I am 28 years old girl. I live in a house close to my mother`s house. When my husband traveled to another country to work, I visited my mother more often. I usually had lunch with her and with family every day. And I spent the rest of the day at my home to study or do the house work. I noticed that my mother is not so happy by my being around so often. She looks glad when I say, well, I am going to leave now! She even said once to me, why are you waisting your time here, don`t you have a job to do?! She does not look so happy when I go to her fridge to have anything to eat!! Although I am gerenous with her, I buy her mother day presents, and I take my little sister out and sepnd money on her. Why does she hate my being around?
N.B: My father likes me alot, he always says to mother I cook better than her. Could this be the reason? I also was a difficult kid when I was a teenage, but not any more. What can I do? I feel so hurt because my mother doesn`t love me, or am I wrong?
2006-09-17 12:34:45 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It would be almost impossible to guess what's really going on here. Resist the urge to retreat or stay away out of hurt and try to deal with it head on if it's important to you. Could you choose a good time to sit with your mom and ask her directly about what's going on (not through your dad, or anyone else)? Tell her about how you've been feeling and what you've noticed (bad idea to say that she has made you feel a particular way - she'll become defensive) and that you'd like to find out how to make things better between you. There could be so much going on. Maybe something's going on in her personal life that has very little to do with you at all. She might be examining her role as a wife and mother and questioning what's next for her. She might be battling some mixed feelings about herself at this stage in her life. Her sense of security and satisfaction in life might not be what they used to be. Then again, her behavior may have everything to do with how she views your relationship. She might feel concerned that when your husband returns, your time together will end, and could be unsure of where she stands in your life now that you are independent. It's hard to know whether she'll be able to articulate these things to you (we aren't always aware of why we behave the way we do), but approach her with an attitude of genuine caring concern and openness and you'll have done your part. Be prepared for whatever might come out of the discussion, good or bad, and commit to doing your part (she has her own) to make your relationship stronger and mutually satisfying. Make regular time to do things together once the air is cleared.Show her your support and appreciation, especially when your dad or others make insensitive comments. It's easy for us to take our loved ones for granted. Hope things get better...
2006-09-17 12:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by semper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would stay away for a while. Let her come to you. Sounds like a bit of jealousy. Take a course at college or join a health club or learn a new hobby. Chances are if you are getting that unhappy feeling from your mother, you are probably right that she is bothered by you. Sorry to be so honest, but I have been there and know how you feel. If you find that she dislikes you, that is HER problem, not yours and do not try to fix it. Try to maintain a relationship with the rest of your family and if they try to butt in, politely tell them that you do not wish to discuss it and it is something that the two of you have to work out.
2006-09-17 19:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by hazeleyedbeauty1967 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would try to stay away for a while. Call your dad up and ask him if he could help you fix something around the house that way you can still se him. I believe when you stop going there she will be curious and ask you why. Then you tell her that you decided to stay away because you feel she doesn't want you around. This will open the doors to communication with her. Good luck.
2006-09-17 19:57:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing much of the situation more then You're writing, it may be a kind of transfere, that is you interpretate all that she does from your mindset.
2006-09-17 19:51:03 · answer #4 · answered by Bo V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom loves you .maybe she just needs some alone time away from you it happens to alot of grown kids
2006-09-17 19:45:06 · answer #5 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋