I am a guy, in love with another. I told him, I love him and so did he. He has confessed that he is a flake, but I so want to change him. Anyone got any ideas? I have to do this.
2006-09-18 00:06:40 · 12 answers · asked by Vab S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Bottom line, .....um....so to speak.....is that you can never, ever "change" another person. The only person who can change someone is themself. You must love him for what he is, not what he "could be." If you dedicate your love to what he would be like when he "changed" then you are merely setting yourself up for a whole lotta heartache. Recipe for disaster, my friend, recipe for disaster. This is especially true in your case where he has "confessed he is a flake" which tells me that he knows his virtues and vices and is comfortable enough with them to reveal them upfront to you. He does so to make sure there are no surprises. You have to take him as he is or don't take him at all.
2006-09-18 00:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you that if your first mission is to change a major characteristic of this man, you are off to a bad start. When you're in love with someone AND you want to spend yoru life with them......or at least be in a real relationship......you HAVE to accept their flaws and YOU have to figure out creative ways to LIVE with those things. Can you make it "easier" for you and for him? Sure.......without changing him. Perhaps practicing in your regular routine would help......if he's disorganized with his papers, help him get organized. If he's forgetful of time and late alot, then call him to remind him or get him a couple new watches. If he's just misunderstanding directions easily, be more clear when you speak and communicate with him, giving extra details.
these are just examples, I don't know his exact weak areas. You have to love him being flaky......bottom line. But there are ways to make it easier.
2006-09-18 00:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not about changing anybody , you don't put him on a leach or change him in any way , if you don't love the way he is , you don't love him at all , you'll just be setting yourself up for heart break and disappointment , love people the way they are...
2006-09-18 00:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by inacents 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you change him then he will not be the same person you fell in love with and if that is what you are looking for you might as well get yourself a MALE-order-bride!! Sorry couldnt resist.
2006-09-18 00:12:19 · answer #4 · answered by dgrainger77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? NEVER try to change anyone. The key to any relationship is FLEXIBILITY. Trying to change someone is the best way to lose someone.
2006-09-18 00:09:24 · answer #5 · answered by karen j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your mind is the only way.
2006-09-18 00:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by lovingneighbour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u dont love him if u want to change him
thats wrong
2006-09-18 00:16:41 · answer #7 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing can be changed.you can change your person as u like and u cant you life just for someone.this is life:either everything is working perfectly or it doesn't
2006-09-18 00:14:25 · answer #8 · answered by florinutza_17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nobody should try and change someone else, you wouldnt like him to try and change you.
2006-09-18 00:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by fnqbigboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to change his diaper?
2006-09-18 00:12:08 · answer #10 · answered by Putt 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋