Well, here is the situation....me, my girlfriend, and my family were out at dinner and then she got a phone call on her cell. She answered it and not only that 30 seconds had gone by and she was still on the phone. At that time I told her to "get off the phone right now - it is very rude to be talking at the table" So she got off the phone and then started crying acting like I embarassed her. I told her not to give me that crying routine because it wasn't going to work and that she was in the wrong. I took her cell phone away and told her she wasn't to have it the rest of the night. Not only that, I wouldn't let her get refills on her tea and so she had to drink the water that came with the meal. I feel that she needs to learn not to talk on the phone at the table and that would teach her a lesson. Later, my mom talked to her privately and told her to leave me because I was controlling. I was thinking whose side is my mom on here?? Did I do the wrong thing??
2006-09-17 12:12:57 · 24 answers · asked by Lucky L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh, you are SOOOOOO controlling! You broke so many rules!
1) It's not your place to determine if she should be talking on the phone during dinner.
2) If you don't like it, you should talk to her quietly in private, and DISCUSS this with her... NOT ORDER HER around!
3) There may have been a reason for her taking the call that you were unaware of.
4)You certainly weren't understanding of her emotional crying by telling her that "routine" wouldn't work!
5) What gives you the right to decide what she should be able to drink????
I definitely agree with your mom. YOU'RE the one that needs to learn the lesson!!!! I'm surprised your girlfriend hasn't left you already. Sounds like it's just a matter of time.
GROW UP and treat people with RESPECT!!!!
2006-09-17 12:20:58 · answer #1 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you could have handle the situation alot differently.
You could have pulled her aside quietly and asked her to turn her phone off during dinner - because it isn't polite.
Did you find out why she was crying? Did the words you used hurt her? Did she just learn her dog died? or what!? Use some consideration with her, goodness!
From my guess, you DID hurt her feelings. It's called verbal abuse - and it's almost worse than physical abuse.
AND...You had no right to not let her get refills on her tea - what was the point in that? To teach her a lesson? Goodness... that was uncalled for. If you did that, you might as well have told her to go to her room without dinner, DAD!
From the sounds of it, you need to learn what the roles are of being a boyfriend to your girlfriend. For one, it's not being a parent - telling her what she can and can't do. If the phone was bothering you, you should have just asked her nicely to turn it off. However, if she felt she needed to leave it on, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!
Your mother knows you best, and I'm glad she voiced her opinion to the poor dear quietly. I hope she takes the advice.
YOU are the one that needs to learn a few lessons.
2006-09-17 19:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK this is from a guys point of view. YES you were wrong in everything you did. Not only did you insult her but you treated her as if she was a child. I hope for her sake that she finds another person who will treat her as an adult and leave your controlling but for somebody else to discover how much growing up YOU need to do and how the correct way to handle situations such as this. I am just glad your mother was smart enough to talk with her and to give her the excellent advise that your own mother gave that should tell you something
2006-09-17 19:25:41 · answer #3 · answered by mr. Bob 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You weren`t just worng,you hurt her aswell!!!!and for this I already hate you,not even knowing it!!!!What was in your mind doing something like that?she is not a dog,to teaach her a lesson,and either your daughter...and if you thought it wasn`t polite,then let her embarress herself,don`t do it yourself!!!that is rude,and I would have left you the very next second.Your mother is right ,and I would have done the same.You don`t disurve her,and trying to controll her,won`t work for a long time...she will be very unhappy,and at a time or another she will leave you!!! Go and say to her that you are sorry,and don`t ever do that again.
If you expect someone to tell you it was right,then expect it to be the answer of a men.put yourself in her situation,and see if you would like her to do the same to you.that`s not the way you should treat the person you love,this is not the way to teach her a lesson!!!and you have no right to do that.this is my oppinion,so if you don`t like it,it is your problem...I cannot belive it,that you wrote this here.don`t ever do that again,if you don`t want to be dumped.
2006-09-17 19:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by donatella 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you are wrong!!! you are very controlling and your mom was right to tell her to dump you!!
It was rude of her to talk on the phone but you should have told her in privet after dinner was over so she would know for the next time.
you cannot say and do those thing to your girlfriend.. she is not your child and that's what you were treating her like. how would you like it if she did that to you?!
2006-09-17 19:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by Greeneyed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm buddy U r not her dad she had a right to talk on the phone even if it was rude I can see if it was a guy but still its her phone and you need to get over ur controling issue.
2006-09-17 19:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by Joanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys need to break up, and you shouldn't date anyone until you get professional help, what you did is abuse, she is not a child you have no right to treat her that way, and your family has issues for allowing you treat her that way, what you did is not okay in public or in the privacy of your own home. your mom was the only one who did the right thing, and if you ever hit her you need to have your penis cut off maybe that will show you that you need to treat women with respect. Your girlfriend should get a restraint order against you too.
2006-09-17 19:25:45 · answer #7 · answered by brneyes23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yea you did!
you should have asked her to plz stoping talk at the dinner table
bu why taker her phone away? its not yours!
and you should have said "dont give me that crying routine" that is rude!
your mom did the right thing.
you sound like a jerk!
you are one of those people who grows up and beats there wives!
2006-09-17 19:18:08 · answer #8 · answered by Paul P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If any of this is real-
1) you can ask someone NICELY to put away the phone
2) you ARE a control freak
2006-09-17 19:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by from HJ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you are too controlling...and yes you did the wrong thing here....
plus you have "hypothetically" asked what to do to make up for hitting one's girlfriend....so i think you may be hitting her too besides just controlling her and destroying her property (the CD's in another question)
this is a very very unhealthy relationship ...for both of you.....
you need to get out and get some help before you enter in another relationship....... before you end up doing something more illegal and more harmful than ripping up CD's......
2006-09-17 20:29:53 · answer #10 · answered by myheartisjames 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋