I'm 20/m heres the story, I started to be really good friends with a christian girl she liked be A LOT from the start she was the innocent, christian, never had a boyfriend, never kissed, never held hands, I was her first everything. We were friends for a year then she kind of pushed us going out, kept mentioning it, I thought she was very attractive that's all though. We started going out, I fell in LOVE with her within a month. This is my FIRST and only love I had though I did have quiet a bit of girlfriends but never felt like this before. She told me she loved me and I was the one for her. She was a peoples person I mean everyone wanted to talk to her and be around her she was like a dream come true, honestly, too good to be true. All guys were after her all the time, somehow I got her? Anyways she told me shes going to move about 500 miles away to go to a medical school 4.0 student who's going to be a doctor and she is MOTIVATED. Life couldn't be better. (continued)
2006-09-17 16:08:50 · 18 answers · asked by Dispirited 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We both decided break up wasn’t an issue b/c we loved each other very much. I went there every other weekend to visit her after she moved. It was beautiful I felt like I had EVERYTHING I mean this is like in the movies that’s how it felt. After 5 months it was just getting better and better. One day I called her she didn’t answer, I tried calling for days being worried I drove in the middle of the night 500 miles away calling her on the way telling her I was speeding maybe that would get her attention (normally she is very sensitive like that) , nothing. I called her once more when I arrived early morning and she was outside told me “let’s go, you go to sleep and your leaving in the morning” I started to tear, asking what is going on, I asked, “are you breaking up with me?” she replied
2006-09-17 16:09:23 · update #1
“Yes, god told me to break up with you or something bad is going to happen” I cried and I left w/ no words. Is it really possible that someone could love you and show SO much affection and love toward you and one day BOOM emotionless and never heard from her since. I mean this is a SENSITIVE Christian girl and just like that? God told her? I want opinions PLEASE, and is this possible? I am heart broken still and I don’t trust anyone anymore, no friends, no motivation, it’s been year and a half and I am 20 I want my life back, I tried going to church nothing helps I TRULY tried I want suggestions THANK YOU!
2006-09-17 16:09:40 · update #2
I am very sorry to learn of your troubles. You have a choice however. You can continue to ask why and pine over her, or you can choose to move on with your life. Believe me I know it is hard. It is not fair and is just plain puzzling. However when it comes down to it, you do not have control over her actions. Did God really tell her to break up with you? I personally do not believe God works that way. However again, you can not change her mind. Resolve to yourself that you can go on. Set small obtainable goals. Things that you have control of. i.e. deciding to go back to school, or start a project on a hobby. The idea is to get your mind off of what you can not control and on to something you can. I am a Christian and also struggle with this issue. My wife, soul mate, best friend left me a little over 6 weeks ago. This exercise has helped me immensely.
Good Luck and Godspeed.
2006-09-17 16:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll try to help you this way,just because she didn't answer the phone one night was no reason to drive that far to see what was wrong,i believe you over reacted.When some Christians go out into the world away from the people that support them and there way of life they succumb to evil,not saying this is the case but could be.I think she met someone else(so now she's cheating on you)and you showing up without notice was the end of the relationship.Accept the fact that it's over,you can and will over come this and move on.It's your first taste of love and you'll find it again.
2006-09-17 23:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that happens. And I hope you do get back on your feet soon. This girl doesn't seem worth your time. I dont think God actually speaks to people esp not to tell someone to break up with someone. Thats total bs. She probably just didn't know what else to say to you. She totally did it in a bad way, and I'm sorry you're hurting. But you will find someone else. She really isn't as great as you say if she could treat someone "she loved" the way she did. You'll find a great girl. Just relax.........and know that everything happens for a reason. Girls come and go but you should hang with your friends and family they will help you and be able to be with you to get you through stuff. Good luck
2006-09-17 23:24:01 · answer #3 · answered by sncannon86 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do believe in prayer, if she really prayed about it then maybe she was told to break up. Now i only say this cause i have a friend that told his wife God told him there was going to be a fire and within 24 hrs his wife caught the kitchen on fire cause she was outside talking to their preacher. This is no joke. I wouldnt do that to someone. But what i dont understand is why she doesnt talk to ya now. Maybe you should do a little praying for yourself, ask god to help you get over this. Maybe somewhere down the line you will meet up with her again but for now i think you should move on. You sound like a decent guy and you cant give up your life for someone if they are not going to do the same for you. Good Luck and i hope you find some ansewers. I will pray for ya. I believe god has someone for everyone if its meant to be it will.
2006-09-17 23:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with you. SOmething happened in her that made her change. I have no idea what that is. She is lost. For whatever reason, she didn't know how to breakup with you the right way, and somehow in her head she felt dissapearing and cutting you off was the most appropriate or easiest way.
You have to move on. You have a lot of love to give, and probably in God's plan, there is someone out there deserving it and your attachment to her is keeping you from finding that new person. You are too young to be stuck to that old memory. Live life, reward yourself by finding what great things the future has in store for you
2006-09-17 23:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, if she's dodging calls and avoiding your very obvious show of concern then I'd say there's something VERY wrong.
However, you need to get your head & your walk with Christ in order before you worry about any relationship. I know you love her, but it sounds like right now she is the primary focus of your life, not your relationship with God. Work on the spiritual side of you, worry about your prayer-life and not how you feel about it. Feelings can be deceptive, especially when you are in turmoil. Go to your pastor, or to an older male at your church that you trust and talk! Good luck and I'll say a prayer for you.
2006-09-17 23:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by kiara8192 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she believes that God told her to do it, then maybe its true. Strange things can happen, but honestly I just think she lost interest. Your 20, I know you were "in love" but, I think you should move on. Your caring and sweet from the sound of it, you don't need to spend your life asking questions like "why". Life is too short for that sort of thing. If people are going to hurt you then they aren't worth worrying about, just from personal experience.
2006-09-17 23:24:19 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a tough story. I'm so sorry for your loss. Well, from a Christian point of view I would say that God must have other plans for you. I say that because my first husband was my everything, my world, father of my children. When I met him he was a youth minister, and I just knew God had sent him to me. Long story short, our relationship ended when he actually kicked me out of the home. He didn't want me to go to church, have friends, and he had developed a drinking problem. I never would have left him of my own will. I covered for him to his job (he became a police officer) his family, my family and nieghbors. Although it didn't feel like it at first, when we broke apart, God actually gave me back my life. He knew my heart and eventually he sent someone of HIS choosing to be my husband. Sometimes love blinds you to what God really has in store for you. Be prayerful and praise Him to heal your heart and open your eyes to other possibilities. You sound like a wonderful young Christian man and you will find someone else. I will add you to my prayers!
2006-09-17 23:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by karen W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry your heart is broken, I hurt for you! You will always have a special place in your heart for your first love. I sincerely feel she used " God told her" as an excuse to avoid confrontation and to keep whatever it was on her mind from hurting you, you still got hurt in the process. You deserve an explanation especially for some closure so you can go on with your life. Please continue listening to the word of God, he loves you so much, and believe it or not, you will love again too. I once said to my boyfriend when we started dating "I don't know why I trust you so much." He said "I haven't given you a reason not to." We are approaching our 10th wedding anniversary with two children. I didn't think I could trust again but I did and my husband hasn't given me a reason not to. God Bless
2006-09-17 23:40:50 · answer #9 · answered by smily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as if she is using God as an excuse to break up with you. I dont believe God would want her just to up and not contact you or be honest with you about things. If she is breaking up with you that is her choice and she needs to be upfront with you about it.
Yes, I'll admit the bible does say we are to be careful who we are friends with and who we pick as life partners......it says " not to be unequally yoked" that means that we as christians shouldnt be involved with non believers..... now I dont know the circumstances or if you are a christian too or not, but no matter what the case she should of been upfront with you and honest.....not let you hang and worry as she did.....that wasnt right at all.
You said you went to church and you still can't trust anyone.....let me encourage you to trust God......He knows your pain and hurt and is there with you through this. Sometimes God is the only one you can trust because in this world people will let you down...God will help you trust again and make good friends and even have that special someone you are looking for. Through Him all things are possible.
Dont give up hope . Good luck to you and God bless.
2006-09-17 23:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by wendyceline2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋