help parent problems right nOW?

Question

Okay... I'm having parental trouble right now...

To put it lightly, my dad has some mental issues that he's dealing with and tonight he said that he's pretty much walking out on us. I don't think it's fair because I just got into high school and I should have a stable homelife to fall back on... But then again I'm used to this bullshit that I've been dealing with my entire life. I HATE ALL OF THIS!!!! I"M only 14 and I need to stop being told that I'm ignorant and brainwashed and messed up because I AM NOT!!! I don't feel bad for myself, so if that's what you think don't respond please. In fact, I don't care as much about the affects of this on me as much as it will have on my 11 year old brother. Anybod y who has any advice please repond. I'm not joking at all and this is very serious. I just am not sure how to deal.. I'm a bit of an introvert.

PLEASE I AM FREAKING OUT........................ I need some answers. I don't know what to do. He's going to leave I think. I don't want to move. No ONE UNDERSTANDS

Answer 1

Well, first of all you need a stable home environment. Talk to your counselor at school. He/she is a mandatory reporter. What you've described of your father's behavior is neglect as well as emotional abuse. Perhaps there's more. Is there a relative with whom you and your brother could live? That's usually best. If not, a foster home is next best. I hope you could be placed together. I know you may not want to be separated from your brother, but your home environment is not healthy, and can be emotionally damaging to you. You are still a child yourself, so please don't try to sit out the situation just to stay with your brother. Really, by telling someone you're getting help for him too.

Now, about getting more help for you. Again, you may want to ask the school counselor about some sessions for you, so you can work through some of the pain, frustration, and anger you're feeling.

The National Organization on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers a free course for family members of a person with a severe mental illness. They go for 12 weeks. You can learn all about brain disorders, as well as get support from other people going through similar situations. It's all confidential too.
http://www.nami.org/template.cfm?section=Family-to-Family

Your problem is a lot more common that you think. You're welcome to send me a private email if you'd like more information. Take care.

Family/Children's Mental Health Hot Line 1-800-654-1247 (24 hrs)

Family Violence Help Line 1-800/222-2000 (24 hrs)

Child help USA - Child Abuse Reporting 1-800/4-A-CHILD (24 hrs)

General Crisis Counselling 1-800-785-8111

Youth Crisis Line 1-800-448-4663


http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/aa070500a.htm


Edited to say:
CALL MENTAL HEALTH DEPARTMENT NOW. Should be in your phone book. They can put him in hospital for 72 hours if he's a danger to self or others. (The length of the hold may vary for different states.) You are in a crisis situation right now. Get help.

Answer 2

Just know that whatever happens is not your fault. You can't control what your father does. Whether he decides to walk out on his family is his decision. The only thing you can do is stay strong for your family, especially your little brother. A lot of families go through hard times. The most important thing in a family is communication. Trust me.. I know what you're talking about. Not too long ago my step dad and brother got into a physical fight... even I got into it. It tore up my whole family emotionally. Still to this day nothing is the same, it's just awkward and sucks not being able to have a close family that can talk about anything and get along. But unfortunately that's life, you just have to make the best out of it and be the best person you can be! Maybe talk with your dad about getting some help, but that's not always easy, so try talking with family about getting your dad help & working together. He is your dad and even if the times are tough he loves you so prove to him that you love him!

Answer 3

If your dad's the one saying mean things to you, just remember, he's the one w/the mental problems, not you! And maybe if he walks out and hopefully gets some help, you're life will become "normal" again. Having him around and causing problems isn't easy to live with, especially since you have no control, I know. You need someone outside the family to talk to and support you when you feel angry. Not a girlfriend, but an adult. Just don't let him get to you. Be strong and respect him as your dad, but understand he's a sick man right now. Hang in there, life gets better I promise. Been there, done that many years ago and I'm just fine!

Answer 4

life is hard and sure you want a stable home .but maybe its best your dad leaves like you put it .he had mental issues he dealing with.your brother will be fine cause he still had you.sure your only 14 but you have to be strong your dad need you and you need him.in life (things happen for a reason) hang in there. ////smile someone cares

Answer 5

Its a tough one - him leaving might be a new lease of life. At the end of the day it sometimes is better to hurt alot in the short term to feel good for the long term.

Answer 6

Yeah.. I am sorry to hear that, I don't know exactly what to say. It's really sad to have a situation like that. ask your dad what he is thinkin. Give him the guilt trip. Make him feel awefull for what he is doing to you and your brother. I am sorry for what you are going through. If you wanna talk.. Just let me know.
- Cyber Spacer

Answer 7

I really dont know what to say i have had tha same issues all my life.Still dont know how to deal with them.My dads also mental and walked out on me.