People think I'm arrogant because I'm attractive and intelligent -- but I never talk?

Question

I am bipolar2 with some residual ADD and anxiety disorder tossed in for good measure. These neuroses have a shattering effect on my ability to communicate. I understand people and all, but I just don't have the energy to talk most of the time (except in my rare hypomanic episodes). There's no way I'm getting medication and I don't think it would help because --

-- I am an extremely "divergent" thinker, meaning my mind goes off on bizarre tangents of imagination, making it extremely difficult for me to be able to follow a conversation.

Even when I DO have the native energy to open my mouth and speak I go wildly off the handle in quick, excited bursts about the "fundamental aspect of perception steeped in the physics of the universe and how it relates to human consciousness," and other crap like that.

When my ex told me in a sweet and condescending tone last summer that I'm "so weird," it broke my spirit.

The question was: is it because I don't talk? The rest was catharsis.

Answer 1

Arrogant is not the first word that would pop into my mind. Shy maybe. Socially maladroit perhaps. Better you should not worry about it. A lot of intelligent, creative people don't converse well. Why don't you take that divergent thinking and put it to work writing a book. Or a screenplay. You can probably come up with something way more original than most of what you see on Amazon.

Answer 2

There's no way you know what people think unless they say it. Unless you read minds most likely either a few people have said x and y but you are projecting what YOU think onto others and since its negative the next step is to prove your hypothesis.

Hah! so apparently you are not alone! Anyhow, I have had some experience with Bi-Polars and they never think they need medication, run themselves into the ground, get medicated build stuff up and then cycle again. Please do yourself a favor, find a medication that works and stick with it regardless of how you feel. When you are on the positive side of your bi-polar you feel you never need that dang medication, but its just a phase and you do need it ALL THE TIME.

Don't listen to your ex, but if you are having issues communicating there are several things you can do. Work on slowing down your mind to the pace of a calm speaking voice when you are speaking. If you are thinking three sentences ahead and talking out of a buffer, you got to slow it down or you will forget your point and loose other people. Another thing that works well is find a good friend and practice reflective listening. You may be Introverted or feel that you are not being listened too or accepted. Start simple. "I Feel Good today" the other person responds, "I understand that you feel good, why?". You will feel great just being heard. Another thing that might help is to type all your feelings, thoughts and negative emotions into a computer as fast as you can, just pour it all out, when you are done, don't re-read it, just delete. I think you will find that you are much more relaxed and happy with yourself and the negative thoughts have been validated, written down, out of you and gone, for a while anyhow.

In short, please find and stay on medication, don't cycle. It will be very hard for people to be friends with you if you allow Bi-Polar inconsistancies to interfer with your relationships. Second, practice communication, don't speak down to people, reflect, assume they are bright and smart and just work on the ability to listen and be understood. Its your responsibility to learn how to relate and interface with the rest of the world, don't expect them to "Step up" to you.

Hope this helps,
-Rob

Answer 3

I know it can break spirits when you hear someone you care about say "your weird". But trust me man, your taking it too deep. I can relate because i do the same. You shouldnt let it bother you, but instead help you be yourself. I think too much into what others say (its only natural) and there was a time when calling me weird was something i really get hurt from, specially from a female, let alone a gf. But remember, everyone is different, just most people put up faces, specially girls, to act, and then they end up loosing themselves, their own identity, and behave like the crowd. Thats not exactly good is it?

That said, you should continously work on your communication skills. See where your going wrong? Why your going wrong? and what can you do to solve it? NEVER GIVE UP on that! Doesnt matter what you have or what you dont. Everything has a cure except death, you just got to look for it (Maybe you wont agree with this statement, but its merely for postive thinking).

Dont think on things too much when they are hurtful. They will never help you. But instead. work on your communication skills. That is one of the keys to life. And change your way of thinking. Dont let things hurt you easyly. Stay yourself, but change when you think certain attributes are affecting you in a negative way.

Another thing, learn to listen, and see what the other person is saying. Nothing wrong with being silent and listening, but you should remember to communicate and how to "come down" to the person's level, to who your talking to.

I hope what i said makes sense, i did say it all in an unorganiosed manner. sorry about that. hehe. and good luck, keep spirits high (confidence), that is the key!

Answer 4

Maybe what some people called me is true. I like your words. "divergent thinker". I've been called weird and unique and I love sci fi and all that higher thinking stuff. I'm proud to be weird.. not like the stuffy people that have no imagination.
I see that you forgot to include an actual question but that's ok. I understand. Where you don't talk, I talk too much. And my conversations rarely stay on track... always a tangent. She is an ex for a reason. I get condescension also. I refuse to accept it.
I feel for you, but the only advice I can give you is to accept yourself again and turn her words into the water off your back.
I can't explain it, but totally understand it. Big hug for you.

Answer 5

I don't think people would necessarily think you're arrogant. If your a bar hopper change your scene. For instance at a sports bar the girls there might be into the jock types but at a punk bar or school bar maybe not as much.

Sounds like meds might help you though, might want to give it some thought.

Answer 6

There is help for you out there and hope, you need to take serious steps to make your situation better, there is a lot behind dissociative disorder, alot to learn about it and how you got it, there is a lot to know, I'll give you a source shortly.

Answer 7

You will have to treat yourself. Find a good doc and try out the prescribed medicines. They just might work.

Answer 8

i am assuming your ex is female and women are basicly always right.

Answer 9

happens to alot of ppl

Answer 10

Serial killer? Let's sit back and watch.