was dislocated but now we can't speak i'm living in his house and i want him here i often started the fights but don't get me wrong we shouldn't hit but he shouldn't have 4 charges laid upon him and not only should he take the blame and not be aloud to come home. Help me i know nothing about the way this works and my kids miss him even though he's not there father he was actually better than their real one
Lost without him Chantal in Cornwall ontario

Answer 1

I have almost been where you are. I say almost because I wasnt stupid enough to let it happen more than once! What the hell are you thinking!!! I left my childs father the day after he hit me and before that night we had a normal sort of relationship, when he hit me it was a shock to both of us that he lost control to the point of hitting me. BUT just because he was sorry and felt bad didnt mean I was going to stick around and risk it happening again and let my son grow up in a house where who knows when it could happen again!!! If not for your self, then for your kids - GET OUT OF THERE! You are not lost without him! Your kids will be lost without you if next time he puts you in hospital or ends up killing you!

Answer 2

Well Chantal, once you called the police, you started the snowball rolling down the mountain. Now, with the hospital report, you are going to have to recant your statement. But then remember that if he really hurts you, the police will no longer take you seriously

Answer 3

well if he is better than the other one, you need to really think about the type of men you are bringing around your kids, and the example you and them are sitting for them.

You don't need any man around that will assult you, and you most certainly need couseling for your behavior. But many abused women beleive they are the cause and don't understand they need help.

But yes, the police don't need you to press charges, the new law on domestic violence laws actually require the police to arrest the person doing the abuse even if the other person begs them not to

And you need to move on and find a real man who does not behave in these manners.

Answer 4

There is know women in this world that has to take any abuse from a boyfriend or a husband. I've been married for 11 year's and just yesterday i had to file a (PFA) on him. Just a month ago he was drinking and i droped him off at his mom's house and i tried to help him out of the car and our little girl age 8 was in the back seat and she seen what he had done to me, He smacked me in the face real hard and pushed my head into the winshild of my car. I think it's time for you to think about yourself and your children if you have any. Live your life and take care ( Pray to god for his guidance) It really work's.

Answer 5

I don't think right now you can do anything.

Do you have a daughter? Do you want her in a relationship later that involved her boyfriend/husband hitting her?

Do you have a son? Do you want him thinking that he's supposed to hit his girlfriend/wife?

That very well could happen. You two might not belong together...at the very least it sounds like you both need anger management classes.

Answer 6

What can you do?
1. get counselling together -
2. be patient with the police - they want to protect you. Many women who are victims of spousal violence refuse to recognize it, thinking it is basically "their" fault, and surely he won't do it again. It usually has a very bad ending if not faced.
3. Be very sure you do not fit in "2".

Answer 7

Stay away from that loser! No one has the right to hit anyone! If you stay with him it will only get worse because he will think you deserve to be hit, and you could be killed. Then what would happen to your children? Set a good example for your kids so they dont become abusers themselves!

Answer 8

Can you say...dysfunctional?! And you kids get to be witness to this crap? Get your sh*t together and offer your kids a stable home. Who cares about the guy! Get your priorities straight.