Im 26 and have never been with a woman. Im not a freak or something, I just have spent most of my life working to have a better life than what I started with. My question is If I find the right woman someday soon should I tell her this upfront? Would this disturb her ? Would you be bothered by a man telling you this ?
2006-09-17 14:55:57 · 25 answers · asked by wrench'n away 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you meet a woman and you tell her your situation upfront, and she runs, she's obviously not the right woman for you. I'd suggest that you don't tell her when on your first date. Get to know her first, and let her get to know you.
The knowledge that you are a virgin could disturb her, but that's a reflection on her, not you. I'd be happy to meet a man who hadn't been around the block in a taxi. I'd be more surprised than bothered, really.
There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. You should be proud of that, and happy that you put your life in order before sex. Don't beat yourself up because you chose to wait for the right person. I'm proud of you, even if no one else is. {applause, applause, applause!! :) }
2006-09-17 15:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My b/f is 24 and was a virgin until that age. No, there is nothing wrong with that and yes I do think that if it comes up you should tell the woman you are with the truth. You are not alone, there are a lot of people who are older and virgins and have the same fear.
It didn't bother me that my b/f was a 24 year old virgin, I was actually pleased because I didn't feel like I was meaningless to him and I felt closer to him when we did have sex.
If the girl is turned off or is disturbed by this information, then she is probably not for you. If you fall in love and want to be with her then she will most likely be understanding and respect your decision to remain a virgin until then. I think that you should only talk about it if it's brought up, don't just make it the first point of coversation though.
2006-09-17 22:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by goldfish65398 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We would think right off that your lying, but I can respect that, it should make the woman feel special knowing that.
You really would have to be honest and either she can roll with it or simply she's not the one for you. You need a life partner that is going to be willing to understand the man you are. It might be right on point, like you haven't missed a beat. trust your heart.. but never build your relationships on lies. Keep it real.. I wish you the best now stop working so hard and enough life just a tad bit.. am sure we all will like a follow-up.. Did you find a woman that will stand by you and not what you can and can't do
2006-09-17 22:04:50 · answer #3 · answered by M M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be upfront with her. I dont think it would disturb her at all, though it would depend on the girl. Dont tell her unless youre sure you want to pursue something with her, otherwise some girls could see you as some sort of personal conquest (I know were bitches). I am 24, and until about 4 months ago, I was a virgin, and I was completely upfront with my now boyfriend about it. I know its different when girls are virgins, but honestly, I think girls like it more when a guy is still "pure". Dont give it to anyone ok? Make sure your first is special and you can remember it for the rest of your life. I know that sounds girly, but hey, youve waited this long right??
2006-09-17 22:01:07 · answer #4 · answered by bandcamp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, this wouldn't bother me. In fact I kindda wish my partner and I had never had partners before we meet. The fact that you're waiting till you find the right girl first. It'll make you a better partner because you wont have all the baggage or expection that other guys have. You'll also have learned how to deal with women on a more emtion and phycological level. I wouldn't tell her on the first date, wait until things have heated up that way, but befor you do the deed. I would advise you to stay way from all the "extras" to fill your time. I find those guys treat women better than the ones who partake in the nasty. Good luck, sweetie, you'll find someone who appreciates a good man soon.
2006-09-17 22:05:56 · answer #5 · answered by PasoBrio13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how close you get to the woman. It's not something you should tell her immediately, but once you've got to know her and get to the point where you want to have sex, I think it'll be appreciated more if you told her, especially if anything goes wrong the first time (premature ejaculation usually). If the woman responds badly then she's not the one for you. I think most women would find it quite sweet actually. My best male friend is 32 and still a virgin, merely because he is very moralistic and hasn't found the right woman yet, and I found it rather endearing when he told me.
2006-09-17 22:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by pniccimiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be upfront. I would rather a man tell me this than tell me he had been with more women than he could count. If she is the right person for you, then she will be honored to hear this, if not, then you just found out she wasn't the right one after all. You sound like a very well rounded man with a good head on his shoulders. Good luck to you.
2006-09-17 22:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by mom of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't care whether a man is a virgin or not...it doesn't really matter either way...you can always learn and who better to teach you than the first person that you are with. The only problem with deflowering a virgin is that they mistake sex for love in a lot of occasions...so the main thing is to make sure that you are both on the same page and want the same thing before the sex and after the sex.
2006-09-17 21:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by Natty137 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone tells me their financial qualifications to me right away I start to back away because that's not my intentions in a relationship but their alot of women out their that that really matters as to how a man will take care of her. That is grounds for running! But maybe that is what you want is high maintenance type of women. I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I like to take care of myself and have my own money! I don't want to be under the Tierney of any man for any reason. Its nicer that way.
2006-09-17 22:03:44 · answer #9 · answered by soniaatcalifornia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think she'd really care if she cared a lot about you. It doesn't matter if you've been with someone or not. As long as your a good guy and treat her well. If shes worth your time she'll understand, and stick by you. It wouldn't be werid to hear that at all, its kind of cool. Knowing a guy cared more about having a good life then being a hoe or something.
2006-09-17 21:59:59 · answer #10 · answered by sncannon86 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋