Potty Taining!! HELP!?

Question

My stepson is 3. He lets us know when he has to go #1, but he keeps messing his pants with #2. Any advice.... Q2. if he does mess his pants do we punish him? if so, how?

Answer 1

Give him an incentive for when he goes #2 in the potty....and when he tries to sneak and do it (my son would hide in the corner or behind the couch) pick them up in mid-strain and take him to the bathroom and sit him on the potty until he does it. Then when he does you make a HUGE deal out of it, like u won a million dollars, then he'll be so excited that you're excited (and he gets his reward) that he'll be more inclined to do it. Good luck, you'll need it! ;-)

Answer 2

wow!!!! you sure just brought back a lot of awful memories for me. Do Not Punish!!! Reward when he does good though

My youngest son (who is 17 now) didn't stop going #2 in his pants til he was 5. I can really empathize with you on this one. You feel so helpless likes it's never going to end, I thought I'd be washing training pants with a hose forever. Does he mess in his pants because he's just to busy to stop playing and go potty? It takes a lot more time to go #2 and my jeremy just didn't want to take the time, there was no fun in it for him. He'd hold it forever then it would just happen, Do you know the approx time of day he usually goes then you could just sit him on the potty with a toy, a book or a coloring book even if you have to do it a couple times for the first week or so. it's a inconvenient but if you commit yourself and stay consistant he'll catch on.

Answer 3

Don't punish him. One of my kids had this problem, for about a year actually. I would get on to her, but not punish her. Just basically telling her that it was yucky and stinky. So I just basically kept an eye on her and the timing from one to another so I would kind of know when to expect one. She was scared to do it in the potty. I also would reward her with m&m's when I would catch her and race her to the potty. Sometimes that made her stop all together, other times she would go ahead and do it in the potty. Don't punish him tho. Boys are harder to train than girls and some boys are 5 before they have it all down.

Answer 4

As preschool teacher I've dealt with this one a lot... I don't do any disciplining, just say "uh oh, we better get cleaned up!" in a positive tone. I just go with them into the bathroom and let them take off the poopy pants themselves, dump the poo in the toilet, put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag and wipe themselves as best they can. If needed, I do a second wipe. After a couple weeks of having to take so much time away from play to change and clean themselves up, they decide on their own that it's much easier to go in the toilet. Some children have a certain time they tend to go each day, so if you can sit them on the potty before it happens, that helps. Just try not to say anything negative, the work they have to do to clean up the poopy pants is enough.

Answer 5

What ever you do don't punish him it will only make things worse and give him a complex. Just keep on trying, I know it is hard. Have patience and make sure you make a big deal on the times he does do #2 in the potty.
My son would hide some times under the kitchen table and do it in his pamper and then take it off and leave it there. Funny now! Not so funny when it is happening.
Don't worry he is almost there. Count to ten, breath deeply(not near the poo of course)
Good luck.

Answer 6

He needs to achieve one success with a b.m. no matter how hard it is for you, then it should get easier. I would keep him naked at home, follow him CLOSELY until you know a b.m. is coming (if he's "regular" that should help you predict), then grab him and make him sit on the potty. Bribe him to stay there at all costs--candy, read him a book, etc--until the poop comes out. Then heap on the praise. Hopefully once he's done it once he'll realize it's no big deal. Big prizes like a candy bar or toy don't hurt either :)

Answer 7

Is there any High School Kid that you know of still in Diapers??? Just give him time.... When he starts becoming interested in the POTTY..... Then start showing him what to do and just praise him for wanting to learn more about it.... Just keep telling him that BIG BOYS use the BIG BOY potty!!!

Answer 8

Sometimes little boys are much slower than girls, but, I can tell you that leaving the diaper completely off, where he can be watched closely through the day, works well.Usually only takes one or two days of him running free helps the idea to sink in. I would not suggest punishing him.

Answer 9

Well hang him over the toilet and see what happens.. Ask every 30 minuites if he has to go. If yes, then pick him up and run to the bathroom! No don't punish him..He'll cry and wet himself anyways.

Answer 10

Wet training goes faster than poo training, partially because naturally we urinate more often than defecate. At 3, he's not that unusual. I've potty trained 6 kids, and although I can't promise my way will work, I can say it's worked well for me and mine. First off, make sure he isn't constipated. That sounds crazy, but if it hurts him to go he may just put it off as long as he can. Once you are sure that isn't a problem, you can start working on the rest. Get rid of the pull-ups and invest in the appropriate size ugly white thick trainer pants, and some really cool undershorts- let him pick them out if you can. Those become the reinforcements. Now, when he dresses the first day, put him in the ugly pants. Explain that when he goes say three or four days without a mess, he can earn a pair of the nice shorts. If and when the accident occurs, don't make a big deal of it. Escort the young man to the bathroom, and have him clean himself up. Use baby wipes as needed- but let him do the work. Once he is clean, provide a new pair of ugly shorts. Then present him with the messy shorts and a bucket of nice warm soapy water. Inform him that the mess is his to clean up, as you can't wash them in the present condition. Let him get right in there and scrub them up, wring them out, and carry them to the washer. Then back to empty the bucket into the toilet and wash his hands, and any other mess/splatters/splashes he made. He won't care for it, no more than you do- but after all it is his mess, not yours. He picks up his toys, and this is just another of his messes he needs to clean up after. Nothing ugly, nothing to make him feel ashamed, no power struggle.
After a day of clean, make a note of it with some praise- words and not candy. That's just a bribe, and if he quits getting candy, he'll likely revert. If you have chart for stickers, put a sticker on for the one day. Put on the chart a note for the day he earns a pair of "big boy shorts". If he makes it, present them when he dresses for the day, and make a nice remark about his efforts paying off. If he messes those up, just go through the clean up routine, but the next pair are the uglys. With mine, unless I was doing the wash, they would be stuck another three days to earn another pair of the nice ones. Otherwise, the nice shorts went on first, and then got replaced with the ugly thick ones. After a week of this routine, mine usually got the message. By the time they had earned the entire pack of 6 shorts (or panties- works for girls too), it was a habit and we had no problems. From then on, if they had an accident, it was not a big deal- but they did the clean up. As they find the smell pretty disgusting and the idea of touching it repulsive, they are usually pretty motivated to change. Mine would object that I should do it, as I was mom. I told them it wasn't my poo in their pants, and if they didn't want to touch it, what made them think it was any more pleasant for me? My second son got a little more creative, and after a day he decided to hide them. When I found them, I picked them up with a metal tong and took them too him. Then we did the cleanup routine, which was a bit harder as things had dried a bit. I didn't let them take the shorts to the washer until all "material" was removed. He repeated the hiding a second time, except when I caught up with him, he was playing outside with siblings and neighborhood children. I marched out to the sandbox, shorts in tongs, and removed him to the house. He found the laughter embarassing, and never repeated the hiding again. Come to think of it, I think that was the last accident as well.
Don't punish him at all. That just opens up a power struggle, because they are smart enough to know you can't really make them "go" on command, and are quite capable of going when they choose to in order to get back at you. This way, you aren't making new rules- if you already require him to help pick up his toys- you are just reinforcing a rule already in place- that you clean up your own messes. Since the consequence is unpleasant, it won't take long for him to decide to do things the easier way. Also, keep baby wipes handy by the toilet for self cleaning after the paperwork is done. It's easier for the little ones (and big ones) to do a better cleaning job- and saves a lot of laundry stains!