We call each other very often, my bf is caring & thoughtful, we laugh a lot together, he says very sweet & touching words but I try to conceal my feelings from him a lot: I make him understand that I like him but I pretend to be tough and independent from him mainly b/c I don't want to sound corny or emotionally demanding. How could I overcome this attitude & open up my heart more? (ps: he's cheated on me previously)
2006-09-17 12:02:09 · 16 answers · asked by Emma D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is really the guy I want to grow old with. I am unable to talk with him about how his cheating has hurt me, how devastating it was & I don't even know why I can't express that.
2006-09-17 12:34:23 · update #1
Boy, you are good. I don't give someone a second chance. You are better for that. I understand why you aren't being so open. It would be hard to trust someone especially when they are long distance. You deserve for him to be honest with you.
I always have said, I am a one woman man. I tell them upfront. If you are ever interested in someone else, I deserve the respect of you breaking it off with me first, and I will do the same. I will dump someone so fast if they are cheating on me.
I think it will take time since you gave him a second chance. You can't just open up to someone you don't really trust. I will be praying for you. If he cheats again or you even have a suspicion of it, go with your gut instincts, you should find someone who deserves you.
2006-09-17 12:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well is that something you really want to do. If it is then you will know the best way to act around him. I think you feel you are acting the way you need to act around him. I think you may want to keep up the front you are putting up now. If he cheated on you in the past, I say once a cheater is always a cheater. So do what you are doing, so you dont get hurt.
2006-09-17 19:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to open up to someone when he did hurt. I understand, you're trying to protect yourself. I would just be honest with him. Let him know that you love/miss him and maybe also mention how hurt you might feel towards him because you are afraid of him cheating on you again. As much as it will hurt him that you still think about it, he might appreciate the fact that you are being honest with him.
2006-09-17 19:06:08 · answer #3 · answered by ~*Jill*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having had 2 long distance relationships i can say they don't work....its very rarely that do...detach yourself from the emotion now...cause you`ll only hurt more when it does end...you`ve already said he cheated on you,how do you really know he isn't at this moment.....he can be the funniest sweetest man you have ever met and you cant imagine your life without him...but u could end up getting your heart ripped out if one day he says he just wants to be mates.....so i suggest you don't give your heart at all until your confident of a future together and a greater form of commitment is made
2006-09-17 19:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by seeclearlynow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheated on you? Get real you haven't even met the guy.Don't bother telling him your feelings before you meet up with him because once you do meet him everything might change.Sorry I'm not trying to spoil your love story but just telling you the cold hard truth.
2006-09-17 19:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by telis_gr1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to do anything to prove yourself or your feelings. If he's cheated then it's for him to do all the leg work to prove to you that HIS feelings are sincere and that he's genuinely sorry. No wonder you're guarded!. You just go with the flow and see how you feel without forcing yourself as you're bound to have trust issues. Good luck.
2006-09-17 19:08:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
apparently i guess u hide ur feelings from him cz he cheated on you before.. well .. if he ever asks about why you conceil your feelings from him tell him the reason ( if it's becz of the cheating thing ) and listen to what he'll say and how sorry he is and if he loves you. just beware of not getting hurt again .. peace
2006-09-17 19:08:52 · answer #7 · answered by hunter_free2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am trying to have a long distance relationship too....and i am hiding my true feeling too....maybe because i don't want to get hurt
i don't think u should overcome this attitude..in my opinion it is the "safe" attitude...and that's what we all want...to feel safe
2006-09-17 19:04:48 · answer #8 · answered by Diana_84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not easy, but if u really like him give him a chance, nothing is easy especially love.talk to him ,tell him how you feel about him,tell him your fears , your worries ,what you like and what you dislike about him and how you felt when you discovered he cheated on you,and about trust.
but first of all is HE WORTH IT?
2006-09-17 19:24:48 · answer #9 · answered by dersertrose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's cheated and he's that long a distance away from you- you need to wash your hands clean of him. You'll never know what happens in your absense
2006-09-17 19:05:44 · answer #10 · answered by antagonist 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋