my nephew who is 16 has almost total kidney failure, his skin has started to turn brown, he is very swollen feet, back, stomach, tongue, gums,etc. he is throwing up most foods, coughing all the time, sleeps a ton, hospice has told my sister is time to think about telling his younger brothers what is happening. How much time do we have. He is just suffering, I hate to see it. I am so worried that it is just days, that he has left, he is cold alot of the time. I don't want him to suffer, but I am so not ready to let him him go yet. He has not been told that he is dying, although I am certainly sure he knows that something is terribly wrong. My sister has not asked hospice how long, I don't think she wants the answer. They just said they didn't think it would go this fast. What does that mean?? Can anyone help me with an answer. Thanks. My heart is breaking. His wish was to Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen and I wrote them twice and never got a response. I makes me so sad, they couldn't help.
2006-09-17 13:40:27 · 14 answers · asked by lillostgirl41 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
Hospice probley won't say anything not even a opinion everyone is differant I can't see him but if he is still consious and is not in total failure you have more time. I am sure he knows but maybe you should talk to him about it. Yes this a very sad time for all. Please send as much time as possible holding his hand and talk with him. I am surprised they are not giving him morphine for the pain. He will sleep a lot but when he wakes talk wiht as much as possible read him a story smile and laughter is good for both of you. To help ease some the suffering try small sips of water even baby food and small amount of food will ease some of the pain do not fource just a little at a time. Ask nurse about morhpine that will ease the large pains as his body shuts down. No one ever likes to let go and we can never know exactly when god will take him some days look worse than others but it sounds like he has'nt slipped into the coma stage yet so it could be a few days or weeks. I can't tell not knowing his vitals. You may have a moment where he is wide awake and looking good take advantage and enjoy that moment it will be one to look back on later. The hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love dyeing but its even harder to not be there and wish you were. Death from kidney failure is defiantly hard to be around I know I took care of my grandma who actully lasted about 4 weeks at home while we all took care of her. I remeber one day she woke up good as new and she had gotten a letter from Germany non of us could read it. I got her glass she read her letter with a smile knowing that here wedding present she sent a couple months back was received and appricated and to see her smile and talking one last time meant the world to me. The next few weeks we only had seconds of response but i will never forget that ten minutes i gave her and the life time memory she gave me of one last smile. Love and live now. God loves us all and has a reason for everything. Leave no regreats now enjoy what time you have left.
My prayers go with you
PS: It would be nice if movie stars could be found at time like these but you need to be his movie stars now.
2006-09-17 14:19:37 · answer #1 · answered by ANGLE4U 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-17 19:52:40 · answer #2 · answered by Angelina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-23 23:04:23 · answer #3 · answered by Helen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. My beloved 19 year old cat Stickers was diagnosed with kidney failure before she was 16 years of age. She showed no pain and was a loving as ever. Towards the end, she started to lose her balance and just didn't act like her contented self. I could tell that it was time. I cried so hard when I took her to the vet. I stayed with her when the procedure was done, scratching her neck and telling her that I loved her. She died with dignity and not in excruciating pain. Constipation is one of the signs of kidney failure. Ask the vet if he can suggest something to soften her bowel movements. I am so sorry that this is happening. It is difficult but remember all the love you have given her and all the love she has returned. Let her live out her life as long as she is not in pain. You may have a few more years to enjoy her company. One never knows. How fortunate that we have had the opportunity to have that special love and devotion of a pet.
2016-03-27 06:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your nephew is in a hospice he would be receiving pain control medication.
They may have an idea that it is close but no one can pin point the actual time.
Your nephew would know within himself.
As for sleeping most of the time the deep sleep is quite a peaceful sleep.
Quite often what happens in situations like this everyone thinks that they are protecting each other by not talking about it.
It is better to talk about it and all face it together instead of the one who is about to leave going through it on his own.
Cry together talk together love each other .
Let him know that the love you all share is not leaving his love will still be here with you and your love will still be be alive in his soul.
Prayers are with you all John 3:16 .
Take care!
2006-09-17 14:59:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your nephew. But if he's been referred to hospice that means he's dying. That's what they do, provide support for dying people. They are really a great organization. They were very helpful when my husband died from colon cancer which spread to his liver. But being that your nephew is only 16 there is nothing the hospice or doctors can tell him without the parents consent. Have lots of patience with them, they are probably struggling really hard with this and can't tell him. But spirituality and death are very strange. I'd bet he knows and is dealing in his own way. Just be there to support him. Talk to him and let him know you love him and if he chooses not to fight anymore it's ok. Offer him that peace he's seeking about now. You be encouraged. I'm praying for you. This is one of those battles in life that has no easy answer. You just have to take each moment as it comes. Be blessed!
2006-09-17 16:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by ophelia52000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why hasn't someone told this young man he is dying? I'm very surprised the hospice nurse or MSW has not encouraged his parents to talk with him. A dying person has a lot of mental and spiritual work to do before they pass away. Please, someone tell him! Death is only sad for the ones left behind. Use this time to make memories with this young man. Someday soon this will bring you and the rest of the family peace.
Why isn't the hospice nurse doing something for his pain and nausea? There are many wonderful meds on the market today.
This breaks my heart! I have been a hospice nurse for 7 years and I tell my patient that I can't take your disease away, but I can keep you pain and symptom free.
2006-09-17 13:48:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
is he still on dialysis, is he waiting for a kidney transplant? usually for someone with kidney failure , if u stop dialysis, it takes a week to a month before he dies, if his doctor said he's terminal, its about time to discuss it with the whole family in the presence of either a hospice nurse, or a social worker to answer questions from the younger siblings if theres any.
2006-09-17 14:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't just sit around and do nothing like my doctors suggested.
They didn't want me to do anything or to take herbs or herbal remedies, but I had to try something - they just wanted me to do dialysis!
This program allowed me to take control of my health. I went from Stage 4 to Stage 3 kidney disease.
It was easy to do and my BUN, creatinine and anemia are all in better ranges.
Reversing Your Kidney Disease?
2016-05-14 18:54:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be any day now. I am sorry you are going through all of this. Usually once the toxicity begins it could be a few weeks or less. My sympathies go out to all of you!
Prayers your way!
2006-09-17 14:09:46 · answer #10 · answered by giggling.willow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋