Have men became lazy when it comes to treating a woman right?

Question

They make no effort to look good to meet you. They don't bring flowers, won't buy dinner, don't compliment you, and dont' have the decency to tell you why they are interested in you, etc. It seems that in my mom's dating days, men put more effort into impressing a woman.

I have no desire to be equal and have an old fashioned attitude when it comes to relationships.

Answer 1

You look lovely today.

In answer to your question, you're probably right. People have a general attitude of casualness. Just go to a funeral, and see how many men bother to put on a coat and tie out of respect for the deceased and his family; or go to a nice restaurant and see who bothers to dress up at all. I could think of lots of examples, but the worst one was the man I recently saw in the passenger waiting area at O'Hare Airport in Chicago, who, in front of over 100 people, took out red dental floss and began to clean his teeth with it in public. I think it's part of a general attitude that "I'm more important than anyone or anything else that's going on."

Answer 2

In your mom's day....women didn't get the better jobs. Sons weren't raised by mothers only and found out how tough it is to be a dad. Back then boys were taught to treat a lady right, but ladies were taught how to treat a man right. It just seems like society wants girls to still have all the old values and benefits of being a woman, but also get everything a man has and more. I think that has a lot to do with chivalry.

Answer 3

I don't know where you are finding your men, but I would think that it is standard to do all of those things! Of course I want to impress a woman if I have gone through the effort to even ask her to dinner! Why should I ask if I don't plan to have the relationship go anyplace? To make the chances better for it to grow into a good relationship, it's only common sense to do everything possible to impress the lady and make her comfortable.

Even if I'm not to dinner with a lady, I still try to be polite. I hold doors open for people, for example. It's standard politeness. In fact, I don't discriminate...I do things like that for anyone--man, woman, or child!

I am not native to North America, but women in my native country typically expect polite behavior from the men. For example, I know that some people in Canada pay their own separate bills from dinner; most Russian women who I kow would find this unacceptable. I insist on paying regardless of where I am--none of this nonsense about splitting the dinner bill. It's just simple courtesy!

I am also appalled by this lack of politeness and courtesy. It's an epidemic! As I say, I may have different views on how much courtesy to practice because of where I grew up, but I think that courtesy should at least be practiced--there are too many situations in which courtesy is not even thought of!

Answer 4

We also had fewer rights and were treated as second-class citizens.

I'd rather know I'm on equal footing and having a good time with someone than have them blow a bunch of money trying to get me into bed(that IS their goal, you know). The flowers and stuff is all a facade anyway.

I appreciate chivalry to a point, until they get in my way. There's a fine line between chivalry and sexism.

If they show up for a prearranged meal to a fancy restaurant looking like Joe Dirt, you might be dealing with someone who'd just as much go shoot rats at the dump (don't knock it 'till you've tried it) as blow his check on a french restaurant.
Maybe you should be dating older guys.

Answer 5

They probably feel that it would not be worth the trouble because men would not take them seriously. I think the reason alot of people are seriously considering Hilary Clinton is because she was married to a great president, and therefore has some experience. also she was a senator. America is the land of the free, but it is one of the most sexist and racist countries in the world. It must be difficult for a woman to even consider the thought. Also, It wasn't that long ago that women were allowed to vote, let alone run for president.

Answer 6

I hate to answer a quest with a quest but what does “treating a woman right” get you? I know I’m over stating things but isn’t true that often girls/women don’t go for the nice guy but for someone more obnoxious or unreliable. I don’t think that guys see “treating a woman right” as always a good strategy.

However, it is a must do strategy for husbands. Women may not pick guys who “treat a woman right” but that’s what they want in a BF/Husband.

Answer 7

I agree, chivalry is dead and it's really sad. Back in our parents days, there were more positive influences and high standards of respect for people in general. Now you have the negative influences of TV, movies, music, music videos and horrible home environments that are playing a huge part in the downfall of society. Now its cool to treat a lady like crap and it's cool to not do the romantic things like bring flowers etc. But women are putting up with it so the men continue to do this.

Now days you have to demand the respect from men and tell them what you want and what you expect instead of just assuming them to already already know how to treat a lady. Be assertive and let them know what you expect. That way you will weed out the ones who are not into being a gentleman to you.

Answer 8

I think it goes both ways . Young ladies don't comand better actions from them because they just except what little attention that they get from guys today .
I understand exactly what you are saying . I also think the women should not be so egar to jump into relationships and sex with these men who are not putting forth any effort to make them feel special in any way .
Why purchase the cow { or even bid for it } if it is handed to you !
It would be so refreshing to see things turn around , I believe in the old values , at least to some extent .

Answer 9

I think guys r just getting fed up with women being overly demanding.....making them jump thru hoops.....to many expect a guy to chase them, wine them dine them & give little in return other than the possibility of getting some. I've even heard some girls say things like: "if you won't take care of me someone else will"
There is also the possibility that u r just meeting the wrong kind of guy, or u may be giving them some kind of feed back that makes them think u r so laid back that stuff isn't important to u.

Answer 10

I agree and disagree.
Most men of the time dont have any charm or class .They have forgotten how a woman likes to be treated and feel yhey dont have to be anything but there to win a womans affection.
These are " boys " .
thats where i agree
I disagree because then there are men who have been there done that and the fear of rejection makes trhe shy away from what they know is right to do .
Men are human we just dont act like it all the time and somtimes we forget what its like to be wowed as well.