Hi new to this but here goes. Through me being wreckless i have managed to get a colleague of mine pregnant, trouble is she is married but according to her going through a messy separation. Our affair has been going on for some time now and I have developed feelings for this girl but its not the ideal situation obviously for her to be pregnant. She is unsure on what to do about the pregnancy. Your advice for me would be greatly appreciated.
2006-09-18 03:01:43 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Thanx for the responses. To clarify I know the child is mind and abortion has been discussed but I understand she ultimatley has the final say on the matter. I dont love her but do have feelings for her and will take responsibilty for my actions
2006-09-18 03:12:28 · update #1
I don't really know what advice to give you, this is a really hard dilemma, firstly you and your colleague need to sit down and have a serious discussion on what to do, and decide whether you want to be together or to go your separate ways, if you do want to stay together then it is decision time as to whether you are ready to start a family so soon into a relationship, however i think you need to step back and give your colleague time to think about what she really wants, whether she wants to still be with her partner or whether she wants to be with you or even whether she doesn't want to be with her partner but does not want to rush straight into a relationship with someone else, i know you have been having an affair for a while, but sometimes it is the thrill of the chase and the excitement of doing it on the sly that excites some people and when that excitement has gone things can go down the pan rapidly, you both need a little bit of time away from each other to establish what you really want out of life and whether you really want each other before you can really decide what is best for this unborn child.
2006-09-18 03:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by sugarbabe180 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though you too have got yourselves into a little situation seeing that she is still married, Whether seperated or not. The biggest part is you two need to sit down and figure what your going to do. A baby is a big responsibilty but its always easier with two parents. Wish you all the best of luck, if you all decide to keep it she needs to really work on a divorce so maybe you and her can have a fresh start for the baby.
2006-09-18 10:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by riri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a huge mess....
Really the decision lies within you two. You need to sit with her and ask what she wants, what are her thoughts? Then you need to express yours.
She's married...that's a big problem when it comes to divorcing...the fact that she's pregnant is going to go against her in court. You could however keep it quiet and have her speed up the process.
But another question arises...Is she in fact leaving this guy, they may be going through seperation, but is she 100% sure they're going to stay seperated? How does she still feel about him and where do her feelings lie with you? These are all things you need to discuss with her.
Also she could tell her husband and more than likely he will divorce her and it will go against her. Are you 100% sure this is your baby? Have they had sex recently? Make sure she's honesy about everything. This is a hard one to answer....you just need to sit with her and get everything out in the open and decide between the two of you whether or not you really want this kind of responsibility and committment between the two of you.
2006-09-18 10:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to reach a joint decision as to whether to continue the pregnancy......you both created this situation, you both need to decide what to do about it. However it is her body that will be bearing the baby and her life inevitably that will take the biggest changes. I think perhaps that gives her the power of veto.
But talk, Talk,TALK to each other.
2006-09-18 10:06:01 · answer #4 · answered by nlj1520 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation for everyone.
You have to decide what you will do:
ie are you offering to marry this girl,
are you offering to raise the kid, what are you willing to do?
are you offering to pay for an abortion?
is that what she wants?
she is probably looking for signs from you to decide what to do.
if you are not going to be there for her, as a life partner with this child, she might make a different decision than if you acted like you were going to be there for her to be with her and raise the child.
2006-09-18 10:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its not the ideal situation.but it is your situation and hers she needs to upfront with her husband and tell him,it will be traumatizing and alot of people will be hurt but thats what happens when you mess with a married woman.are you planning on staying with her and helping her raise the baby? do you love her? and the best one is does she really want to leave her husband? these are questions you both need to look into.last but not least there are other options out there.i dont condone them but if you feel like the situation is something you are bothh not ready for then maybe its something you should also look into.but please leave that decision to her.good luck.use protection.
2006-09-18 10:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you 2 made a baby....that baby cannot decide for it's self if it is going to live or die....so this child has no say in the matter....plus she is married...what yo both neeed to do if she is having a messy seperation is pack up...leave and raise that baby together.....i would not scarifice a life because of your wrecklessness...you ever heard about condoms?
2006-09-18 10:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is, that child had no choice in the matter, and cant decide whether it wants you as parents or not. Its stuck with the choices you made.
She can always put it up for adoption if you both feel you cant provide for it.
You made your bed, the both of you, I think you should take responcibility for it.
2006-09-18 10:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is difficult to respond to without knowing all the details, and it is also something that only you and the lady can answer. You will need to get a couple of days by yourselves and just spend time talking it through.
2006-09-18 10:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get ready to go on Jerry Springer or Maury Povich. Cause you've got yourself in a love triangle, chile.
You are NOT the father!
Or you need to prepare yourself to pay child support if the kid is yours.
CONGRATS?
2006-09-18 10:09:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋