My man is leaving on a business trip and I think he is going to rekindle an old flame. He says that he is not and that I need to take his word for it but it is hard because I know that where he is going she will be there all the time and I know she still wants him back. I do trust him to a certain point and I dont want to completely cut him off and give him a reason not to come back but it hurts and it is hard. He and I have had alot of ups and downs and we do argue alot but for some reason we always get back together. I know I just have to let him go and whatever comes about comes about. I geuss I just want some feedback from other women or men who have been in similar situations where they let the person they love go and the outcome of the situation.
2006-09-17 10:51:48 · 12 answers · asked by Miss Tee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't hold on so tight! Face your fears and realize that you will be fine, no matter what happens. Don't choke the relationship because you can't tell what's going to happen. He has loved you. Nothing can change that. He loves you. He said so. Go with that until life shows the contrary. In the long run, it will be better for your blood pressure and your relationship.
I've got a song for you:
Bag Lady, by Erykah Badu
Bag lady you gon' hurt your back
Draggin' all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you, is you
One day all them bags gone get in
You way
One day all them bags gone get in
You way
One day all them bags gone get in
You way
One day all them bags gone get in
You way
So pack light
So pack light
So pack light
So pack light
Bag lady you gon' miss your bus
You can’t hurry up 'cause you got too much stuff
When they see you comin'
****** take off runnin'
From you, it’s true, oh yes they do
One day he gon' say, you crowdin'
My space
One day he gon' say, you crowdin'
My space
One day he gon' say, you crowdin'
My space
One day he gon' say, you crowdin'
My space
So pack light
So pack light
So pack light
So pack light
Girl I know, sometimes it’s hard
And we can’t let go
Oh when someone hurts you oh so
Bad inside
You can’t deny it, you can’t stop cryin'
So oh oh oh
If you start breathin'
Then you won’t believe it
You’ll feel so much better
(so much better baby)
Bag lady
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
Girl you don’t need it
I betcha love can make it better (repeats)
2006-09-17 11:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I know I just have to let him go and whatever comes about comes about" {per u} - So, my thought to situation, from experience - both first hand and from the outside lookin' in - is that ur exactly right! As hard as it may seem or be, u couldn't have made a truer statement. How ur insecurity {no offense meant} is only gonna cause problems, some times u just have to swallow ur pride and do what u know is right. If u always argue, and u've had ups and downs, thus far, could it be just a "hard habit to break?" U really need to think the situation out and relax. U can't prevent him from doing anything. If it's gonna happen...it's gonna happen. It's as simple as that. Noone wants to lose out or get hurt, but welcome to the "real" world...IT happens to us all! And, if u can't trust him 100%, then why stress urself over it? Get urself together and worry a little more about "U" than him. Don't sweat it or even let it be an occupant on ur mind. While he's gone take some "me" time for urself and just pray for the best. Ever heard the old saying "If u luv something, set it free! If it comes back, it was meant to be!" Love is unpredictable and NOT something force tends to have an affect on. I mean think about it. U can't make a size 6 shoe fit ur size 13 foot, right? Nor can u make love a household chore w/two people. Relax! Give him a break, and hope and pray for the best! Don't let ur weakness be the reason for the failure of this relationship. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff.
2006-09-17 11:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by Brandi A. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times, our suspicions are indeed true. There is no way to know the truth of the matter. I suggest that you trust him & open up to him and inform him of your suspicions. If he later decides to leave you for whatever reason, let him go. I have learned from personal experience that if a man no longer wants to be with you, there is nothing you can do to change his mind. JUST LET HIM GO!! It was difficult for me to let go and I did hurt for a long time, but I got over it. Now I am with the man I have always longed for & my life couldn't be much better!! Now the other man is catching hell with "her" & hates that he ever married "her"! So, from personal experience, just prepare yourself for the worse. I promise you that a better man will come to you and you will be glad that the other man did leave!!!
2006-09-17 11:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by RN Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tricky situation! If he wants you to know he is being faithful then he should call you during work hours and definately after. That way your mind will be clear and he should know that. If he is not willing to do that for you then there maybe something else going on. It's not hard to pick up the phone for a couple minutes. Also, just remember you do what "you" think is best. If you want to call him outta the blue then you do that. Good luck to you!
2006-09-17 11:01:48 · answer #4 · answered by joyall57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion, in line with my stories and observations, is that men are greater possibly to circulate away their different halves with out somebody waiting interior the wings. women, tend to have separation/divorce plans that contain somebody else, the two romantically or as an emotionally close "pal" that have inspired their judgements that convey them to the factor of leaving a marriage. Im no longer asserting that some men do never have the comparable variety of human beings influencing them - in simple terms that a guy getting some action on the facet - isn't very possibly to circulate away his spouse and relatives for the facet action - it in simple terms would not often go down that way. women can tend to get greater emotionally in contact with the different guy or woman.
2016-10-15 02:39:21 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. I'm in that position too. I guess we just have to let them go, why waste both of your time, right. Its never too late to find someone better than what you have now. And its hard to let go either. But what else can we do? Suffer more and be emotionally disturbed? It's not good! We have to accept the truth and the fact that things change in life but maybe it's for the best. So good luck!
2006-09-17 13:26:14 · answer #6 · answered by asian_gal_from_socal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm... Well, it is hard to let this happen... especially knowing that "she" wants him back. I'd be worried, too.. but trust him until you get some concrete evidence of anything. Your mind can play games with you and 'cause you to think "something" of absolutely nothing. Don't "force him" to see her "better" by argueing and maybe pushing him away, with it. I'm not saying that you are, it's just a bit of advice.
2006-09-17 10:57:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
gee that is a tuff call all away around. you hate to appear insecure but what you wrote is pretty much could go either way. but i guess talk to him for he leaves and tell him abit of your fears . your right nothing you can to what comes about just would be his fault tho ............as he knows better . guess in marriage trust is a big issue let alone being tempted so it is like a test..
2006-09-17 10:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by terri e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ever heard of the song 'bad habit' from kelly rowland. this is the same situation. well, if you really argue and fight all that bad, then its not meant to be. relationships aren't perfect, but it should be stable. there should be time to apologize. and also!!! if you dont rust him, then its definately not meant to be
2006-09-17 10:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by HUSTLiN' Babii 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The relationship isn't going to work so drop him cause there is more fishes in the sea.
2006-09-17 10:58:40 · answer #10 · answered by Grannie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋