I'm not really sure what people mean when they say only-child-syndrome. I come from a big family, but my husband I are pretty happy with just having one child. (Although it's early days, our baby is 3 months old.) For those of you who have one child, or for those who are an only child, are there things we should look out for or do to help our son be a happy confident only-child?
2006-09-18 04:01:26 · 15 answers · asked by tish 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am an only child and I have only one child, He is 7. As a kid I don't think I minded being the only child. I had so many friends and it was easy for me to make friends. My son on the other hand, asks me to have another child so He can have a brother. He does have some minor difficulties making friends. He is just a bit shy. He still to this day has an imaginary friend. I think it's who you are, how you react to situations. Each person is different. I choose not to have another child so I can do more things that I wish to accomplish with MY Time. That may sound selfish to some , but I have some very large plans. I do believe that my son is a Great Kid. He is learning to mature in his own speed. He is amazingly creative. I think He could be a writer one day. Be who you want to be, stop and think it all out before you decide not to or to have more children. I think people have 2 or more because that is what they are taught. As an only child , I had no problem learning to share, in fact I went out looking for friends to share with! I get along with most everyone I meet. I think there are positive sides to being an only child too. You are able to learn more about yourself and who you are at a younger age. This did give me a step up in life. I think being an only child does teach you to get along with others more because you learn how to make friends quickly to have someone to play with. Definately , get your child in different programs with kids His age. When He gets older let him choose the activities, as long as they are good choices. If you are confident people and show him how to live right , He will turn out to be confident and happy. Best of luck , take care!
2006-09-18 04:51:36 · answer #1 · answered by LoveMyLife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only-child-syndrome doesn't, by any means, mean unhappy or less confident. A lot of children who don't have brothers or sisters to share with, sometimes have problems sharing with other people. A lot of only children get lots and lots of toys because they're the only ones the parents have to please. These are some of the reasons people say "only-child-sydrome".
But only children don't always end up selfish, greedy, and spoiled. My cousins had an only child for 5 years. He is the nicest boy to be around! He has the BEST manners than any other child I've seen. This has nothing to do with him being an only child, but EVERYTHING to do with the way his parents interact with him.
On holidays, the parents ask the entire family to treat Austin the same as they would treat the other kids. My aunts wanted to let Austin have a certain color of eggs to find durring Easter. But his parents said no. They think the whole idea is to race to get the most eggs. They also get down on his level whenever they are correcting him. They teach him apathy. And most importantly, they give him A LOT of interaction with other children.
Only-child-syndrome is pretty much just a joke. I'm sure you'll do a great job raising your son to be a good person, who's loving and sharring.
2006-09-18 05:15:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sera B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things. That is what the website said and it pretty much is right. Think about it, the middle child is not the first born and is not the baby anymore. Some children don't have a problem with it but some do.
2016-03-27 07:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is an only child - he is 4 years old. The main thing is to make sure your child is around plenty of other children his age. My child pretty much gets what he wants but he knows that I require respect and manners. Being an "only-child" does not necessary have to be defined as being a "spoiled-brat."
2006-09-18 04:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by gabbien 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
The main problem with being an only child is that you are the centre of attention from both parents for the entire time of growing up. As such it becomes easier for the child to drop into a pattern of always being the main priority and getting what they want, which isn't the best preparation for life. With brothers and sisters all children must learn to share what they have and learn that they won't always be the one who gets attention, and the value of looking after themselves. You can always impose limits on your child or allow them to interact with other children regularly in order to "simulate" having other siblings. However most children upon entering adulthood will soon get past these feelings and patterns of behaviour, so it's a temporary problem at best.
2006-09-18 04:05:17 · answer #5 · answered by Maxx Power 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I chose to only have one child and after 16 years, she's a pretty terrific kid. We are doting parents but have always made it a point to encourage and teach the characteristics that will serve her well as an adult. She is self-confident, values and maintains friendships and has learned to work to earn her achievements.
I think that one of the best things that we did early on was to use daycare on occasion for the social skills that she could only practice with other children. You sound like loving parents and I'm sure you will do just fine with your little one! :-)
2006-09-18 04:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by slwilson1966 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
actually studies have shown that only children often become better adults.... so congrats on your choice (plus lets face it - the world is over populated and we are already seeing warning signs of things getting worse if we continue to let our numbers increase)
make sure your child attends preschool so they learn how to interact with other kids and dont think the world revolves around them
most only children are more mature because they dont get pulled back into behaving like a baby when the second child comes along and they see how much attention babies get.....
just enjoy your kid.. I have a daughter and some ignorant people have told me I was selfish to only have one - but I was the oldest of 4 and HATED mom for having more kids.. I am disgusted by people who in this day and age have large families.. its best to have only one kid for sure... good luck and congrats
2006-09-18 04:20:00 · answer #7 · answered by CF_ 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Oh for the love of God.. Enjoy your son and dont worry about it right now!
You said he is only 3 months!
I am not only an only child myself, but we have one as well.
I will tr yot share some things about that with you.
I am an only child. I was not spoiled as the stereo type says.
I did want a sibling when I wasa bout 7-12 ,..then got over it I guess. I really do not have a good way to relate to my friends who have siblings or even my husbands relationship with his sister.
I did not want to HAVE an only child myself but it just worked out that way...
As a rule... and keep in mind each child is different, and enviroment is a HUGE factor in this
Only children tend to be leaders.
Only children tend to be further ahead thatn other children in verbal skills, and other areas . This can be because they are around Adults so much and they adapt to th at world or because they have the parents full attention etc.. or both
Only children CAN have issues adjusting to other children if they are not given plenty of social time with others starting as young as possible. Your son is old enough to begin some face to face baby time on his tummy with another baby same age... just make sure you know the baby and its healthy and not sick when they are together.
Only Children can also have issues sharing.. BUT again teach this from a young age and it wont be a problem
Only children can be a bit ego centric.. self centered... this is true and makes perfect sense as thier world tends to revolve around them... doting parents.. not having to hare time or attention with siblings and since they often tend to stand out and ralte to adults well others like teachers and other adults tend to relate to th em better than the other children.
Now this is not all bad... the thing is that the enviroment is important...
I was an only child who had friends in my home ALWAYS,.. I was taught to share and compassion for others by example and by demand.... as our daughter has been..
It was nice to be able to be alone and send my friends home when I wanted... My parents even let me take them on vacation sometimes... so I kind of had the best of both worlds to a point.
You will see there is a sterotype for every child,, oldest, youngest, middle only... You name it
Thing is... where as there may be some common traits . Each child is different and that enviroment is the real factor.
Socialize the child, teach him good values that mimic what you want from him and you will do fine...
And dont rule out another child..... maybe later...
Our daughter is now 12... for years we talked to her about having a sibling and SHE said NO she did not want one... Now at 12 she does... But We are 41 and frankly ... I am not sure I want to go there now....
Adopt maybe... who knows...
Soooooo
I wish you guys the best of luck..and really don't worry
If you love your son and spend time with him and surround him with loving nuturing people , teach him,,, you and he will do fine!
Its a learning process for all of you.
Relax,, I know everyone has advice....family, strangers you name it the advice is all over ...BU T you guys are the parents and you are MOM
You iknow your child,,, and you will get to know him better as time goes on... Listen to yourself,, that gut feeling....
Best wishes
Hope that helps
Wismom
2006-09-18 04:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by Wismom 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
in my experience, when people refer to only-child-syndrome they are talking about the child being spoiled and expecting things his/her way. also not being well equipped to share due to not having to share toys, or mom and dad's attention with a sibling. i plan on having just one child and i hope to be conscious of this. i know of many wonderful, well-adjusted people who are only-children.
2006-09-18 04:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
They often have issues with intimacy and sharing in adult relationships. It can be a detriment to their development of empathy, trust and reliance on others. They can also have attention issues and inflated self-importance, from having been the "prince" or "princess" of the home. Real life doesn't emulate their childhoods.
2006-09-18 04:09:17 · answer #10 · answered by georgia b 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋