did I make the right choice?

Question

Ok well I had a b/f that was a total long distance relationship. (I'm in Florida and he is in Columbia. At least for the school year) Well I had been going out with him for two months and yea I liked him, alot. But after a while I started likeing my best friend and losing my feelings for my boyfriend.

Well my friend invited me to a party (his uncles bday or something) and well we hated the music so we walked around outside and were just talking and what not and then he put his arm around me and we started acting all b/f g/f ish. Like he would hold my hand and nearly kiss me but wouldnt. So yea. We walked over to this picnic table and it was hidden so we made out. (mainly because he started kissing me and saying that i wasnt fat cuz i was complaining that i was...he poked my tummy ok!)

and well we went in the back of the truck and made out again. and then he just held me and then we went home.

i felt so guilty and now our relationship isnt working out very well.

ok well. i did break up with him (a while ago...my exx boyfriend thats in columbia)

i just dont know if i made the right choice.

i mean. the guy im dating right now (the kid i made out with. ) he has another girl friend. He knew we were cheating on other people. But he didnt care. he practically loves me and i rly want him to break up with that other girl.

im planning on talking to him about it...pretty soon

all of my friends think im crazy because the guy im dating just happens to be a huge player and a pot head. (i know i know, this will screw over your life. no it wont. we wont be together forever) and he wont play me because he said he promised me that he wouldnt. he promised on ummmmmmmm...things.....that he wouldnt

Answer 1

No, you didn't make the right choice, and now you're feeling guilty. Now, don't sit down and feel sorry for yourself, get up (as the old saying goes), dust yourself off, and start all over again. BUT this time, don't let the fact that you are not happy with how things are going in the romance area cause you to make poor choices.

You are not helpless. You are obviously an attractive young woman or these two guys would not have been attracted to you in the first place. Make a promise to yourself that you will not do things out of boredom or loneliness that you will regret tomorrow.

Unless you have genuine and deep feelings for a young man, you shouldn't even be kissing him. Don't be in a hurry for the touching/sex part. That is just your body talking and, believe me, your body will talk with almost anyone under the right circumstances. IT IS YOUR JOB TO BE CERTAIN THAT IT IS THE RIGHT PERSON, NOT THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES. CIRCUMSTANCES CHANGE. However, you cannot afford to change people like you would a Kleenex. That would be cruel. So, be more choosey about whom you pick to give your favors to. This means get to KNOW them before anything heavy goes on. This means let them get to know you. Find out if you can respect his ideas and heroes. Learn about his family. Are they all idiots, or pretty great?

Take the time and the trouble to lay some groundwork before you let your heart and your hormones loose. Find out if he is man enough to make a commitment to you by asking you to marry him and do it, before any sex enters the picture.

Sex is the greatest liar you will ever deal with. Sex will make you think you have a prince when you have a frog (for a while). Don't put it into the mix while you are still learning about a guy and you keep your eyes (and your heart) open to what's going on. You make better decisions that way. That's what your friends and your parents are rooting for you to do. Never doubt it!! Hugs, Kiddo...it can be great if you do it right!!

Answer 2

Yeah, well I think that your reactions to what happened are normal. Most people would feel bad after they did something unloyal to their partner/spouse, and it makes sense that your relationship with your boyfriend isn't working out, especially if you told him. So, what was your choice that you are refering to? You didn't actually say if you told your boyfriend that you made out with someone else...So, I can only assume that you are wondering if you made the right choice about the mutual kiss with your friend.

And this is what I think:
Your boyfriend is miles away, you like him, but you have only been dating for two months, correct? Your friend invited you to a party and you went along with his actions and kissed him. I think that you shouldn't have kissed him, no. That is cheating. Regardless of how hard your long distance relationship is, you have to talk this out with your partner before you go off and do things with other people. You could have gone to that party, not kissed him, and then later called your boyfriend and told him exactly how you were feeling and that you might have feelings for this other guy. That way, he can be told the truth without you cheating. And ultimately, dumping him or staying with him is your choice and as long as you told him that you weren't happy and had feelings for someone else, you could then pursue a relationship with your friend. I think that would have been a better situation, but the fact is, what's done is done...you can't change the past, so there is nothing you can do differently. I would be completely honest with your boyfriend about how you feel for him, the relationship, and your friend and then decide accordingly. I hope this helped you out and good luck.

Answer 3

Two months seems like a short ttime to commit to long distance relationship but there must've been something there for you to want to do so. Of all types of relationships, I think it's easiest to become confused in our own emotions in this type of relationship. Not seeing our significant other on a regular basis and having that interaction I think causes us to make it seem like looking elsewhere as innocent.

Fact of the matter is, there are two things you have to do. One is talk to your current boyfriend and see where he stands with the relationship without breaking the news about your tryst. Bring up a discussion on where he sees the relationship going, if he feels that it concrete where you guys are. How you break the news to him about what had happend is all going to depend on how he reponded to your relationship inquiry.

Two is to talk to your bestfriend. Weather he liked the idea of you two hooking up or not, your relationship between him has been changed and if you do decide to move ahead...you'd be losing a friend. If he is in fact was/is your bestfriend, he should've been the last one in this type of situation with you. Talk to him, try to understand why he did what he did and maybe try to understand why you followed along.

Having your boyfriend be so far away, not gettin' the lovin' you want when you want it and not have that emotional "leash" with you all the time can be a strain...weather it's something that turns out to be good or can cause devestation. Be smart and mature about whatever decision you make and think of the consequences. Remember that your feelings aren't the only ones involved.

Answer 4

probably wrong choice. That was wrong b/c you have a boyfriend...your poor boyfriend. And also, this guy that you randomly made out with is actually your best friend; so he knew that you have a boyfriend and probably doesnt want anything more w/ yalls relationship b/c he may be scared that you are going to do the same to him that you did to your real boyfriend. but I hope everything works out for the best and maybe this was meant to happen as a learning experience.

Answer 5

I do think you would've been better off ending the first relationship before even considering any others, if even just out of respect for the first man. All you can do at this point is apologize and try to make amends. Also, make sure you aren't jumping into this new relationship just because you're lonely.

Answer 6

You need to talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel. You can never go wrong if you follow your heart. If he doesn't understand then you don't have to do anything more because he will eliminate himself from the equation and you can continue things with the new guy. Either way you get the new guy and the old is gone. Let me know if I can help again.

Answer 7

That was a really stupid thing to do. you should have broken things off with your bf first. and when the lines get blurred between friend and boyfriend things can get messy. obviously there is a lack of communication and it needs to be addressed. and if its not working out for God's sake let him know. dont go jumping to the next guy because he gives you attention.

Answer 8

You made a good choice, the old relationship was over. If this new one isn't working, let it go too.
You are young and plenty of other guys out there.

Answer 9

Long distance relationships almost never work out. you should tell your boyfriend about it (to be honest) and then tell him that its not working out and end the relationship.

but let him know that you guys can still be friends (even though its not likely)

Answer 10

If the love is strong...(long distance relationships work out) but most of the time... the distance is so inevitable to avoid that you grow apart, doens't matter how long and how often you talk to each other.But...karma...karma...karma....tch tch tch.