At times. Example: This may be cultural (?). People from Mexico & western Africa tend to stare intrusively at strangers. It makes me uncomfy. Like when I'm walking into my apt. & I glance around. People (always of other cultures) are staring at me like they are watching television! Unflinching stares that last for several minutes. This occurs in grocery stores, malls, etc. I find it offensive. It makes me want to go OFF. I've noticed they sometimes do it to each other also yet, I'm usually to busy to see how most immigrants respond to being on the receiving end of this. Once I saw a black American say to a West African "WTF do you want?! Stop staring at me dumbazz!" LOL the WA person looked sheepish and stopped. Maybe they aren't even aware they're doing it? Maybe it’s the price we pay for shabby immigration law/immigrants who come here with no interest in our culture or in any kind of assimilation. How would you handle this uncomfortable situation, confront, ignore or something else?
2006-09-18 01:38:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Reallyfed...Thanks for your input but let me be clear here...where you are coming from is NOT where I'm coming from. I'm not here to do the "Oh I'm stunning white woman and all the Hispanics want me" I'm beyond that crap. As I said I've observed them doing it to each other also on occasion. I've observed them doing it to black Americans. And while I'll admit that it's mostly the males doing it to females, I'm not on the page that you are on. With this "all Hispanic men want my beautiful white self" kick. That's not where I'm coming from.
2006-09-18 01:50:50 · update #1
Thunder2...Thanks for your feedback. Now, send me the $$$ to "just move" and I'll gladly do so. I mean it's a known fact that neighborhoods/apt complexes that cater to people of color and immigrants tend to be much cheaper and more reasonably priced. I have very limited funds. Anyway, white America has been engaging in white flight for the last 30 years first trying to escape black Americans now trying to escape immigrants. There's got to be another way. Can't you come with something more original than classic white flight to the burbs?!
2006-09-18 01:56:31 · update #2
worldneverchanges thanks for your feedback however I disagree with you that "we" (meaning Americans?) "tend to stare at foreigners". This country is so inundated with people from other countries that if we stared at every one of them we would never be able to go to work, school, or the bathroom. Therefore I disagree with your comment about that UNLESS you live in one of these really super lily white areas of the USA like Kansas or a potato farm in Idaho.
2006-09-18 02:05:36 · update #3
Sounds just like my neighborhood. I am a white woman living in an all hispanic neighborhood. The men stare at me and harass me when I walk down the street. They all live like they are in central america. The children stare at me, it is apparant that their parents never taught them that it is rude to stare. All the notes from the apartment office are in spanish which is descriminating against me because I have to call the office to find out what they are about. If I was an immigrant I guess I would file a lawsuit, but as a civilized person I will not stoop to the immigrants level of intelligence. Believe me I experience what you experience every day too. I try to block them out and stick to my own except of course I can't walk down the street after dark because of the high level of crime these people commit
2006-09-18 01:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by reallyfedup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a (sort of) similar situation. My apartment complex is a pretty good mix of different types of people, but we do have a rather large number of hispanics living there. WITHOUT FAIL, every time we walk our kids in the stroller or drive, if a hispanic person drives by, they crane their necks around to stare at us almost to the point of running into the curb. I don't know if they do this to everyone or what, but it is pretty annoying. My husband, kids and I are all "normal" looking people, and we drive an average car (nothing flashy or weird that would attract that kind of attention), so I don't know why they do this. It's only the hispanics who do this. Anyone else does as they should while driving--keep their eyes on the road!
Lately, I've taken to staring right back at them--HARD. I don't smile either.
2006-09-18 02:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. It might be a cultural difference. In a neighborhood like yours, where there seems to be a different dominant culture than the one you want, there's no reason for people to follow the norms you expect, nor does it seem likely that they even know about them. It is definitely true that the amount of eye contact that people give at different times varies widely among cultures. After all, it's just a behavior. How you react to the behavior is based on culture.
It also might not be a cultural thing, either. It might just be that people are curious about the neighbors.
If it really makes you feel uncomfortable, handle it like you would (hopefully) handle any conflict between neighbors: with kindness, empathy, and discretion. "It makes me feel uncomfortable when you look at me like that. In the place where I grew up, people didn't look at others for long periods of time. I would really appreciate it if you didn't look at me for a more than a few seconds as I walk down the street."
I'm curious about why you seem to think "assimilation" should be so desirable to them.
2006-09-19 06:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people have simply nothing else to do and maybe you really are of their type! Try to simply smile back. Some people will shy away while others could smile too. Just a little smile can put sunshine in everyone lives. At least that's what all the .pps I receive says! ;-) If you don't feel like smiling you can just continue your way.
2006-09-18 02:13:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theodor Roosevelt said that the US should not be a polyglot ( multi lingual) flop house for foreigners. Congessman Solomon Ortiz (D) TX and other "Hispanic" and white Democrats should have noted this before they sold US out for Mexican votes.
2006-09-19 11:45:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me guess, you live in North Side Fort Worth? Why not ask Jose under the bridge why this is that they cannot keep from staring at other people? he may have just the answer you need.... O wait I forgot, you have already assumed that none of them speak English. Nevermind
2006-09-18 02:15:33 · answer #6 · answered by Sandra S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say with a smile and a soft voice. "In America, it is rude to stare." If they can't understand you, perhaps they will ask a friend who will translate and you will have been a part of their assimilation process. Or, you could learn how to say it in Spanish and a common African dialect.
2006-09-18 01:48:46 · answer #7 · answered by mrscmmckim 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In many countries people stare at you. It is not meant to be offensive. The funny thing is, I have noticed that we tend to stare at foreigners too. Maybe we don't realize it.
2006-09-18 01:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by worldneverchanges 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you and reallyfed-up are paying the price of being poor. Can't you both move up to a higher bracket neighbourhood, more upmarket?
2006-09-18 01:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move to Britian !!! However you will have to put up with Kurds / Poles / & other dross of the world who come here for our benefits.
2006-09-18 01:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by animpalways 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋