is it alright to want to be a single mother?

Question

i have had my fair share of relationships and came to the conclusion that i cannot trust men. i want to have children of my own without the hassel of a husband. i'd have men in my life to please me sexually, date, and maybe to fix things around the house. i no longer have the urge to be in an exclusive relationship when all he's gonna do is lie and cheat and add unneeded stress to my life.

Answer 1

Some people will say it's selfish, but I don't really see a problem with it unless you don't have a postive male role-model for this child

Answer 2

If you can get a good enough job that you can afford to raise a child properly, including good childhood experiences such as swimming lessons, piano lessons, maybe a week at summer camp, joining a hockey team, probably including a dog or cat, etc., still pay for groceries, rent, daycare, babysitters, clothes, toys, the occasional trip somewhere, as well as interacting with extended family so your child has a sense of family, then it is possible.

However, it sounds like the issue is more strongly about the way men have been treating you. Perhaps you need to choose a better quality of man. Take a chance on a really good sort of guy, and go slowly into the relationship. Go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Answer 3

Dear Coco,
I'm sorry you feel like that about men. We are not all evil.But your question! Coco,I leave the moral questions to others. You probably know what the religious people say. I think that you will be doing a disservice to your possible child,however. My parents were married and had me their one and only child. they were older and Dad died when he was 50 and i was 10. I was old enough to see the difficulties of raising a child by yourself for my mother, and i could remember how much easier it was with Dad around. With a man you could love around your child will also see how a healthy loving relationship will work out. Hopefully he or she will then have an idea of what kind of paramour they will seek when they get older and you start begging them for grandchildren!!!:) You are wise not to want to be involved with an idiot but maybe you should ask yourself where have I been finding these guys? It is time to search elsewhere! If you have a boy are you going to want him to grow up to be like these men you've dated before? Good relationships are not perfect but I'll bet there are many single moms who wish they had thought twice or had found a better man before giving up first prize!!
Good luck with whatever you decide!!

Answer 4

After being divorced for 10 years I decided I wanted another child. But I didn't want the relationship. My daughter is now 8. It is a very selfish and difficult thing to do. Not only do you have to deal with the difficulties of raising a child on your own 24/7 but also the answers you owe this child. Doesn't your child deserve to have a father? When Father's day comes it around it is difficult, when she sees other kids with their father it is even harder. I love my daughter to death and wouldn't change things, but their is the guilt I will always live with. I can buy her everything and give her all the love in the world but the one thing she really deserves is to have a mom and dad there for her each and every day.

Answer 5

Well, honestly, do you really need complete strangers on the internet to tell you how to live your life? And do you really think that all men out there are horrible good for nothing sleeze balls?

It's good that you feel you've found independence, but if you've made such a decision that you can live independently and make it on your own, rebelling against tradition that a man and a woman should always be together, why do you need approval to make a decision to be a single mother?

Being a mother, one without a man to boot, requires a lot of strength and being comfortable with who you are. Mothers are the ultimate role model. But it seems that you're also a little insecure about yourself if you're asking complete strangers what they think about being a single mother. I think you might want to look within yourself and really see if you're ready to take on being a single mother and being ok with going against the grain and dealing with the negative reactions you might get sometimes.

But to answer your question specifically, yes it's ok to want to be a single mother.

Good luck and namaste.

Answer 6

I do not think there is anything at all wrong with being a single mother or wanting to be a single mother - but is hard. It is also easier in a lot of ways i.e. getting the only and final say on everything etc. However, it sounds like you've been burned recently and I think that it would be a mistake to make such an important decision based on emotion.

Answer 7

I am like you, I too have had my share of lieing and cheating men. I have been a single mother now for two years and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me . I go out but I never let myself become totally involved with a guy. It makes life a lot easier.

Answer 8

Well, it's definitely better to be a single mother than for the kids to have an abusive father.

But I don't think you should give up just yet. There are good guys out there. And with them a relationship will not seem like a hassle, but something that fulfills you and makes you happy.
The best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do!

Answer 9

I was/am like you. Nothing hurts a child worse than not having two parents. My daughter and son both don't have their father's. I am not a young girl. My daughter is 25. I think kids need two parents for balance. But if one of the parents is a little crazy it's okay to raise the kid alone. Who wants a nut influencing your kids heads. My suggestion is adopt. No need to bring another child with so many already. Start with fost adopt and if you like it fully adopt. You also know if you do find mister right you won't have to worry about him saying he doesn't want to raise some other man's kid. Trust me they do say that. If you adopt he won't be so ready to be judgemental. I would hope. Good luck what ever decision you make.

Answer 10

You'd do an Angelina Jolie. It is possible to be a single mother and less social stigma these days BUT
think of the unnecessary stress your child/children will have growing up in a broken family environment.

Answer 11

It OK to want to be a single mom but I think you should wait a while before deciding to because it seems to me you were hurt recently and you want to swear off men all together but wait awhile because who knows Mr right might come along and not Mr right now. Every women gets hurt at least once in her life but we get up and sometimes do again till we get it right and everyone has a soul mate out there it just depends on weather they except it or not.Good luck eight er way.