i am 27 and she is 18?

Question

i have just met this girl who is 18 years old. she is so funny, clumsy and sweet. her physical body is everything i have always wanted and her personality is realy cool and enthusiastic. the problem is i am in a relationship with someone, actually we been together for a year plus. i love my girl but she wants to get married and have kids by next year but i aint feeling it. for starters she has no drive, no aspirations, and no enthusiasm to do stuff. the girl i jus met is wat i always wanted but i don know wat to do. on one hand my dream girlfrend, on the other a commited relationship. please help me

by the way the 18 year old girl has been in so many relations but she said she always gets cheated on. she had almost given up on love till she met me

Answer 1

OHHHH lord nooo. Live life to the fullest before you become an old fart please. DO wants right for you and go with the new girl who has somehting coming for her

Answer 2

Do what your heart tells you to do.

I understand that you are confused but since you have only been in the committed relationship for 1yr + then I think if you want out, now is the time if any. 5-10 years from now leaving your committed relationship will be harder to do because you will have invested so much.

Also consider this, you are 27 and she is 18 - 9 years age difference. I would definitely take a moment and re-group. With such a significant age difference sometimes comes problems with what you DON'T have in common no matter how much you are attracted to each other or like each other at the beginning. AND since she is 18, where does she see herself in a few years? There is so much that she hasn't experienced yet, remember when you were that age. People change alot between the ages of 18-27, so really consider that. She might decide that by the time she is 27 and you are 36 that you are too damn old and boring for her. Just think about the future before you leap.

Answer 3

The thing is, you've been in this committed relationship for a while and on some level you had to know your girl wasn't all you thought she was. Why did you even hang on this long? And in the eyes of an 18 year old, the future looks bright of course because she is young and has the world by the tails. I would strongly weigh your options and figure out what is best for you than just funny and sweet. Does this young woman have any goals or aspirations? What is she doing to achieve them? How would her plans fit into your life? Are YOU doing anything about your goals? If you can answer these questions honestly, then you'll know what to do. But be honest with your girl now and let her know that you aren't ready for a family so there will be no hurt feelings in the long run. Honesty is key here. Even if you decide to end it with her, then let her know it's because you don't feel she's motivated enough and you aren't ready to have a family with someone who won't even do anything to help support that family. Good luck.

Answer 4

The age difference isn't the issue - nine years is nothing. If she was 25 and you were 34, I'd say go for it. I'm only concerned that she is very young, but I guess it all depends how mature you are! And considering what you say about your current girlfriend, I have to wonder.

If you've only been together a year, you ought to be still starry-eyed in love with this woman. If you're already noticing her faults, then it's only going to get worse. Things you think you can live with now, will become real obstacles later on. If you let it slide until you're married with two kids, it will be nasty and expensive to get out of.

In my view, it's cowardly to stay in a relationship until something better comes along. What you are doing, is using the woman you're with as a convenience - and meanwhile, she's wasting time on you when she could be out looking for someone new.

So regardless of whether you take up with this 18yo or not, you need to break up with your girlfriend. Do the decent thing and set her free to find her husband and have those babies.

Answer 5

First off, no one should ever feel obligated or entitled to do something they do not really want to do. You g/f basically gave you an ultimatum, she wants to settle down with a husband (you) and have children...as you mentioned, you are not ready for that. She on the other hand IS ready! You need to leave the relaionship, break it off because at the end when all is said and done you are only hurting her and yourself. You have met someone you can see yourself in the near future, I say pursue it only if it is what you really want. Go for it. Don't stay in in a relationship just because you've been with that person for an X amount of time. You need to be happy and if you are not happy, your spouse will not be either and the realtionship will go down the toilet, it's already flushing since you are involving yourself for someone else. I was 18 when I met this 27 year old man, funny how similar your situation is with mine. I decided to stay with my b/f instead of going for the new guy and it did not go well since I was always thinking about this other man. Our relationship failed and I regretted not doing what I really wanted to do. So what I'm saying is: sit down with your girlfriend and have an opened conversation; BE honest. 'Honesty is the right policy.' Think really hard before making any actions. Do you really want to end the relationship for someone else? Is it worth it? Do you love your g/f? Can you see yourself loving that new girl? Is it just lust/infatuation or could it be more? Are you willing to end your long-term relationship with no regrets? Isn't the feelings you have for this new girl the same feeling you had when you met your g/f for the first time? Is she mature enough? Remember you are a lot older than she is although she is legal, keep in mid the age difference. What do YOU really want to do? That is what is key here....Make the right choice, therefore, there will not be any regrets later. You mentioned that she's been cheated on several times before she met you and now she's inlove with you...could it be a rebound situation for her? A desperation for love? Do you know her well enough? Don't try to make someone happy, try to make yourself happy. Ask yourself these questions.Think smart! Good luck!

Answer 6

I have been in exactly the same situation. When my third wife was my girl friend, She was 18 and I was 29.

She found me perfect for her and she was an exceptional beauty. She was a living fantasy for me. She would light up like a Christmas tree when I picked her up.

Her Mom was 12 years older than I and her Mom stimulated my mind, while she did not.

Needless to say we broke up and both married other people. Both of our marriages went sour.

She was living in Kansas , while I was in New Jersey.

10 years had passed and we started our romance again and we married, it only lasted 4 months.

We both became something else.

It is fine to get engaged , make it a long one. Sex aside, make sure you have things in common and feel comfortable with each other because in time that will be all you have.

Good luck

Answer 7

I think that you shouldn't be in a relationship w/ this girl your w/ now. If you already know that she's not the one for you. Let her move on so she can have what she wants w/ someone who wants the same thing. Don't string her along.
And for this 18 yr. old. I don't think that age is really a factor. If you like her then go for it. But just to warn you. A lot of 18 yr. olds are spunky. Us girls change a lot from 17 to 23. I know people are always changing... but i mean we change A LOT!!! So just becareful. But have fun while your still young.

Answer 8

And within a month the 18 year old will want a committed relationship. Is the 18 year old in college? If so, it will be four years before she is available anyway, and she will change at college.
In any case, it is best to break with the current girlfriend, whether you pursue the 18 year old or not.

Answer 9

You say you love the "dream" girlfriend but you only stated negative things about her. That's not love, buddy!
Do her a favor and break up with her. She could do a lot better with someone else who is more mature.

I do pity the 18 y/o youngster if you get involved with her. Are you absolutely sure she is really 18? She might be jail bait.

Answer 10

First of all, you are with someone that you obviously don't want to be with, so you need to get out of that relationship. Make sure you get out of that relationship BEFORE you start dating someone else, because then they will always wonder if you're going to cheat on them. Yout don't want to set a precedence for your entire relationship. You have to do this with integrity, or you will make an *** out of yourself.

Now, you asked about the age issue. It really does depend on the maturity of both of you. Personally, I think she's too young, but that's just my opinion. I don't know her or you, so I think it's something that only you are going to be able to answer. However, I think the fact that you are asking us here on Yahoo questions means that you think something is wrong with it. Good luck!

Answer 11

If you have found your dream girl what's the problem, your since of duty to your old girl? So you get married and your miserable. Or on the other hand you start dating the young girl and you have a ball! Sounds like a no brainer to me!!It's only a nine year difference, don't listen to the people who don't know jack and tell you your too old! Only you know how you feel!