Baked Beans - This is hilarious!
(This one is much too cute not to share. Enjoy!
Be sure to grab a tissue; I think you'll be laughing so hard you'll cry!)
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that
I would be late because I had to walk home.
On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by
the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew
it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I
released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang.
He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and
went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room
I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three
more. The stink
was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,
I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my
freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on
my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and
pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I
had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-17 17:01:18 · 31 answers · asked by smarti 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
To that guy who asked who my roomy was, i dont think she's on yahoo answers, and she sent this to me last week. I just cut and pasted the whole thing from her email. This may be overused, but you gotta admit it's funny!!!!!!!
2006-09-17 18:10:21 · update #1
that was good. I thought that when the husband removed the blindfold that it was going to say that the suprise was that they were going to have beans for supper but this ending was pretty darn funny thank you.
2006-09-17 19:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
who's your roomy? WOMAN_KNOWS?
sorry for asking...i just sent this to her 14 hours ago
it goes like this:
There lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. Unfortunately, they made her pass so much gas each time.
So when she met the man she would marry, she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months after her wedding, her car broke down on the way home from work. She called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she stopped at a diner, and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she farted, and upon arriving home she felt sure she could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and said, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.
She seated herself and as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.
He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned, then went to answer the telephone.
While her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifting her weight to one leg and letting it rip. It was loud, and smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk. She shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. She went on like this for another 10 minutes!
When her husband's call ended, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin. He removed the blindfold, and she saw 12 dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday!"
same thing right???newei,it was still funny....lol!
2006-09-18 00:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by eDraLiN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good, Funny joke. Thanks
Don't let people put you off from telling jokes here. I believe that they get some kind of pleasure out of saying "it has already been posted" or something similar. Maybe they like to feel superior with this attitude.
I hear that about some of the jokes that I post, and the comments usually come from the same people. I believe that one of my currently posted jokes, received the same message from the same person that you did.
Most jokes have been posted somewhere at some time, but not everybody has read every joke in the world.
Just keep posting jokes that you think are funny, and let the rest of us read them and get a laugh.
Keep up the good work.
2006-09-18 05:12:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehe..tht was cute n funny. However i saw something like ths before..on a tv ad or smthng but the venue was in a car with the girl on her first date. There were the guy's friends sitting on the back seat without the girl realising it..n she ripped off some mighty good ones..hehe
But in real life..its definitely embarassing than funny.. Boy i wouldn't want to be caught dead doing tht!
2006-09-18 00:09:25 · answer #4 · answered by maria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right! That is a funny story. It made me laugh out loud!
2006-09-18 00:04:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was funny. It actually made me laugh which is hard to do with jokes.
2006-09-18 00:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by fullofsunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hadn't heard it before. Thank you for sharing. And if I may overuse an overused mnemonic, LOL!
2006-09-18 00:05:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I've heard this one before. It makes me laugh every time! How embarassing that would be!
2006-09-18 00:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious. My husband and dad will LOVE this joke because they are big fans of toilet humor.
2006-09-18 00:06:14 · answer #9 · answered by Untitled 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Way old-but still funny-
2006-09-18 00:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by boilerrat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋