I love dogs, BUT...?

Question

My dog... He's afraid of me. And everyone. Even if I talk to him in a happy tone. No matter what tone I use, he's usually afraid of me. And it's not just me, it's mainly me... I look at him, even, and he's scared. I can tell cause of how he puts his body and his ears. I've tried being really nice to him, and not yell at him, but there's one BIG problem. He pees EVERYWHERE. When he's scared, and that's all the time. He KNOWS its bad, but when he gets scared, he pees. Usually it's not much, just a squirt, but today... It was DISGUSTING. My boyfriend and I even LEFT and he peed on the bed. A BIG puddle of p*ss on the bed... Through the mattress... My question is.. How can I get him to stop peeing everywhere and to NOT be afraid of me? The main question is the second part... I don't want him to be afraid of me. It's ANNOYING. I haven't done anything to him. He has NO reason to be afraid... We got him when he was a puppy, so there was no abuse. Especially by me...

He wasn't like this when we first got him... We've had him for about a year, and it only happened about 6months ago. Also, we crate trained him in the beginning. That worked out fine. He doesn't need that. But I do thank you for the suggestion!!!! As for training him.. we've done that, but I guess we haven't been practicing it for a while. We could do that some more... Thank you!!!!!

More suggestions would be nice! :-)

Thanks!!!!!!!!

I would probably suggest the boyfriend thing too, but I'm home more of the time, and my boyfriend LOVES this dog to pieces.... It's rare that my boyfriend and my dog would be together without me there. Also, he's more scared of ME than of my boyfriend... It's weird, and it's not a good feeling :-(

I've gotten tons of great tips!! It's gonna be hard to pick the best answer. I'll have to do that later.

Also, the comment about my dog being a "puss"... Yes, he is. He is pathetic. And I hate saying that cause I LOVE dogs, but this is..*shrug* an annoying dog. I've never not liked a dog as much as this one. I'm just really sick of him being AFRAID of me..... Like I said, it's a horrible feeling.... :-(....

Answer 1

you need to look into training - have you thought about crate training him? give him a chance.

Answer 2

I agree with the others. It sounds like a medical problem, unless of course no one is letting this poor dog outside regularly to pee. If you have had this dog awhile, and he is suddenly terrified of you, something has suddenly changed.

Now, if it isn't medical: Here I go with the "Tough love," and it's aimed at you. You say "no matter what tone I use" he's still afraid. Well, if he's really in tune with your moods, and you've been yelling, he still expects screaming to erupt at any time, regardless of you sweet-talking for a second. He's reading you very well.

Have you had some changes in your own life that are making you more frustrated or easily upset? Your letter seems to be focusing on how this affects you: you use words like annoying and disgusting, and seem to be taking his fear of you very personally. You didn't even say you loved the dog until you elaborated a little later on. Do you think the dog doesn't realize you're angry and upset and frustrated? You say "He knows its bad but when he gets scared, he pees." What's making him so scared?

If a medical problem is not present, I would recommend going to training, and asking the trainer to be candid about what's upsetting the dog. If you really do care about the dog, listen to what the trainer tells you about your own behavior. I realize this is probably not what you want to hear, but peeing is a sign of submission or fear, and something seems to have this dog highly upset.

For everyone's sake, get some help, one way or another. You all sound miserable. Good luck.

Answer 3

If it is a small dog - you are in trouble because getting on the bed and peeing is not good and simply untolerable yet if it is a big dog put him outside....Your dog sounds like he's a nervous and a bit neurotic...good luck. I suggest taking him on a walk and stop using the 'happy high tone' that is scary to dogs esp. in the beginning and it is best to be 'straight up' with them and tell them like it is - just like a real person. Trust me, he will respect you a little bit more if he hears a 'natural, even voice tone' directed at him...and maybe even take him on a walk and talk during that time. Give him a treat when it seems like he understood and make sure to keep an 'even vocal tone' around him - keep your emotional outburst away from his space - some animals just can't take it and become real sensitive and never bond if they feel like they are always around someone who is also 'expecting the worse'.... BUT - REALLY I THINK HE NEEDS TO BE TAKEN ON A WALK ON A ROUTINE BASIS TO WORK OUT ANY ANXIETY HE HAS GOING ON...GOOD, GOOD, LUCK.

Answer 4

Have you had him checked out by a vet? There could be more going on with him than you realize.
Dogs, just like people, can have "self esteem" issues. He needs to be trained properly to build his confidence. I know this sounds silly, but I have years of experience with this. It is not the dogs fault that he is urinating submissively. The more upset or tense you get with him, the more he will do this. They sense things that humans can not, so he knows that you are tense around him no matter how much you try to hide it.
You also don't know what he went through before you got him, even if you did get him as a puppy. Just as in human infants that are abused, the symptoms can show up later in life.

Answer 5

Some dogs are naturally timid, It also depends on the age and the breed. I have 2 yorkies. And they are naturally timid dogs. I ended up having to take the youngest one to obedience school. Before I could get him to quit peeing every where. They do make some over the counter stuff that you can spray around your house so they won't pee there, but every one that I tried. smelled worse than the pee. As for being afraid of you, that is something that is going time and Patience. Just spend as much time as you can petting him while talking in a soothing voice. Try giving him little doggie treats until he warms up to you.
Good luck

Answer 6

Take him into the vet to make sure that he doesn't have a bladder infection or genetic deformity that prevents him from "holding it"
Keep him on a leash, tied to you all the time. That way you can contain the mess in one location so you don't find messes all over the house. He also has to stay near you and learn that you are a pretty good friend.
Get him on a strict eating and bathrooming schedule. If you take him out before he gets "full", it's less likely he will have accidents. You have to set a schedule so you know when he needs to go. Feed him morning and night and take him out right after he is done, he should go about 10 minutes after meals. He needs to go out as soon as you get home from work and about every 2 hours until you learn his habits.
When you take him out (still on the leash) stay with him and say over and over "go potty" until he does. Then praise like crazy and go into the house. No playing, he needs to learn the difference between potty time and play time.
If you catch him going in the house, scoop him up gently, (don't say anything) and go outside. Praise him like crazy even if nothing else comes out. Then back into the house, again, no playing.
OK, this sounds completely nuts, but you need to lay on your back, on the floor, and talk to the dog. Yeah, everyone in the family does too. Keep him on a leash and lay down next to him and talk over your day. Gentle strokes, lots of praise, and talking. He is an EXTREMELY submissive and timid dog, you have to take extra steps to make him trust you. Because he is so timid, never hit him or raise your voice. Not that you would, but it's more important with this type of dog, than the adverage dog.
Start obedience classes. They give dogs confidence in themselves and they will teach you how to train him without going nuts yourself. They can also help with your specific problems. Petsmart has a wonderful program. Not expensive and they offer free "go backs" until you are satisfied with the dog's training.
Be patient, calm, and consistent.
Good Luck

Answer 7

First of all take your dog to the vet for a complete check up. He could have some physical problem that is causing this. He could have been abused as a tiny puppy, even before you brought him home. He has to have some problem that is causing this, animals are generally very trusting and loving and do not just pee everywhere for no reason. Good luck to you and your pup.

Answer 8

You may not do anything to him, but what about your boyfriend when you are not around?

Also there are conditions that come on later in life. Take him to the vet and if that does not work, find him a home with an old person who will be kind and patient and won't raise their voice to him. Something is scaring this dog and I would bet your boyfriend knows why.

Answer 9

Believe me, most animals are very smart, and your dog is no exception. Someone is being, or has been very mean, and terrifying your dog, you`d be smart to try and find out who. if only pets could speak our language, he is probably trying to tell you, by his actions that he cannot trust humans any more because they are cruel to him. and he won`t trust you either, because he feels you are allowing this to happen to him, when you`re not around. please be patient with the poor fellow, and take him to a good vet. that too will scare the piss out of um. but what else is there to do?

Answer 10

My friend had a similar problem and the dog was actually afraid because it had the sensation of wanting and needing to pee due to some medical reason.Her dog knew it was bad to pee but couldn't help it.
Take your dog to the Vets and see what if anything is wrong.

Answer 11

Dogs need to be let out often, a minimum of every six hours and most will not pee indoors.

I had a dog that was scared of me. I picked him up and loved him every day and soon he was fine.