Have I done the right thing?

Question

Ive met this guy who I fancy. I have known him for a while.he used to work in the same company as my ex. Hes been chasing me for over a year. ive been back to his place twice after nites out on the town with my mates. we only meet up when we are in town on the same nite. we have only kissed despite him wanting to take things further. I didnt take things further cause I wanted to make sure that he did actually like me and wasnt using me for sex. i told him how felt about him and he said he felt the same. i also gave him my reasons for not wanting to take things further. he said i was being silly but respected my decision. since this nite, hes never been around to meet up. hes always away meeting up with friends however, his behaviour was like this before we met. hes really outgoing. have i now ruined things coz i didnt sleep with him or am i just being paranoid?i have tried to arrange a date but he says he doesnt like to make arrangements as he doesnt know whats going to "come up".

Answer 1

He was hoping for more & waited to try again then on that second night you made it pretty clear that it was'nt going to be easy to jump into bed with you so well done! But this guy may only want one nite stands as & when he wants to so move on and find another guy.

Answer 2

This guy sounds like an ****. If you had slept with him what makes you think things would be any different? The fact that you didn't sleep with him shows you obviously liked him enough to want to see him again and make something of it. He obviously doesn't feel the same if he did he would not be avoiding you.

you can argue that if he was outgoing an spent alot of time with his friends his reasons might genuine but that is no reason not to arrange to meet up. You don't have to make definite decision until an hour before you do what your doing.

In the meantime get on with your own thing or your going to look needy!

Answer 3

He sounsd like a first class pr*k to me! Good for you for holding your ground it can be hard to resist sometimes, especially with someone you have fancied for ages! But the fact he said your were being silly for not sleeping with him sounds liek he doesnt respect you very much. I hate to say it but from what yuo say here it sounds like although he likes you it is more that he wants to sleep with you than have any sort of relationship or he would have arranged a date with you by now, saying he doesnt know whats going to come up is an insult i.e whether something better will turn up or an easy lay etc. If he liked you enough he would wait for you to be ready to sleep with him, sounds more like he thinks of you as a booty call, sorry ! I think you could do much better than that i'm sure!

Answer 4

You may have missed your chances there but ya still have ya dignity. But then again maybe he just has a busy life,and the fact is if you have of had sex with him how would you of felt if he is acting the way he is now,or generally living his life?If ya concerned now,how concerned would you of been after you had sex.You went with your instincts not to have sex with him and I think you made the right choice. He sounds like a bit of a player,chances are he not only been chasing you and if you can prove he hasn`t been after other women then I say hang in there. All good things come to those who wait.

Answer 5

Hi,
This is a hard one. My first thought was that he just wanted sex, as he obviously doesn't seem to want to put any effort into convincing you that he means what he says. The second thought was that you might have insulted him, or that he might feel that after chasing you for a year, he has put in enough effort. But, really, if you were so reluctant about starting something with him, maybe this says more about how you feel, than about him?

Answer 6

I think you did the right thing.
I'm not going to say that this guy was just trying to get sex... I suspect that might be the case but I can't be sure.
What I WILL say, though, is that you should not worry about whether or not you ruined it. If you did, then he was only looking for sex. If he is honestly interested in you for something more, then his attitude shouldn't have changed any.
Personally, I think the excuse about not making arrangements is weak.. but as I'm guessing that you didn't try to make arrangements previous to the night you refer to, and therefore he might be telling the truth about that.

Answer 7

Wanna know what i think? he's being silly, he's playing THE GAME, where he is always not available, he will irritate u to bits, until you INSIST on having sex with him, he is doing this to get you back for refusing. If he liked you for what u are, and not just for sex. He would have been willing to wait.
Try and ignore him. I know this sounds impossible for you, but try it. You are worth so much more then the way he is treating you.

Answer 8

yes, you did the right thing, at first you may think it's your fault that's why he changed, but think rationally and you'll start to realize that he's just copying what you felt for him, and when he realized that he can't get what he wanted from you, he just showed his true colors girl! think, if he is really sincere, and feels something for you, even if he respects your decision, he should still be consistent in his actions, words. it's great that you discovered the real person in him, not giving up anything and not doing something you'll regret at the end. you go girl!

Answer 9

You did the right thing.If a guy is different after you make it clear that you want to hold off on hitting the sack then it is obvious that he just wanted sex. If a guy still is interested then he will just wait till you are ready and sure.

Answer 10

You made the right choice. Sounds like he was just trying to get a piece and when you didn't, he gave up and moved on. If he really liked you, then he'd meet up with you for a date or something. Don't waste your time on him. He'll only use you.