Should I try to help my neice? If so, how can I help her?

Question

She's sitting in jail right now awaiting her trial for getting drunk and trashing someone's car. Her ex-boyfriend put her up to it. She just got her visitation priviledges revoked because she and her cellmate got into a fight. Her father, in my opinion, is partly responsible for it, because all her life he's put her down and lowered her self-esteem. He's been in jail too. I feel bad for my sister, her mother, because she has to live with these idiots. And she refuses to leave him. If and when she gets out, should I offer to help her? She can't get a job now because she has a criminal record and I'm afraid she's going to be a burden on society, not to mention a menace to society. Would you help her out if she was your neice?

Answer 1

Your community likely has a community mental health clinic. If your niece is drinking as a form of self-medicating it is a matter of getting to the problem that is causing her to drink. Alcoholism is passed from generation to generation. Mental and emotional abuse is a common cause of problems for people that they have to deal with the rest of their lives. Sounds like she would benefit from professional help.

Answer 2

She will need a hand up, not a hand out.

Yes, you should help her. She will probably end up needing some therapy, and she will definitely need to make sure she can get to her parole meetings. Jobs are available for ex-cons; they're typically menial labor (gardening, construction, car washes, etc). She might be able to get some help from her parole officer once she is released on where to go to get a job.

You're right - she might be a burden on society if she can't get work; a menace however? Not likely. What she did wasn't considered a violent crime. She was young, stupid, made bad choices and dumb mistakes, but she wasn't violent. That will go a long way also in helping her to attain employment.

When all seems lost, that is when things usually turn around. It won't be easy, but it the situation isn't impossible either.

Good luck.

Answer 3

First thing you need to do, is stop blaming everyone else for her decision. Unless some put a gun to her head, she made the decision to drink and drive and to fight with her cellmate. I don't know many girls with high self-esteem these days and the best you could do for her is listen. I dont know how old this girl is, but if she's a teen, then she has plenty of time to rectify her wrongs, with counseling. If she is an adult, counseling should still be an option as well as education, the rest is up to her. She needs someone strong enough to love her not matter what she's done, in the past, and help guide her to her future. Good Luck

Answer 4

I think you should try to help. But you need to put a limit on how much you will take on. Don't let them walk all over you and take you for everything that you are, because you will be the one getting hurt.
I always live by this, I will only help someone who's willing to help themselves. If they aren't willing to accept and change then don't waste your time because they could bring you down with them.
You are such a great person for trying to help out people in need, just make sure to take care of yourself first.

Answer 5

It will be difficult but at least try. There might be programs for young troubled people her age where you live.Check it out. If it doesn't work out help & support your sister.

Don't excuse her (like 'her boyfriend put her up to it 'Or her father puts her down) she has to learn & take responsibility for her actions & her desicions (why was she drunk in the first place? ).

Answer 6

it style of appears like this baby has not had consistent barriers. You suggested that she is the most egocentric baby you have ever met. The irony of that remark is someplace she is attending to renowned the double wide-spread of sharing. for instance, you sister(her mom) tells her now to not devour goodies before dinner. mom eats 2 products of cake before dinner because mom needs cake. the youngster probable informed her mom, why can’t I easily have cake? the mum disregarded the question as “I’m the mum and that i’ll do as I please”. The daughter sees this habit and it symbolizes to her that what mom and pa (or the different grownup )say fairly has no meaning. So she starts off to attempt her theory about what mom and pa tell her to do. the subsequent time she sees what she needs she’s going to throw a in good structure because it receives her what she needs, to close her up or it proves her theory that mom and pa fairly aren’t in administration to that end causing her to take administration. You suggested that this baby pushes the relations’s buttons to the point the position she must be taken to a yet another room. And in basic terms then does she reply. You and your household prefer to party and agree on a thanks to always take care of this baby. If she comes over for your position and tells your daughter she will be in a position to’t play which includes her toys, then your niece can not play at the same time with your daughter’s toys. it fairly is truthful. enable your sister recognize the guidelines of your position. Don’t %. and chosen which guidelines to stick with because this baby is “letting” you recognize that she’s on to you. the most complicated children aren’t problematical because they’re dumb. They’re wise and they’re calling your bluff. This baby is wise adequate to entice close that saying one difficulty and doing yet another isn’t correct and he or she’s letting you recognize that. You suggested that your sister has yet another baby as well this one. be responsive to the way you take care of this difficulty with this baby. the more youthful one is letting her older sister make the blunders and could latest the relations with an entire different set of complications if this isn't dealt with in a well timed way. the foremost to correcting this difficulty is consistency. The extra you lay out certain consequences for her movements the a lot less likely she will be in a position to “try” you and your sister. she will be in a position to comprehend that you and her mom have administration of the difficulty. And this can ease her fears of “having to regulate” issues.

Answer 7

family is family no matter what and she obviously needs some guidance in her life and maybe your the one to do it do you think that she will listen to you tho and does she want help my guess is that she is sorry for what she has done i don't think you can change the judgment but you can be there for her and show her you care that's what she needs now if she cant get a job maybe she can further her education just a possibility hey your a top person yep i would help if she was my niece.

Answer 8

blood is tiker than water they say, she need more than just help she need time and she need experience, just give her one more chance, let see how she does, ther are many people out there who are a burden to societ so i say give her another chance after all she had help been the kind of person she have became so all you can do is give her time, every body changes no mater how bad they are they will change even in ther last breath or giaff they will.

Answer 9

This is a very complicated situation, here goes I would say yes help her but you have to help her to help herself. What I mean is if she doesn't want the help she will just drain you and suck all the good feelings you have out of you, but if you help her to help herself she will either be a better person or a worse loser. (no offense) She has to want the help!!!

Answer 10

I think i would someone always deserves a second chance. Give her hope and help her out right now she needs all the help she cant get. I hope everything works out for her. God Bless.