I have a adult son who no longer lives at home. During his teens, he started using cannabis and amphetamine and became violent towards me - same as his dad). After taking out an AVO, things got worse, he ended up in court etc for crimes and he moved out with my help at aged 18. When he wants money for drugs, he tries to manipulate myself and my elderly parents. He then fights with me but they give in to him which makes it worse for me. They do not understand my point. Now he is no longer talking to me and we have no contact at present. My parents are still babying him and my mother continually phones me and brags to me about my son even though she is furious with him. I don't know what to do. I thought that playing it tough will make him think about his behaviour but it is destroying our relationship. If I give in to him he will use drugs and continue this terrible road to destruction. Have any other parents had to deal with this? I am being consumed by this.
2006-09-17 15:25:50 · 4 answers · asked by Deb 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First, I am not a parent....I WAS like your son. I am a recovering addict and I had put my parents through hell. They finally had enough of my addiction and kicked me out of their home. I was homeless, jobless, and a junkie. I had went on for years that way until I hit my rock bottom. Now that I am clean, I know my parents did it because they love me and it forced me into a life that was deadly but I had to hit that bottom. Don't give him money, when he calls be of concern but remember...you can not help him anymore...he has to want to get help. As for your parents, (his grandparents) all they are doing is enabling him. You need to let them know they are hurting him more than helping him. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless you and may God bring your son into recovery and back into your life.
2006-09-18 12:44:02 · answer #1 · answered by MS BOSSY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the right thing. Giving him money is just like handing over the drugs. If your parents are talking to him and are worried but just give in to him, maybe suggest to them to suggest to your son that he needs to get into a program Your son will learn someday that you were only trying ot help. He will probably end up in jail and that may not necessarily be a bad thing. You all could also plan an intervention and show him exactly how is behavior is hurting you and the people around him.
2006-09-17 15:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by melashell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right... Put it to your parents... (Mom if I was getting money from you and you knew I was going to buy drugs, would you give me the money?) If she doesn't understand that and connect it to your son then try poining out how guilty she will feel if he buys and the OD's or is shot or is killed over the drugs. Anything can happen.
My friend was shot in the legs as he ran, over a 20.00 hit. There was a cop right there he's lucky the guy didn't shoot his face or chest..... he could have died.
2006-09-17 16:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfornutnately your son will probably have to hit rock bottom before he wakes up. It will catch up with him. When it does hopefully he will change
2006-09-18 08:51:03 · answer #4 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋