How old should a child be before grounding them for days at a time?

Question

My husband grounded our 5 year old for 5 days because he got in trouble at school for talking and moving around. Was he right to do this?

I figured that was a bit much. I tried talking to him and explaining why school is important. I know he is only 5 and I don't expect him to be perfect. Its like my husband is oblivious to the minds of children though.

babs, I believe that if you dont disapline a child while they're young, they will grow up and only get worse. A 5 year old is not a baby. He is a child. I want my son to listen to his teacher and do as she says. I do not want him to have to sit still and quiet all day long but he needs to respect his teacher and be quiet and still when she asks him to. No one said any thing about medication either. I agree with you that medication is over used. My (mom's) origional way to get him to listen was to not let him climb a tree that is outside at his school on days that he had trouble at school. I let him climb the tree when he does good.

Answer 1

Hello

Well.... This is tough..

I guess first thing is is this a common thing at school for your son to get into trtrouble for moving around and talking?

I would want to know WHY he was doing that?

Do you know the whole story?

If it were me ,..I'd talk to him and ask his side first in a calm way, and then explain why its important he not do that. Tr yto put it into terms he can understand..

I do think 5 days is extreme. Frankly I would not even punish him for ths unless it is a repeateded behavior and was done out of defiance.

At 5 you need to look at why this stuff is going on and take preventive measures. Negative school experiences at a young age can set kids up for an entire school career of trouble.

Could he be bored... was he done with his work ? Or was he not done and just being naughty?

Either way , I think natural consequences work the best at this y oung age... punishments this young should teach if they can...

Not to say that sometimes kids are not j ust brats and you need to punish...

Each kid is different and will respond to things differently.. so you have to do what works well for YOUR child.

Its also very important that IF you do not agree with Dad's punishment ,..that you talk to him about it and do so OUT of the range of your sons ears.

its important that your son sees that you and DAD are a uniform team... he will spot a weakness and use it later trust me

DO not argue over discipline in front of him or where he can hear,
You need to back each other up.. and remember its not a power play between you two... you guys have the same goal, you are on the same side
You both want to raise a happy , well adjusted young man someday... work together

And don't be too hard on yourselves.... You are training too!! There is a learning curve!

Good Luck

Wismom

Answer 2

Absolutely not. I have a 5 year old at home and she sometimes gets in trouble when things do not go her way and she acts up. We usually have a "naughty place" in the house which is a corner in a wall and the most boring place for a kid of 5 years. We usually ask them to go stand there facing the wall for 15 mins and if she acts up while she is there then that goes up by 5 mins each time. We put a Timer on and until she hears that timer go off she has to stand there.

The other thing when they really misbehave is we take her fav toys and put it up at the Highest places in the house. She can see it but can't play with it until a fixed time. Adn the message goes that if she does that same thing again it will be for double that time. It works pretty good. Good luck.

Answer 3

I think 5 days is a bit too much. At that age they don't understand what they did wrong 5 days later. I say talk to him about what he did wrong at school and be done with it. I am sure if you found out about it, then the school already handled the problem. I wouldn't get too upset over talking and moving around, he is after all only 5 yrs. old. He is still learning too, keep that in mind.

Answer 4

I do not see where everyone thinks it is a good thing for our children to be so quite and still in school.children are children and need to act that way ....jeesh ...I think to ground your 5 year old for 5 days is a little much in my OPINION ....I would be scared if my child just sdat quite and still all day ...let them be babies while they can we live in a cruel world they will no right from wrong as they grow and learn. It is far to common for people to put there kids on meds the schools are even pushing it now. for example a friend of mine was just told by a teacher that her son needs to be put on meds because he is hyper....oh gosh he is three..people act like the world is going to end if a child talks out of turn or has a wiggle .....once again I think it is a little much.good luck

Answer 5

5 may be a little young to ground for so many days.. When they are 5 years old 1 day can feel like a month..
I say take away something he loves until he behaves at school that is more fesable for a young child.. And also reward him every time he does something good at school.. We as parents are very quick to critisize our children but we dont tell them Good Job when they do something good.

Answer 6

No. Five days is far too much for a five year old. Society doesn't even keep drunken drivers in jail for that long. To take away a simple toy or activity for one day or a few hours wouldv'e been sufficient. I know you are learning and it is hard to be a parent . Keep in mind that children are active....they were made that way. They are not adults and do not think like adults. They believe in Santa Claus. Fantasy and reality are hard for them to distinquish between . Let them be little.

Answer 7

In some small way yes somtimes dicipline needs to start early so that some ground rules need to be met.But for five days seem to be a little harsh.Next time maybe 2-3 days may work a little better but try your best to be a little firm he is only five..

Answer 8

I think at 5 years old 5 days is long. but its not too young to start grounding. start out small though like take away a favorite toy for a couple of days, until he is old enough to really understand.

Answer 9

That was way too much. A teenager on the other hand will get the message because 5 days will definitely cramp their style. 1 day is enough for a child that age, or maybe take a way something he really likes for 1 day but 5 days was way too drastic.

Answer 10

A 5 year old? That would be Kindergarten or Preschool.

5 days is excessive. If your husband keeps this up, when the kid is 8 years old and gets in trouble for not doing his homework, is Dad going to execute him?