Need some ideas plz no rude answers ty?

Question

my son is six years old .We are a christain family and have worked very hard with our son.Our son has these outrages to where he hits me hurts him self and our members of the family.We love him dearly we are also working with the school.He is adhd .This morning he got very upset allb/c he had to wear these jeans.I feel like I am at my wits end.We have a little girl she is 5 she does not act like this.Need some good ideas to try with him or a websit so I can maybe I can read up on I am an open minded person .He does good in school. He just does not know how to take the disapline at all sometimes..( time out ) .But i can't have him to be hit ,spiting,and kicking me . If you need more info.Just ask and I can tell you .Thank you if you can help.plz no rude answers I don't have time for that.God Bless.

Would like an good web site if you know any pls.share.Thank you

yes I have spanked and taken things away

yes he was tested by professionals, no we do not let him eat sgur food.No he is not on meds yet .he does this when he is not getting his way.

this is to mom i am sorry but i realy don't not agree with what you say.He is very loved by me and his dad ( my husband )

ars32 ,i have done alot of hard work.You don't know do you live in this HOUSE .you are so rude .If you wanted to know what i have done you should have IM me and i would have told you but other then that you know nothing what I have done i realy don't think you have kids.

Answer 1

It is so great that you are working with the school! I have taught 3-6 year olds for over 12 years and often have parents resist working with me. Over the years I have had many ADHD students. The techniques I use to discipline them are the same I would use for any child, they just take a little more time. They also need a consistent schedule. They need a snack at the same time, to go outside at a given time, circle time at the same time. I notice that a disruption in their schedule greatly effects children with ADHD. So do your best to keep a consistent schedule.

Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your son misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If he makes a mess, he cleans it. If he breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If he damages something in the home, he does things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the discipline fit the crime.

When he hurts you tell him “I don’t like when you hit me. I do not want to be near you if you are going to hurt me.” Put him in an area away from you (his room, the couch). Tell him “When you are ready to be gentle then we can be together.” This is not a time out because you are not giving him a time limit (you controlling him). He returns when he's ready to control himself. Time outs are a punishment. They only cause the child to feel resentment and anger. You may have to take him back to the spot a few times before he gets the message. Thank him when he is calm. Keep it up! This technique works great for many misbehaviors.

Empathize with him when he is calm. "You must be really (angry, upset, hurt, mad, frustrated..). What can we do about that?" This will help him to better express his feelings. Empathize with him when he is hurting himself. "Ouch. That must hurt! I'm worried you may get really hurt doing that." Gently help him to stop.

Notice him when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture! You did that by yourself!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help him to feel powerful in a positive way.

Limit television, video games, and computer time. Children with ADHD are greatly effected by these.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. Pick you battles! You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Here are some of my favorite web sites
This link has some great articles. Check out some in the Problem solving parent and Child behavior http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/page2.aspx
http://www.alfiekohn.org/articles.htm#nu...
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.ht...
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/adhd.cfm#simple
http://askdrsears.com/

Answer 2

All Children are unique and different and need love in a different way. I can so relate to the challenge you're facing right now, there has been several things above that I agree with, something else that might be good is an all natural supplement (there's several out there to choose from) if you'd like I can tell you the one that helped my son, but I don't want to do any kind of sales on here. Just let me know if you want to try another option. Whatever you do don't put him on drugs (ie ritalin, concerta....) it will do more damage in the long run. Be Blessed :-D

Answer 3

My son is now 20 and had displayed all that your son is ging through now when he talks to me he said at that time he did it for the attention.( he grew it out) My present husband daughter is now doing the same thing. She doesn't live with us but when she come over she'll slap bite and throw things in a violent manner. I'll watch her out of the corner of my eyes and when she realizes she's being ignored she'll throw or swing stuff at you. Seizing her missiles only angers her more. I then ignore her screams and when she gets frustrated enough (and tired of crying) she ask for other stuff. I'd then take the opportunity to tell her she was rude and as such I wouldn't be giving her anything (using the tone our mom used when she says you're not going outside until you finished eating) most times it works and like my son she'll probably grow it out, as long as each time it happens, you let the child knows that it it is not cute and you won't tolerate such behavior. Now when she attempts to throw things, i just give her the "look" and the missile ends up on the ground. they are smart, they will measure to see how far they can go with you. He probably showing jealousy too as my son's action started after my daughter was born. My husband child is probably displaying the same as I'm the first woman she has seen living in her dad's new house, but strong discipline and lots of love will defintely help.

Answer 4

If you have never heard of a discipline program called 1 2 3 Magic I recommend you check it out, they cover pretty much everything and theres no physical punishments required.
I have 4 kids and my first 2 were 6 and 8 when we started using it (and were rather willful, I felt like I was spending most of my day standing over them to get them to do thier chores and not getting much else done) after using the program I was actually surprised at how well it worked (I admit I was VERY skeptical) we use it in conjunction with a computer program called "My Reward Board" so they can earn rewards for good behaviour as well (reinforce the good to help eliminate the bad) My oldest is now 10 and though he has ADHD we no longer have daily fights with him and he is no longer on medication.... my daughter (now 8) still has an "attitude" but its limited to her stomping off in a huff IF I get to 3 and she gets timed out and points removed from the board.
In the meantime while you are getting them used to a new disipline program.... when they start to hit or kick you pick them up (gently but with purpose, dont let him think theres "wiggle room" with you) facing away from you so that they cannot gain as much access to you to harm you and carry them directly to their room. Place them in their room and let them cool off there. When they are done having their fit then go in and say "If you are in a better mood now and will not hit then you may come out." If they start to tear apart their room during these sessions you may have to strip their room of everything but their bed and get used to remaking the bed. I had a friend whose child had major anger issues (mother and son had been abused by the father and this was during their recovery) it took them alot of time and persistance and it wasnt an easy road but they got through it and she uses the same discipline program as I do now (but she doesnt have the reward board... they just do chore charts).
You might also look into getting the child into counseling for anger management, it will help if you are working in conjunction with a trained professional. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I am a spiritual mother of a son thats 3 and went through something like this. I even ended up with gamekeeper's thumb because he pulled it back till it popped.

You can't be soft with this. If you let it continue, he will think what he is doing is correct behavior, you have to be firm. This advice came from my pediatrician, so I trust it, and it may not be the right thing for your son.

My son's doctor's daughter was a biter. She bit him untill he bled and he bit her right back. She never bit him again. My own technique about the hitting, tell him how you feel. Children like to please their parents. I tell my son I'm getting angry, sad, whatever, and he asks why and I tell him exactly why. He thinks about this for a second, then he tries to "make Mommy happy again". It took a few months, but he doesn't try to hurt me again.

If he's ADHD, talk to his therapist, he/she may have some ideas to keep him in line. Try ParentCenter:

http://www.parentcenter.com

You can get advice on almost any parenting problem. It's extremely helpful to me with my dicipline problems, since I don't like spanking or yelling. Good luck.

Answer 6

Firstly, make sure he was properly diagnosed with adhd - not just that someone thought he might have it. He must be properly diagnosed by professionals, undergoing brain scan, chemical analysis, etc.. You do not say if he is on meds. These will determine the course of what you can do - such as having him see an educational psychologist for ideas at school and at home, how you can help him better. You need to use positive reinforcement for him - find out what his "buttons" are, instead of negative reinforcement. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Your child sounds very much like my niece. My sister took her to somany doctors and no one could help her until she finally got the right psychaetrist at age 12. She is now 14 and much much better now that she has been taking antidpressants for one year. She has friends now, she has always done well in school but now my sister does not need to sit down and study with her, she does it on her own and is in the honors roll. She still is a difficult child sometimes but the new doctor has shown her how to control herself much better.
If the doctor you have now is not helping, keep searching. Dont give up. And if the doc gives you advice that you know its not working fo ryour child, dont be afraid to speak up and change the method. My son is 2 and for a month he bangged his head on the wall whenever he did not ge this way. The pediatrician told me to ignore him, even when he was bleeding from his head, he had bruises and bumps!! I refused to. I tried my own tatctic, to immediately grab him and strap him to his "timeout chair" for 3 full minutes. After 2 weeks he stopped the head banging. But if I had listened to the pediatrician, maybe I would be in jail now for false child abuse accusations. ( My son's forehead looked really banged up for a while.) My point being, you have to be your child's advocate and if something is not working, I dont care if the President told you is the best thing for him, listen to your inner voice, and go with the sensible thing. Pray for guidance, and you will find the way. good luck.

Answer 8

I agree with maybe enrolling him in some kind of martial arts program. They are really good at teaching discipline and it will allow him to get out any excess aggression or energy. I also know a girl that has her child going to a councilor where they have play sessions. They found out that the child had excess energy a huge need to express herself. So, they let her do her thing and they observe her in the mean time. It's been doing wonders. And there has been no medications. The meds scare me. I have a nephew that was medicated and it didn't work. At age 9 my nephew was cuffed and taken to their local police dept. because he attacked his teacher. And the story goes on with him. But they later found out that the meds were messing with his heart. Anyway, just pray for God to give strength. Good luck to you and your family. Even though I'm sure you do this anyway. Just drop what you are doing now and go hug him and tell him that you love him no matter what and that you are there for him.

Answer 9

Yes, it is rather difficult to manage temper tantrums.
1.Has he been properly diagnosed to have ADHD?If he is doing well at school it is unlikly. ADHD students don't do well at school generally.
2.Is he simply jealous and yearning for attention?Show him you love him when he is in a good mood. He is only 6,and still needs some petting from you.
3.Praise his achivements and good behaviour Especially when praising the younger one.
4. Don't get worked up for small issues. If he wants to wear that jeans ,let him. If it is unsuitable or very dirty, tell him so and addthat you don't mind if he doesn't!(all in a calm voice). He will come around. Let him feel in charge .

Love him LOVE HIM alot.
Try disscussing the issue after things have calmed down a bit.
Never refer to it again after everything has been settled. Never say, he is always like that, what can you expect etc.
Never talk about his bad behaviour in his hearing.
All the best.
But first have his diagnosis of ADHD confirmed by a good pediatric psychiatrist. Itis very difficult to gauge hyperactivity in one sitting. Even if he is, these suggestions will help.
Whatever it is, love your child. He deserves it

Answer 10

When children have temper tantrums it is because they do not know the words to express what is wrong at the moment. When they get violent (hitting, kicking) they just do not know how to sit down and talk about what is wrong. I would try helping him with the words to express what is wrong and also work on getting him to sit down and discuss what is wrong. You could come up with a reward system for:(1) when he tries to express what is wrong in words and (2) when he sits down and tries to talk about what is wrong instead of hitting and kicking. Keep a chart that he can see (visualize) and keep up with when he gets a reward and when he does not. You could also tell him if he gets all rewards in one week you will do something special with him, like go to the zoo or go out for pizza. Consistency is the biggest key here. You can't work on this one day and give up the next. Also remember that ADHD kids forget easily, so you may have to go over the rewards system day after day. Good luck!