do you re kids fight?

Question

my sons are 9 and 8 only 11 mths apart and they never stop fighting. physically as well as arguing why? i am so fed up with it , how do i stop it without hitting them?

Answer 1

you are so lucky to only have to think about two kids fighting.

I have four kids fighting everyday.

Sometimes, when I am so fed up, I just watch them yell at each other. When somebody hits someone, then I start to interfere.

I guess the main reason of this scenario is that all kids want complete attention. And with kids as many as four, it is pretty difficult to give the attention to just one, coz often times the attention is always divided.

Imagine me having to listen to three kids at the same time who all wanted to talk about their day at school. I only have two ears, so I only stare at the third one without really understanding any of them.

Well, they will soon grow up, and when they do, I will miss those baby cries and fights.

Answer 2

Yes my kids fight all the time, so I know exactly how you feel. I have learnt though I can not stop them from doing this and they get on my nerves also, try not to get to the point that you want to hit them as most times it hurts you more than them.

Try taking something that they treasure away from them (like TV, favourite toy) or you could put them in the corner for a while.

I know it seems easy to say this, but it does not always work.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Have they got seperate bedrooms? If so, send them to their rooms at the first sign of an argument. That works for me.
Also, I make them pay "compensation". There's not much physical fighting in my house but the one who hits, has to give the other whatever he wants. That really sucks!
My daghters get pocket money. If they're rude, cheeky or misbehave, I deduct £5 (Yes, harsh, but I have on the whole, very well behaved kids!) from their monthly pocket money.
Hope this helps. You've got to be cleverer than the little so and so's! Good luck.

Answer 4

My kids argue a lot and I argued a lot with my brother.

Its just normal.

I sort it out by keeping them busy. Give them something to do. Take them out if you can. Else, take away the game/computer/toy they use most.

My kids are 4, 6 & 7. I take them to the sea front for a walk, to the park to ride their bikes, even going to a shop that interests them (the local aquarium shop for my two boys). They have no computers on school nights and very little TV (through their choice). I love playing games with them. I know they will grow up fast and soon my company will not be cool enough. :p

Answer 5

hi there...i have the same problem with my 3 sons aged 13..11 and 9, they are constantly at it....what we have started to do is take away there pocket money and things like the playstation , no tv and so on, its actually slowly but surely startung to work...give it a go! hope it works for you....oh and also dont allow them to play out untill they can stop this.

Answer 6

Okay, since you didnt do any preventative measures early on in their development, relationship. Youre gonna have to go back to basics: Referee all activities, guide and discuss. Get some books with helpful tips on behavior and solutions as well. Dont allow a problem to escalate...nip it before it becomes a headbanging, toy throwing, shouting match.
Give yourself a good year.....to watch, teach and guide your sons into a loving, kind, praise each other relationship. It took them at least
7-8yrs to become problematic...it's not going to happen overnight ma. Constant stepping in, meaning...sitting there watching them interact as if they were toddlers....like you see signs of a pending fight and step in to discuss what could he do to make the situation better...and what could the other do to make it better... give your own suggestions and allow them to come up with their own....then discuss it with kindness and humor. Get involved and show our own behavior modification and growth out of love, affection, foresight, mediation and fairness.
My sons love each other, always praise each other, help each other with homework, say thank you and your welcome, etc. They argue and tease occassionally, but theyve become aware of it, halt it before it escalates and theyve learned to settle their disputes amicably.
Before your sons meet up with puberty and hormones get out of control...make them aware of the changes to come, remind them. Prepare discuss things that you think might be a fight down the road. Be aware, be prepared for future events. You have to be involved mom.

Answer 7

Get them to be friends by introducing them the team sports and activities. Take them to sporting events and encourage them to support mutual teams. So they have more in common. Common goals will bring them together and the fighting will be minimised. Get them away from computer games especially single player ones.

Answer 8

my boys are 9 and 7
i'm convinced that when they fight it is usually set off by some kind of jealousy

they can play together for hours, without an an gry word being said, and then suddenly something sets them off

don't worry about it, it's normal

Answer 9

In this type of case Lay down rules with punishments in advance and then stick to them, no quater given. (1st offence sit in silence for 5 minutes ,2nd offence 10 minutes,then no tv,ps2 on a assending scale for each offence,Once they know you mean it they will come round.They are probably trying to find their place in the pecking order, but don't forget your at the top of it.

Answer 10

well its like this if they weren't fighting there would be something wrong they'll grow out of it when they are about 18 or so. if they get very bad just strip their rooms of all their stuff and my god does that work its so annoying being in your bed room with nothing to do. works a treat.