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How important is extended family to you (personally)?

Do you live near your parents and family?

How important is that family to you?

Do you think a parent function with out family close by?

Do you think it effects a child’s well-being emotionally having family around?

2006-09-17 15:11:35 · 14 answers · asked by .vato. 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

14 answers

Great question. We lived about 1100 miles from both sets of grandparents until my daughter was about 16 months old. I don't think it hurt her any, but it was painful to watch her shy away from grandma's kisses at Christmas. For almost a year we have lived in the same town as my husband's parents. I thought I would love being so close to family. Admittedly it is great for my daughter, she really really loves to be with Grandma and Papa, but I am still adapting to having them so close (privacy seems to be a thing of the past). In the last year my daughter has become much less shy and has learned many thing socially. I can't honestly say that this was caused by having her grandparents closer, but maybe it helped.

Thankfully families who have to live far apart can communicate so easily through telephone, cell phones and e-mail. A new parent can quickly call their mother or father across the country and get the advice and support they need. The distance does make it difficult for a young child to get to know family though.

2006-09-17 15:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by S. O. 4 · 1 0

I was so fortunate when I was growing up to have had a close extended family. Even the times when we lived far away, we always knew where we would be on Christmas day. I knew a large, extended family (even four of my great-grandparents) and it gave me a sense of roots and belonging. I feel bad that my daughters and I live so far from my parents and we can't afford to travel a lot. Now that I have grandchildren (3 stepgrandchildren and 1 blood), I've found out that grandparents have the opportunity to do things that they wanted to do with their own kids but were under too much strain to do. It's can be a wonderful, positive relationship and I wouldn't dream of moving away from them! Yes, a family can function without relatives nearby, but how great to have them near!

2006-09-17 22:59:19 · answer #2 · answered by bikerpjb 4 · 0 0

1. How important . . . very, very important if they are a loving family.
2. No, parents died. Found out that person I thought was father was actually stepfather a few days after mother died. Rest of family disowned me afterwards . . . evidently there was money involved -- according to a few other people I know.
3. No -- only my children/grandchildren and they are very important to me.
4. Not sure what you are asking here. I believe parents can function without family close by if that is what you are asking.
5. Definitely. I believe a loving extended family can be supporting during rough times, answer questions based on their life experiences and knowledge. I also believe it helps a child have a better understanding of who they are and how much they are loved.

2006-09-17 22:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by joyann 3 · 0 0

I believe you asked this for a young parent like yourself to answer. I was a young parent at one time. My daughter turns 36 this month. She has two children, one of each, and I have missed so much not living close to them. They do live close to the other grandmother and I truly believe that is important. "Family" as I knew it as a child is so much different now. I had Uncles and Aunts and all the close relatives and it was Important. You had a support network and somewhere to spend the night if your parents wanted to go out. That's all changed now.....for the worse I think.

You sound like someone who is thinking of moving. Yes, you can and will get by if your family is not close by. Your child or children will do just fine. They are very resilient and will adjust with almost anything new as long as they know they are loved and you are supportive.

2006-09-17 22:33:16 · answer #4 · answered by SNOOP 4 · 0 0

Great question.

My mum who was looking so forward to helping me with my baby got really sick a week before he was born and ended up in a nursing home. She lived really close and it would have been great to have her around. I missed out on alot,the advice from her in dealing with the baby of course the baby sitting etc. So yes you do realise how close the extended family is especially when they're not there. As for my in laws who also live close by they are no help at all. They chose the see the kids when they feel like it,the mother in law was never offered advice or had been there when I really needed her. They are seasoned travellers never home. However when her daughter got pregnant she went interstate and stayed there 2 months to help her out. She has looked after her daughter child numerous times. Mine hardly ever.
So to me family is very important especially your mum. As you tend to raise your kids the same way you were. As for my in laws I am civil but I know I cant rely on them,which is very hard when you don't have a big circle of friends. But my 2 boys are healthy and smart and I can proudly say I did it on my own,well with help from hubby on occasion.

2006-09-17 23:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It is important to me.

I live close to some of them and some of them are quite a ways away. Like you some of my family have traveled for careers but they are all at least now in the same country

Very Important

Yes but it is nice to have the support of your family if you have it. You can have that support without them living close though and not have it even if they are next door

I think it can but I think they can be well adjusted either way. I guess it could be negative as well depending on the family.

Dad of 7 Grandpa of 14

2006-09-17 22:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by jgreaves 3 · 1 0

As a child i grew up moving around every couple of years and thought it was great. We saw grandparents and aunts and uncles on major holidays and I thought that was how everyone lived. (Air force brat) As a teenager I thought I would be so glad to move out and raise my own family and do things my way! But now I am doing that and I have found my family to be invaluable. (not sure my husband feels the same way!!LOL) I live in town with my mom and two of my sisters. We help each other out all the time. They watch mine and I watch theirs. We give advice on what works and doesn't and as ever my mom tells us all her great advice and never expects us to use it but likes to see what works for us and what doesn't so I think one of the other answers said it best....it takes a village! Of course you can do it without but I think you miss out on something. and yes ithink my kids are better off for having known their extended family...more people....more love.....more fun

2006-09-17 22:53:35 · answer #7 · answered by Tetsi 3 · 1 0

yes I live near my parents (actually I live with them)
they are important in my life coz they are my family
a parent can function without a family close by but it's better if other relatives are around
and yes it affects a child. having a family around is good for guidance, love, and support

2006-09-17 22:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I used to think that extended family is nice to have around. I grew up living hours away from my aunts/grandparents and only got to see them on major holidays. Things were so much better then.

I moved closer to them and it just made things worse, they always are in my business and don't know when to stop talking about me. I do nothing wrong, no drugs/alochol, etc. They just think since they are happy they can make other people miserable!

2006-09-17 22:32:27 · answer #9 · answered by ashleymarie1985 1 · 1 0

It's ideal to have family close by, but millions of families function without that support system. We live in California and all our relatives are in the midwest. We visit once a year there, and they come here occasionally. You have to make your own support group with friends and church people, etc. It can be hard around the holidays, though, when all your friends and so on are going to their own relatives and you are on your own.

2006-09-17 22:23:57 · answer #10 · answered by toomanycommercials 5 · 2 0

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