You are 16-17 and your sister is 14. She has been blaming and yelling at you that she doesn’t have as much privacy as you did when you were 14. When you were 14, your parents signed her up to a afterschool homework program from 3-6. Therefore, you had the house to yourself for 3 hrs. Now she is 14 and don’t get the house to herself for 3 hrs and expect you to not be home from 3-6 so she can have the house to herself for 3-6. You refuse because it wasn’t your fault that she had to be in a afterschool program. She say “You are a unfair sister. If I had a little sister, I would give her privacy when she want it. I will be a very understanding big sister, unlike you.” You feel bad about it because she is your sister, you love her and don’t want her to get upset. You are a sister that love her the most, would do anything for her to be happy and want more than ever for her to say you are a fair and nice person. Would you leave the house from 3-6 just so that she would be happy?
2006-09-18 03:09:29 · 24 answers · asked by youngwoman 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The 14 year old want the house for 3 hours to herself because when you were her age, you had it for 3 hours.
2006-09-18 03:10:18 · update #1
Nope, don't leave the house! God only knows what she wants to do in the house alone! I would discuss this with your parents, and if worse comes to worse, play the big sister part and tell her to grow up and get used to it. The eldest child ALWAYS has to pave the way for the younger siblings, so do not feel bad!
2006-09-18 03:14:58 · answer #1 · answered by Funny Frankie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So what, life is unfair. Get used to it. Now I'm really not trying to be rude. I have a younger sister and I got to do some things that she didn't (and it went her way to some times). If she is 14 and wants the house to her self for 3hrs. I don't think she wants to sing in private, there is probably something else going on. So stay home and be with your sister. The more time you have together the better. You never know when you may never see each other again.
2006-09-18 03:19:03 · answer #2 · answered by laneybugbaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't leave the house at her request under any conditions. I don't think it is about privacy. I think the younger sister is a controller and just wants to play a little head game. What about familys that have lots of kids, say 5. How would she survive in that arena. Caving in on this request could open the door for more little games. I wouldn't do it. It is a tough world out there. Some day she will be in a workforce situation, what then.
2006-09-18 03:16:29 · answer #3 · answered by Robert D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
14 is a difficult age. Talking to her will be difficult..but something you need to do . Privacy is not always about just being alone in the house for 3 hours.
No, leaving the house would not be the right decision. It is wrong, and if you do it she will think she was right. Seems to me she knows how much you care about her and trying to expolit your feelings a lil bit.
Why does she wants to be alone in the house anyway?
I would say try to get close to her. In an indirect way..see what she likes, what would make her happy, do the lil things she likes without telling her, help her in any lil way you can whiteout her even noticing.
This is not only about leaving the house for 3 hours right now. If you do it she will abuse you emotionally for a long time.
2006-09-18 03:21:51 · answer #4 · answered by Portos 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't give her privacy every day, because she shouldn't get used to you doing everything she wants, but you could agree to leaving her alone in the house twice a week or every Tuesday or 3 times a month or whatever you find acceptable.
To the other posters here: Please don't get too suspicious. People do need time alone. I work from home and totally enjoy the hours when my family isn't at home. It's good to relax, read a book or to listen music as loud as I can, or doing whatever else without being constantly disturbed or interrupted by other people.
2006-09-18 03:28:56 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a source that is not so emotionally attached to all this. You must have a counseling center near your sister that can sit down and have a "head-leveling" conversation with her. She should not make any decision with bare emotions. If she chooses abortion, then you have to support her in that decision. It is going to be a tough one and she will need to know that someone will be there for her. She still can choose to keep the child and try to go on to college, all though it will be tough, but she will not be the first to do it and succeed. It has more to do with being tough enough to face everything that comes her way. She might choose adoption for her child, which is tough also, but she will know that someone can provide for her child something that she can not. Are you sure your parents would be as tough as you think they will be??? This might have been a ploy on their part to put the "fear of God" into you both so you wouldn't get pregnant, but they would still be there in case it did happen. They might surprise you, not all parents are ogres. First thing I would do is to get her to seek out counseling at a center that specializes in this type of situation. An unattached clear head is what is needed right now.
2016-03-27 07:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell her tough luck grow up. I doubt shes paying the bills, its not her house, its your families home!! No way would i say away from 3-6 thats stupid, its giving in to her unreasonable request. So what if u had it different to her, thats got nothing to do with u. Just makes me wonder what the real reason is why she doesnt want u around during that time?
2006-09-18 03:22:56 · answer #7 · answered by nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't worry too much if i were you. she's in that period, snotty teen, not that there's anything wrong with that, everyone goes through it. Don't let her have the house just cos you had it. try to find out why she really wants it. Give her solutions. If she wants to hang out with friends and you're always in the way, figure out how you can share, or if you have somehting planned tell her in advance so she can plan something on her own.
talk to her like an intelligent adult, she'll probably appreciate it and will be more willing to listen to reason.
2006-09-18 03:19:22 · answer #8 · answered by kpucine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be very concerned about why she wants her privacy so much that she wants you to leave. Sounds like she's up to something. She is just trying to guilt you for being the oldest. There is nothing you can do about it. If you let her get to you this time, she will continue to do so. With her behavior, I definitely would not let her be home alone daily as I would be questioning her motives. If you don't boss her around during that time, she must be up to something to be so annoyed.
2006-09-18 03:13:23 · answer #9 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its time to grow up. if you want privacy or time to yourself go do something by yourself. believe me i wish i had the mom my brother has now.totally dif.times are different and people are different. get over it and make your own life outside of tit for tat.and besides im sure theres things you get away with now that would of put your sister in the dog house back then
2006-09-18 03:14:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋