Should I have to reimburse my girlfriend for throwing out her inappropriate CD's?

Question

Well, I went through my girlfriend's CD's the other day and I found about 12 CD's that were inappropriate for her to listen to. Some included songs with foul language and lyrics about sleeping around. I told her this was crap and broke them in half and threw them in the trash. She started crying and saying that some of those were her favorites. I told her that she needed to change her listening habits and if i found her listening to the gangsta rap station I would disconnect and take away her car radio for a month. Her friend was there and called me some names and told me that I had to pay for those CD's. Should I? I feel that she shouldn't have had those in the first place.

Answer 1

You're not her parent; you have no right to choose what she does or doesn't listen to.
You might think you're doing the right thing, but you aren't, not even for your self. The day will come when she grows up (and that's assuming she hasn't already) and decides she doesn't want to have you telling her what she can and can't do. So if you don't want her to walk, you better start treating her as an equal and with respect, or one day you might find yourself looking for someone else's CD's to throw out.
And yes, you should refund her money. I don't know where you live, but here in the USA, what you did is called a crime. I doubt you'd go to jail or anything like that, but if you consider yourself a moral person, then you should respect the law.

Answer 2

Whoa. I am not sure how your mind works, and I assume you are trying to do the right thing, but answer me this: If she did that to you, how would you feel? Is it okay for her to trash your things if she doesn't like or agree with them? You don't think that is waaaay over the line? You made her CRY??? Jeez. That is pretty mean. You have zero right "taking away" or causing damage to or causing destruction of someone else's stuff. Are you serious??? You can certainly share you opinions and feelings, and let her know you don't like or approve, but you could go to JAIL for what you did. You can't bully people into living how you want them to. She can listen to whatever music she wants to. She can dress how she likes, go where she likes, say what she likes, etc. because we live in America and that's how it is here. Just because you don't like it, it does not give you the right to be abusive and cruel, not to mention break the law. If she called the police, you would have to pay for the CD's and would be on probation or in jail. If she took you to court, same plan. What in the world gave you an idea that breaking someone else's stuff was okay? What gave you the right to think you can tell people what to do??? If you and she don't share similiar values or ideals it would be more a better plan to find someone who shares your mindset than for you to abuse another human being you supposably love, don't you think? Whew. Please see a counselor if this is typical of your behavior. Like I said you have rights, but you cannot step on other's. You won't get the kind of girl you want or the live you should have treating people that way. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Ummmm ..... okay, this is a situation I haven't exactly heard of before. Number one, you are not her father. You can not tell her to do one thing or the other. Taking away a car radio for a month? What are you, grounding her? If you vandalized her property and broke her CDs, then yes, I feel like you should pay for them. I understand that you don't want her listening to that kind of stuff, I personally am not a fan of rap and would not like it if my boyfriend was always listening to it. However, everyone is different and has their own preferences. If she likes it, she is allowed to listen to it. You can voice your concerns about how it bothers you but you have to remember that this is her and she can like what ever she wants. If you have a major problem with it than you can ask for her not to listen to it around you or you can just break up with her if it bothers you so much. HOWEVER, again, you can not be breaking or taking away her stuff. That is her stuff and can you imagine how you would feel if she did that to you. Yeah, you might say that you don't listen to that crap but you CANNOT be breaking or taking away her stuff. No one ever is allowed to do that unless they are a parent and the child is too young to be listening to it. But a parent shouldn't even be breaking anything. If the child paid for it with their own money and the parent takes it away, the parent should at least let the child replace them with CDs they are allowed to have. Breaking them in half is an act of violence and going through her stuff is a privacy issue. I don't know how your girlfriend is feeling about all of this but if she is crying then she is obviously upset. If you love her and don't want to lose her, I would apologize to her immediately, explain why you don't like her listening to that kind of music but then also make her understand that she is allowed to do what she wants. And yes, I would take her out and replace those CDs if she really wants them back. Because she is going to replace them anyways if she loves them. You breaking them is a little crazy and I hope you realize that. And no, you can't take away her radio. You need to be careful because if she gets sick of you and wants to break up with you, she has grounds to press charges if you are vandalizing her possessions. I know it sounds crazy but you would not win if she wanted to get you in trouble. Good luck and seriously, if you really love her, don't treat her this way.

Answer 4

You shouldnt of got upset about the type of music she listens to most people have a cd for every mood they are in. Most of the time the songs about sleeping around people only like them for the beat even if they would never think of doing what the lyrics say. They will even sing them as if there was nothing wrong with the lyrics cuz to them theres not they are just words.

Would you be happy if she went through your cds and broke your favorite ones? And said you cant listen to a certain type? You would be mad if she did that.

Why does she have to change herself for you? Did you not like her how she was before? You liked her enough to go out with her and she listened to that music. Its not your place to tell her what she should like and not like.

Answer 5

For one thing, are you her boyfriend or her father? You have NO RIGHT to tell her she has no business listening to anything! If those were Cd's that she likes to listen to, so be it, if you don't like the lyrics or whatever, tough. You could have asked her nicely not to listen to them without head phones so you don't have to hear it, but to arbitrarily break them and throw them and and to threaten to take her radio.. Who do you think you are?!?!
You not only owe her the money for the Cd's, you owe her a huge apology for treating her like some third rate human being unable to choose what she wants to listen to. SHAME ON YOU!!!!!
If I was her friend I would tell her to dump you and find a man that knows how to treat women with repect! GOD gave women brains too.

Answer 6

Look, man, I hate "Gangsta Rap" as much as the next person does, but I don't go around & destroy someone else's personal property just because I find it offensive, especially if that person is someone I'm supposed to be in love with.

If you're going around & breaking her stuff & telling her what she can & cannot do, you sound like a very controlling & abusive boyfriend & should be reported to the police for abuse & entrapment.

I have no respect for men who try to dominate & control thier girlfriends or wives for personal gain; I find it disgusting & degrading to both men & women.

Almost as disgusting as the music you are forbidding her to listen to.

Answer 7

Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to decide what she should listen to. Paying for the CDs would not help if I were your girlfriend. I would leave you as quickly as possible. What a controlling jerk.

Answer 8

I would certainly not appreciate my partner listening to that kind of music, BUT...Oh my goodness!! If she is old enough to have a boyfriend, she is most definitely old enough to decide what kind of music she will listen to!! If you can't understand that, maybe there is a bigger problem.
Don't reimburse her, go out and spend your time as well as your money on repurchasing exactly what you have broken. That was not your property, so I guess in a way what you have done is illegal.

Answer 9

First off, I can see your side of the story, of how you believe it's inappropriate, BUT that's not for you to decide. OBVIOUSLY you two have different tastes and OBVIOUSLY she enjoys listening to that type of music so it was WRONG of you to do that to her. You seem a tad bit controlling...(sarcastic) no... YOU ARE CONTROLLING! YOU are not her FATHER, but her boyfriend, so start acting like one!! You are lucky if she forgives you. SO I'D START APOLIGIZING!! You may think that she acted so emotionally over a trivial thing, but have you done something like that before? (i.e.: telling her to change her clothes or look just cuz you don't APPROVE of it??)

Answer 10

What a complete and total di?khead you are! You have absolutely no right to dictate what she listens to. Personally, I don't care for that rap crap, but apparently she does. And you also have absolutely no right to break her CD's. They're hers, and your behaviour is outrageous!!! If it was worth it, she should take you to Judge Judy. She'd not only get the value of her CD's, but also pain and suffering. SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!