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is suicide a cowards way out..i ask cos a mate of mine has just suceeded,he was, unknown to his family and friends,apparently going through finance,and work hell,this he believed it was destroying his life,which made him self destruct(his words not mine) he tried to fit in with life but felt he kept getting it wrong.he doted on/loved his son,and his wife had just told him she wanted to get a divorce,he was on anti depressants ,but had stopped taking them for fear of becoming addicted to them but the pressure apparently got too much. so the question is is it a cowards way out or because he suceeded was he brave?

2006-09-17 19:54:05 · 34 answers · asked by hondanut 4 in Family & Relationships Family

34 answers

I have worked closley with suicidal people, and they are often extremely brave individuals who are coping with a living hell. Those who make superficial attempts as a cry for help have different kinds of problems, but they too are suffering. Anyone who hurts themself in any way as a means of coping with distress is not a coward but a person in need of support. Also, suicide can be the only way for a person to feel in control of their life, especially if they are suffering from severe psychotic symptoms which cause them extreme distress and un happiness. It is important that people understand suicide as a complex and individual phenomona, it is never a cowards way out - ask yourself, could you take your own life? It is a frightening prospect, but when death seems better than life what should you do? Support and understanding is what is needed. Sorry to hear about your sad loss, make sure that you havde the right support to deal with your grief. X

2006-09-17 19:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by hooverhumper22 3 · 1 0

This is a very good question, for those who had friends/family suceed in this at first you may think they were a coward. I had my best friend commit suicide years ago, it left myself, his friends and his family in pieces. We did not realise that things were this bad for him. He wrote a letter in which he explained that he had tried and tried to get things sorted, but just couldn't go on with it anymore, he felt he was being a burden on all around him, which was not the case just the way he felt.
I think that to be the one sitting there thinking about shall I do it or not must be so hard, one hand you will think of what mess you are leaving behind, but then to do and do it must take guts! To actually end your life. I also think depending on where you do it, If you do it where there is a good chance you'll be found, is probably the person crying out for help, or if like my friend you did it where you knew you wouldn't be found, shows that you really do mean it.
Mental health is a terrible thing for all to go through, an outsider would say pull your socks up you'll be fine, but to the actualy person, you just can't see the wood through the trees.
My thoughts are with you at this time and of his young son whom now has no father. I am sure your friend will look down on you, his son and his family and help too look after you on the other side.
God bless you all at this terrible time, my prayers are for you today.xxx

2006-09-17 20:37:41 · answer #2 · answered by pinkbabi 2 · 1 0

Suicide is usually the last option to a person whom feels as if he has very little control or say in their livers any more.
People whom are profoundly depressed are especially vulnerable. Depression alters the person complete outlook on their life in a neggative manner, for example a happy person does not plan to kill themselves, why, because they're happy and life is OK for then. Being depressed alters the persons whole perception on life, they don't even realise that their perception is different eg: your Friend expressed negative comments and action which he would not have done in a more Happy state. It is not a Cowards way nor is it brave. IT IS AN ACTION CAUSED BY THE ALTERED PERCEPTION OF DEPPRESION AS AN ILLNESS.

2006-09-17 20:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by toonarmy 2 · 1 0

You're effectively asking for judgement of your friend!
I could never consider suicide myself as I would feel it was the cowards way out. I have family & friends that rely on me in the same way your friend had his son. Were life getting too much & I lived in solitude then it would just be more of a choice but when there's an obligation to another you should stick it out. If he had stuck it out & worked through things maybe he could have helped his son in a similar situation. As it is he made a choice to bring his son into the world & is now abandoning him. Imagine if his mother were not there, would he have committed suicide then leaving his son with no parents?
That said, suicide would not be something he took lightly and I'm sorry for your loss.

2006-09-17 20:00:39 · answer #4 · answered by alicepears 3 · 0 1

When a person finds reality in life he/she finds later it is hard to live in a world that they now know was a fantasy. Things like how crooked the grovernment & law is, how those with any measure of power use & prey on the week or poor hard workers. Most of suicides know for a fact there're powerless to get help for their situation. If you want to have any chance to live happy don't dig into politics. Go ahead take what's dealt to you, eat the crums off their table so you won't kill yourself, live in a fantasy world. That's the coward way out, not suicide.

2006-09-17 20:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by frank s 1 · 0 0

It is neither brave or cowardly. It is not for us to judge. What ever drove your friend to that point, was more than he could handle. To be in such hell that a person would leave his son, means that he truly felt he would do more harm than good by staying. We may have many feelings about how he dealt with it. But it was his decision to make. All we can do is celebrate the good times, and remember why listening and caring is one of the best things we can do. I'm sorry for your loss. Write down the good things about your friend, and share them with his son, some day. He will need it.

2006-09-17 19:59:14 · answer #6 · answered by Sad-Dad 3 · 0 0

suicide is never the answer. it is the wrong way out. No matter how bad things get, it could always get worse! The good book says it plainly: "thou shalt not kill" that means even your own body. If he died today, how could he possibly know that the most wonderful person in the world wouldn't be waiting on him in the near future? If he's gone, he'll never know. And what about his future grandchildren? He would never see them, or know them. That would be so sad. In my personal opinion, it is the cowards way out. life is hard, but we're not given more than we can bare, and if it's a hard load to carry, another way is always made. I hope he keeps his chin up, and his head and heart strong. Don't give up. If you can't live one day at a time, live hr by hr. / i want to add, that i failed to see the whole of the message. I'm so sorry your friend did this....it's a terrible loss.

2006-09-17 20:03:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

People have the right to live or die, but depending on the situation, it can also be a very selfish act to do, particularly when there is wife and kids involved. The children will grow up without a father and the wife will have to raise children on her own for so long...

2006-09-17 21:42:16 · answer #8 · answered by $@Z 2 · 0 0

it takes a very desperate person who at this time is in a frame of mind that no one can reach. in a way very brave, you take for example if you cut yourself ,we act like babies so it must take a great strength of some sort to be able to actually harm yourself knowing that you are going to die. it is not fair on the remaining family especially his son who in later years will wonder did his daddy not love him enough to try and fight for his life and to make it better, my answer to this would be his daddy loved him greatly but was very ill and couldn't get the correct help he needed and some day when hes ready must go back to the times when his daddy was happiest this is the thought to dwell on not how he died

2006-09-17 20:12:51 · answer #9 · answered by A G 2 · 1 0

It could be either way. One thing alot of people don't realize is that it can also be hereditary. Just something you're born with. However, there are medications to help control it. If there is a history in the family you should look for signs that it could happen to another family member.

2006-09-17 20:05:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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