I've been seeing this guy for a couple months now, I know how we all hate to read long questions so I'll try to keep it short. We had everything in common, I had feelings for him that I never had before for someone. We went to his dorm and I saw a note on the fridge that said "I love Chris" (that's his name) and it wasn't from me. Now I feel like trust is shot. He says it was a joke left from someone that goes there for his other roomate, and it happened while he was at class. He poured his feelings out to me that he wouldn't do anything to jeopordize what we have. I have trust problems, because of things that have happened in my past with other guys. Should I believe him and take a chance at trusting him or should I just call it quits?
2006-09-18 02:13:50 · 18 answers · asked by Goodbye 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just call it quits, he sounds like a loser.
2006-09-18 02:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Didn't Alanis already ask this question?
... though I never got the "salt on the bed" thing, but I digress...
2 choices: Trust him, or not. You've been burned previously. This guy IS NOT the guy that burned you previously. For that reason alone you should give him the benefit of the doubt.
Also, has he given you any reason to believe (besides the note, which could have been planted by a female friend that doesn't like the idea of you dating him (and you know there are women out there who are conniving enough to do that)) that he's cheating on you? Think really hard, and be honest with yourself; you were with a scumbag before so you should recognize the signs.
Ultimately, it will boil down to whether you're willing to trust him. If you can't, or you're too gun-shy and *won't*, save him the heartache of the constant groundless accusations and just leave him. Otherwise, let go of your past bad experience, kiss the dude like it's your first time making out, and hold on for dear life.
2006-09-18 09:25:01 · answer #2 · answered by kagetatewaki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance but tell him if you find out that he's lied to you or ever cheats on you it will be over. I can understand the whole trust issue, I've been there before and I've had trust issues with my guy because when I met him he was with someone else. As i said give him the chance coz he sounds as though he is sincere about you and his feelings towards you.
2006-09-18 09:18:36 · answer #3 · answered by Rachie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart I will tell you something that you already know. Almost always, when you found out for sure that your man was cheating on you, you had on several occassions prior to that the feeling that thats exactly what was going on, and you convinced yourself otherwise. If you feel like he is not being honest with you, and I also think that blame your roommate routine is stale... then he probably is. No need in getting your heart broken all over again. Move on.
2006-09-18 09:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by fareen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got to be kidding me! You have known him for TWO months and you are making an issue out of this!?
This isn't about him, it is about you.
First of all that is EXACTLY the kind of prank guys would pull on one another.
Second, you have only known him for TWO months, thats not enough time to get to know someone enough to have "feelings" (other than infatuation)
Third, until you learn to let go of the past and move forward, you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place! No guy should be REQUIRED to put up with your "trust issues" after knowing you for TWO months"
The minute this came up I would of sent you packing, because NO GIRL is worth this kind of trouble.
2006-09-18 09:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Obviously men always have excuses for their actions, they are dogs he can have you and have other 3 women too. If I were you I would completely stop talking to him and don't even explain yourself to him. You should be better than that, you should not let some college loser treat you like crap and have little notes on his fridge. Dont tell him anything and completely call it quits.
2006-09-18 09:17:46 · answer #6 · answered by Beautiful Me! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like him and he says he really likes you just give it a chance. You have no evidence that he is doing anything wrong....other than a little post it note...he could be telling the truth. Why don't you explain about your issiues and some past relationship and go from there.
2006-09-18 09:16:54 · answer #7 · answered by rhodes727 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just for fun, give this guy a chance! Don't let other guys b4 him ruin what could very well be the best thing that ever happened to you! and don't let your mistrust of others play any roll in the relationship either!!
Go with your heart and see what happens
2006-09-18 09:16:38 · answer #8 · answered by koleebear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look this guy is playing you like a game. Really if you believe he has not seen another female, well I have some land to sell you in Afghanistan. This guy is a player, and he will play you as long as you let him. Let him go and move on. You will not even regret this, probably it will cause you less strife and drama in your life.
2006-09-18 09:19:58 · answer #9 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really love him u should trust him cos confrontation with ur partner can spoil a otherwise good relationship. meanwhile take time to know more about him, a romantic boyfriend and a responsible husband is totally not equatable. so from there give urself more time to think and reflect.
2006-09-18 09:42:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, thanks for replying to my question.
As for your situation... it happened with my ex (the one I mentioned on my question) but not in his dorm room but on myspace. Some girl send him some sexy comment and I got really upset because it something I would've left for him.
Anyway since you have trust problems to start out with, the easy way out is to let him go and move on. But it seems to me you do care about him. So I will have to say, if you're going to continue with this relationship, proceed but with caution. See if he slips up again and if he does, kick him to the curb.
2006-09-18 10:16:31 · answer #11 · answered by Bibi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋