I’m in a relationship with a guy and we slept together early on, I figured it was going to be a casual fling. Since then, we've gone away together for a couple's weekend, which threw me off. To complicate matters, I am a student and my University is 7 hours from where he lives, he seems okay with continuing in a relationship although we are now long distance. Here's where I get confused: I came home for the weekend and we went out as a couple Saturday and Sunday. I had only been gone for two weeks so it wasn't a big space of time since I slept with him last, but when I invited him in, he said no. Neither day that we got together he wanted to sleep with me. I will not be home for another month and he knows that, so it was this weekend or nothing. What should I think. Was he just tired this weekend or is he breaking up with me. Am I allowed to ask him if this is going anywhere or do I have to wait and see what happens. I don't want to scare him off, but I don't like being strung along.
2006-09-17 18:06:45 · 11 answers · asked by Katie M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know it hurts, but you already know the answer. You slept with a stranger and are just realizing that now. Find another lady who hasn't done the same thing at some point and you win a prize. Let yourself feel badly for a few days, then move on. Thank goodness that when you're ready, you're in school where there are lots of eligible men whom you'll have all kinds of time to get to know.
2006-09-17 18:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by capcan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's not willing to commit to a serious relationship at this point, maybe the long-distance thing is an issue for him, but he doesn't want to completely loose you. It seems like he's taking a few steps backwards to lighten up the relationship a bit, after all you said that you were intimate very soon in the relationship. I personally think all guys think we women fall in love the moment that we get intimate. Whatever. Well, my guess is that's what he's thinking anyway. I'd take things slow, and keep things light for a while. Remember, guys like a challenge, if you start asking questions like where is the relationship going, he'll be half way down the road before you even finish asking the question. Play a little hard to get, and let him do the pursuing...If he's really interested in you, he'll do the pursuing, if not, he wasn't the guy for you anyway...
2006-09-17 18:34:21 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a couple of things.
He wants you to think that you "mean" something to him, besides a lay in the hay, and by him refusing you, you will see him in a more mature sense.
He could be playing games, and since you were so "easy" in the beginning, he is going to take charge of the situation and only give it to you, when "he" wants it, or he is trying to exert power over you, by denying you sex and making you wonder whats wrong with "you"!
He may have found some one closer, and is just letting you know by not having sex, that your not important in his life at this exact moment.
You shouldnt of had sex so soon, but, since its water over the dam, lets concentrate on asking him what his intentions are, so that you will know which way the wind is blowing, and which direction you should be moving. You may have to set sail for some one closer to the University your attending, if there is an "ill wind" a blowin...
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-09-17 18:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in a similar situation: We got intimate very early on, we are living six hours away one another.
The thing fizzled out on his side and he didn't want to get intimate as often as I wanted to. I asked him where our relationship was going two months into the relationship and he used it to break up with me.
Does that answer your question? It means he's just not that into us. In a way, he was brutal for wanting to break up but it really worked out over time. I'm like you, I don't want to be strung along. The going will hurt big-time but ultimately, you know that it's really for your own good.
And it's his loss anyway for losing a great person like you.
2006-09-17 18:15:59 · answer #4 · answered by syrope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what you should do is ask him 2 months is plenty of time for a person to know what is going on. listen you guys slept already and I understand that you like the person but if it so happens that he doesn't want to be with you anymore then at least you know where you stand just becareful next time don't want to end up in the same situation again
2006-09-17 18:13:36 · answer #5 · answered by hottansweet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol are you ALLOWED to ask him?!? girl you're a grown woman. Don't assume... and don't leave everything in his hands! If u need understanding, then ask. If he really likes you, you're not gonna scare him off. And if he uses that as an excuse, that's all it is.. and EXCUSE, to put the blame on you. Get your understanding, honey. Ask him.
2006-09-17 18:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by Precious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can ask him, but be prepared for him to possibly not know. You could say you are getting mixed signals and ask him how he feels about your relationship...this may open up the conversation for whatever you are feeling. Good luck!
2006-09-17 18:11:03 · answer #7 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u should talk to him, if you guys have already gone away together then i would imagine you guys have established a real relationship, and with that it entails communication. so if he's breaking up with why waste your time and energy on sleeping with him.
2006-09-17 18:12:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 months is way too soon to ask.
waaaayy to soon.
u will scare him off.
wait a few more months.
and oh yeah. sleep with him only if YOU want to.
2006-09-17 18:08:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you should talk to him.
2006-09-17 18:08:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋