I use to always be in a relationship. scared to be alone. Now I have been single for a few years and I'm not scared now. I date but I find myself scared to get involved. I have met a few great guys (and jerks) But it seems to always happen. I get to a point that I just won't let myself let go and be open to what could happen. I am terrified to get hurt. Last guy was great. I enjoyed every time we were together. But I walked away. I missed him but didn't matter. He's seeing someone else now and it hurts. Will I ever find a happy middle?
2006-09-17 19:28:07 · 17 answers · asked by casper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Probably not ----
2006-09-17 19:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you should start by understanding that not all guys are the same..i mean some might have hurt you in the past but that doesn't mean that the others will too. Next time you find a guy that you really like you should take the risk of trusting him and open up, after all there is always risks to take in relationships..like involving strong emotions or getting hurt. But hey if the guy is great and totally worth it, why not? There will be much more to gain than there is to lose trust me ;)
Take care.
2006-09-17 19:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by 4eva-pink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES you will find it BUT you will never know unless you try and love again. You see, there are people who will pass by but not certain how long will they stay. Your ex chapter in your life's book is over now..so you should learn to leave it then move on to the next chapter. BUT learn from it. I'm not going to advise to forget about it..coz somewhere along the way, it made you a better person now.We learn from our mistakes so whatever you did wrong before, you should try not do it again. Acceptance is the vital thing here. Learn accept then it will be easy to let go. Learn to accept that you can not make others do what you want like having your ex back to you now that he is already seeing someone. All you can do now is make yourself deserving for the one the Lord prepared for you.You can cry..cry hard but be sure when you wake up, you won't be crying for the same reason again. have fun, live life to the fullest glorifying God with your deeds, pray..God bless!
2006-09-17 19:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by justurangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going thru the same thing. I felt so weak when i was in love that I don't want to feel like that again. I am afraid that if I fall for someone again I will do the same thing.
I am so strong when I am single. I have accomplished so much and I am so focused on the goals that I want. I know that I can't go on just wondering what if anymore. In a few months I will be opening up and letting myself date again.
Just make sure to take your time and really be picky with the next guy. Looks and the whole bad boy image used to be important to me. Now I look for a guy who respects me, has morals, is strong, and appreciates me.
2006-09-17 19:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by pyt_tlc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Good question....it seems to me that you have just gotten used to one extreme or the other. You were used to being involved...and scared to be alone, then used to being alone ..and scared to be in a relationship...but, what you have forgotten is that somewhere ...along the way, you were fine in the middle. You had to have a few brief moments when you were getting used to either way of living...and you survived and grew comfortable with it. So why can't you just try out a relationship again, without being overly commited , at first to be sure that person is worth letting your guard down for...then if you feel in your heart they are special enough and important enough to be in your life..then takingthe risk of getting your feelings hurt would be a least a little worth it. You are capable of being happy....you proved it when you spent time with the guy you mentioned......you need to torture yourself less and enjoy yourself more......try not to live thinking that everyone you're going to meet is a potential ex-boyfriend who will hurt you someway or another...but try to think of them as someone who may potentially be the piece of the puzzle you need in your life....It will all work out someday, usually when you least expect it......until then , try not to worry too much...there are good men out there. :)
2006-09-17 19:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are you ever going to find love if you push it away. There no possibility for anything good or bad, because you get in your own way. If the right one comes along you'll know. Trust in the fact that your not scared, and if you do fall for someone and get hurt then that worst thing is your right back where you started.
2006-09-17 19:32:41 · answer #6 · answered by mariposa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont understand. Did you or didnt you love him? Youre content is conflicting.
Why do you feel hurt?
I mean, if you feel hurt then you did go past that point. If you walked away and it didnt matter to you whether he was in your life or not...you dont love him. Missing someone who was last in your life is normal. Doesnt mean you want them back. Being in 'single' mode is just that, youre single. Its not a relationship and its not a death sentence either.
2006-09-17 19:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to BE loved you must first learn to love them. The fact that you are not opening yourself up you are not loving them so there is no feeling that they can recipricate to you. Bottom line is that you just need to let yourself be vulnerable. Yes you may get hurt but its the risk you must take for love. Being so withdrawn wont ever get you anywhere but thinking what if......
2006-09-17 19:31:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you will. It's pretty easy to say "move on" but not so easy to do.
You seem like a nice person and one day you will meet your match and everything will just fall into place.
For now, don't think too much, get a hobby, hang-out with friends. Enjoy life.
Good luck!
2006-09-17 20:42:49 · answer #9 · answered by 8s_fun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of spending time on someone else, spend some quality time with yourself. IOW, get to know yourself and your needs, taking good care of yourself, treating yourself well. This is the best way to let go of old hurts. Take care. :)
2006-09-17 19:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by daryavaush 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somebody hurt you in the past.
Take a photo or draw a picture of that person.
Burn it.
As the the smoke goes in the air so will their power over you.
Meditate daily. You will find the middle.
2006-09-17 19:35:26 · answer #11 · answered by Dennis Fargo 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋