Should children share ALL of their toys?

Question

My 2 1/2 year old has 2 toys that she won't share with anyone. My fiance and I have agreements about it because he thinks she should have to share those 2 toys with her sister. Her sister has a babydoll that she doesn't like to share. My question is, do you feel that children are entitled to have a favorite toy or 2 that you shouldn't fdorce them to share? they share everything else though.

I meant we have disagreements abotu it...lol sorry.

Answer 1

I think that each child should learn to share most things. Everyone needs something that is special to them. I bet you don't want to have to share everything with your kids and your husband. You may have a special paint brush, or photo album, or make up that you don't want your kids to have free access too (they could tear it up) They need to each have a couple of things that is just theirs.

Most things they need to share. If they start to fight over stuff, put the item into time out until they quit fighting. The special item should always be off limits to the other child unless granted access.

The main thing I tell my children is that if they have a special item that they don't want to share at play dates, then it needs to stay at home or in the car. Maybe special items that they don't want to share with siblings should stay in the their room or their beds.

Good luck with your great parenting :)

Answer 2

You are right. Let her have some things that are only hers. A lot of parents expect their child to share but do you? It’s hard to share! Would you loan your neighbor your new dress or car? What if you were forced? How would you feel? It's essentially the same thing for children when it comes to their prized possessions. They don't want to share them either! If you force your child to share, it will only cause anger and resentment. Sharing is something that should come from the heart. I teach preschool and in my classroom this is what works. A child can use something for as long as they want. When they put it away another child can use it. The children understand the ways of our classroom and accept this. You can talk to your children in ways so that they can see another child’s point of view. "It looks like Emma really likes your toy. I bet she would like to play with it too. Maybe when you're finished she can play with it." These words may help your child empathize with the other child and they may share. Have your child pick out some things that they are willing to share and put away the things they do not want to share. Remember not to force it. Let it come from the heart. Good luck!

Answer 3

Dott even expect your children under three to share at all. They have no concept of other people's feelings at this age.. after that age, teach your children how to respectfully ask another child to share a toy and to take good care of that toy while it's in their possession.

Teach your children about the benefits of sharing. explain to them that they just have the toy, but if they share the toy, they have both a toy and a friend.

If your children fight with someone else over a possession, don't take sides.. either don't interfere at all, or, if the noise level bothers you, take it away from both of them until they work things out.

Answer 4

I agree that everyone, kids included, have a right to have a few things that are special to them that they don't have to share. It makes it easier to learn to share the other things if they get to hold back on that something special.

Be careful of how you phrase this to the child, however. When my son was little and had a friend coming over, I told him he could put the toys that were special to him in the closet. When I came up to his room later to check on him I discovered he had put ABSOLUTELY EVERY TOY HE OWNED in the closet. I wanted to roll on the floor laughing! Instead, we had to talk about what was REALLY special and take some toys out of their hiding place.

Sharing is great but kids shouldn't feel they have to give up everything. It's too hard for them. Heck, it's too hard for grownups.

Answer 5

Hi. Almost every child has their favorites, often called their "lovies," whether it be a doll, stuffed animal, or blanket, etc. These are typically a source of comfort and security for a child. If this is the case with your daughter, then I would definitely recommend letting her be. Also, children need to realize that not everything can or should be shared. Ask your husband if he would want one of the girls to be at the playground and expect to "share" another child's pacifier or juice cup. Dolls and blankets carry germs with them. Even toys in a group setting- I would not want my 15 month old to share a toy another child just had in his/her mouth! Also, a toy your daughter may want to share with another may not be appropriate for her age. As long as your daughter generally shares well with direction, then she will be fine. Good luck!

Answer 6

I agree with a lot of the good answers here...no, they should not have to share all their toys. as long as they share well otherwise, there is no need. i also went one step further to 'protect' their special possessions, and avoid squabbles. when the door was open to siblings, or if they had friends coming over, i'd ask her to put away a few things that she may not want to share. out of sight, out of mind.. prevents any fights over the object. most humans don't share everything, and not everything should be shared. forcing a child to share a special object is in effect 'stealing' from her...and that's just teaching your child to take things from others. but remember to tell the child that not everything can be special..lol..i had to remind the younger one about that a few times :-)

Answer 7

I don't think you should force them to share everything. The fact that they share all but one or two toys (especially at that age is great). After all if you had a favorite outfit or piece of jewelry would you want to share it. I know I share several things, but a couple of things I wouldn't share for sentimental reasons. If something happened to it while I did not have it I would be devastated.

Answer 8

No, they should not. If they have a special toy or two, this is their security, just as a blanket can be special. Sharing these special items should not ever be expected because the children feel that these items are a part of them, kind of like we feel about our own bed, toothbrushes, makeup, razors, etc. We have certain things we don't want to share for our own personal reasons, just as children do.

Answer 9

Yeah, she shouldn't have to share those 2 with anyone. That's like sharing your favorite thing with someone.....do u do that? I sure *** heck don't. Some things I don't want anyone else to mess up. Anything I don't care that much for, go for it.....if her little sis messes her 2 favs up she'll be very upset and hurt. And please don't think that they don't know or they don't remember at that age. My son, who is five now, can tell you what toys he had in his crib, what was his favorite toy his grandmother gave him when he was 2, and what I wore the day of my graduation when he was 3. Good luck to ya, I hope this helps!

Answer 10

every kid needs that special toy thats only thiers. SOmething they can call thier own.

If they share everything else fine, let them have the special toy. Just be careful where they take it, because some places/parents/schools may not understand the child not wanting to share that toy, and they will get upset when other kids play with it.