unplanned pregnancy?

Question

How would (or did) your parents (or grandparents) act if (or when) you told them you were pregnant and planning to staying unmarried? How would you act (or did act ) if (or when) you found out your unmarried daughter was pregnant?

Answer 1

well i was 18 when i got pregnant(im about to be 21 now), i found out a week b4 graduation and had been with my sons father for a little over a year, i didnt tell anyone right away cause i was scared, i didnt want to let anyone down, but my mother already knew something was up with me cause i was starting to gain weight and i never felt good, so one day she kept trying to get me to go to the hospital by our house to get a test and my this time i was still telling my mom i was a virgin, lol. cause i did plan on waiting but i for the person i wanted to be with and marry one day, so i finaly told her i didnt need to go cause i already knew i was pregnant, she was upset, and a little dissapointed, but she got over that fairly quick and got excited about her 4th grandbaby and we had just found out a week b4 that this my sister was preggo, and niether one of us were even thinking about marrige any time real soon, her story ends happy her and the guy live together with my sisters daughter from her marrige and their baby girl. My story takes a turn for the worse when my son hit 10 months i find diff. numbers of females, we split up cause i didnt trust him, blah blah blah, then a month later i find out he had been sleeping with at least 5 other females and got a girl preg. when my son was 3 months old! but she lost the baby. so now my mother is happy i never married him. and she loves her First grandson more than anything!

If you are going through this the best thing is for you just to be open and honest with everyone involved. dont hide it cause all that does is cause more anger and disapointment that you couldn't trust your own family when you are dealing with something this important in your life.

Answer 2

How somebody will react to something like this depends upon a lot of different things.

Part will be how the parents actually find out. Are they told, or do the somehow find out on their own?

Part of this will depend upon the people involved. Are you young (still in High School), or out of high school - or maybe in college? Your parents are probably going to be more accepting the older and stable you are.

How is your relationship with the other person. Have you been together for a while, or was this a one-time fling? How many previous boyfriends (sorry - I'm assuming you're a girl - guys don't usually ask questions like this) have you had in the past year or two? How long do you stick with your boyfriends? The more boyfriends you've had - the less likely they'll be supportive of you.

What are the plans with the boyfriend/father of the child? Is he planning on taking an active part - or is he scared to death - and will he bolt after the babies born - or at the first sign of difficulty? Is he working, able to provide for a girlfriend and a child or is he living off of his parents as well. Is he ready to "settle down" with you - or does he want to go out and experience life?

What are your circumstances? Are you working, providing any money to help (even partially) support yourself - or are you living off your parents?

All of these things will affect how your parents react to the news of you being pregnant.

One thing that you might not have considered - adoption. I was adopted when I was 5 weeks old into a loving family that has provided an excellent life for me. I don't know my birth mother or my birth father. I found out last summer that my birth father might not have even known my birth mother was pregnant with me.

Seriously think about what sort of life you would be able to provide for this child - and don't be selfish saying "I couldn't give away my baby" - what's more important is what's best for the child - not what you think you might want.

Answer 3

I got pregnant when i was 22 and unmarried but in a very happy relationship. We were both studying our degrees in construction management which we both completed and have then become very successful in our lives, we own our 4 bed home in surrey and also have a very clever, well adjusted little girl who is beautiful and kind. We have add to the clan with another amazing little girl and yes we are still unmarried. We feel so luckly to have these girls planned or unplanned.

It is a shame when people who have not been in the situation of an unplanned pregnacy judge other with stupied commits ie i would call my daughter a stupied whore. What can you say to that it is ingornant and of bed taste. If you have an abortion your comdemed but if you keep the baby you also suffer with stupied remarks and are written off in life. You can't win.

My parents are ministers of a church and they fully support me and my actions if they believe in them or not because they love me, my partner and my girls. For us.

Answer 4

My parents have been totally supportive. So have my grandparents.

Here's how I see it though (in my case):

I've been with my boyfriend for 10yrs this december (i'm 24, he's 25) We're having our first child (I'm due today lol) If I'd been dating him for 1yr and then married him then got knocked up would they be more accepting? That's so ridiculous. I don't see the need to get married just because I'm pregnant. I think that if we do ever get married, it should be at our own pace and not because "we have to"

His grandparents were a little less understanding but I refuse to be bullied into marriage. The baby will be fine, he'll see all his family and he gets better health insurance under me right now. To be honest, I expected my maternal, very religious grandparents to freak out and they didn't at all. I'm still surprised.

Answer 5

i imagine it comes right down to negligence. i develop into on the pill when I fell pregnant so it develop into an entire twist of destiny yet I do sense some negligence as i develop into warned that having a tummy computer virus can provide up it from operating and that i did not take the different precautions. there are such quite some questions with regard to the following about human beings not employing something and risking it then checking out they are pregnant even as not wanted. i don't sense sorry about getting pregnant yet in case you do not favor a baby then make positive it would not ensue. like you stated there are such quite some amenities and suggestion for combating being pregnant so why is there such quite some unplanned toddlers contained in the international. I easily have heard of females employing abortions as birth control which i come across impressive. on the top of the day in case you fairly do not favor a toddler then look after your self.

Answer 6

It never happened to me. But my father always reminded all 5 daughters: "If any of you get pregnant before marriage, you are no longer considered my daughter!" Unfortunately, that was the extent of his family planning speech. Fortunately, it was never an issue for me. I had my son after a couple of years of marriage, in my 30's. One of my sisters had a secret abortion. She felt she had no choice--either that or the streets at a young age (sigh). I don't have a daughter so can not exactly answer the second half of the question. But I will raise my son to take responsibility for his actions, to be careful, and to come to me or his father for help when he has too much on his plate. Even when you have given your child all the tools, one mistake can happen, and they should not make the most difficult decision of their lives without any love and support!!!

Answer 7

I am pregnant with my first and I am not married nor am I planning to get married. My boyfriend and I are really good together and suprisingly both of our parents were really accepting. Sure they were shocked at first but we were already living together so it's not like they thought we weren't having sex. The way I see it just because you are having a baby doesn't mean you should rush out and get married. This is one of the reasons the divorce rate is over 50%. I would rather make sure we are ready for that wedding than to put my child through an unneeded divorce ten years later.

Answer 8

i was an unmarried mother [ i have since married my childrens father] i told my mother that is was pregnant and she was happy for me and knowing that i was a mature and grown person she accepted it fine she was quite excited which shocked me alittle and i think i to will have the same out look as that if my daughter comes home to tell me that she is pregnant. marriage doesnt make great parents ,people make great parents people who have lived life and have love to give and share

Answer 9

both my pregnancy's where planned. but my first child i was not married and my parents loved the idea of being grandparents i married the father of my two girls then we split up, so i really don't think it matters if you are married or not as long as you can support and love the child it should not matter. and being a mother of two girls if they ever come home and said they were pregnant id support them all the way.

Answer 10

My parents were thrilled to be grandparents, neither of them were the least bit concerned about us being married.
I think marriage is highly overrated, and I will be happy to be a grandma(when my daughter's old enough), with or without a son-in-law.