help please my 15year old daughter is 8 weeks pregnant and wants to keep it i need help and advise?

Question

please if there is any one out there who has been through this or know some one that has i would welcome your help just so you know i am married with a large family of 7, 4 still living at home my daughter is the second to youngest

Answer 1

i dont really have much advice, but i would tell u to talk to your daughter very calmly no getting upset, and make sure ur daughter is aware of what responsibilities this baby will bring along

other than that i would say respect what ur daughter wants and support her

its not easy on u, but its harder on her, she'll need all the support she can get

Answer 2

your daughter is probably very scared so you need to be there for her. 15 is very young to have a baby so if she insists on keeping it, make sure she has someone (you or a close relative) who can look after the baby while she is at school. Adoption is a good bet but a lot of people dont feel comftable with that. Also to show you trust your daughter let her make the decsions to prove you believe in her whatever she does - don't force her into anything. As she is 15 she should be staying at home for a few more years so you are going to be very close to the baby, so sad and scary as it is for you, you are going to be the babys main mum. As you have 7 kids your going to have looked after babies before which is a good advantage, your daughter being the second to youngest wont have been through it before, so pass on a lot of wisdom to her, you never know you and your daughter may bond over this as you will be together for a long time. I hope this helped and you have a good time raising a new child

Answer 3

You know what my dad used to always say? Babies bring their own blessings. This isn't an ideal situation, but it's one I expect to face one day because girls grow up so much quicker. It isn't the end of the world. You sound at least like you care about her wellbeing, you aren't threatening to throw her out or anything are you? So right away she seems to have a family who love and care for her behind her.
If she was mine, I would want her to have this baby, I would want her to live at home. If you can, look after the baby so she can return to school, if not find get in touch with the education and start securing a place in a school which has a mother and baby unit. Encourage her to finish her education, then get a job to support herself, explain how important it will be in the long run for her and the baby, what a struggle it is to manage without support etc. So long as she knows you are not judging her or treating her like a child she will welcome your help with open arms and in 5 years time when her baby starts school she will be so glad she listened to her mum.
I was 25 when I had my first child and 30 when I had my second, it was a big shock both times, I can only tell you that I learned to appreciate my mum once I had my children because you have no idea of what life is like, no idea at all.
Good luck and I hope all goes well for your daughter

Answer 4

I am from a family of four and I am the second eldest. I got pregnant at 17 whilst I was still at college and kept my daughter. The best advice I can give you is please, please do not try to force your daughter to do something that she doesn't want to do. If she says she wants to keep her baby then support her, do not start with the "I know you do, but" speech as this will probably just make her really angry. Help her through, ask her how she is feeling and give her advice on things that used to help you when you had morning sickness, backache and all that lovely stuff. DO NOT keep comparing pregnancies, every woman and every pregnancy is different. I had major fallings out with my Mum because she couldn't understand how I had no energy when her pregnancies had been a breeze, then we found out I was severely anaemic. Just help her and love her, and when the baby comes let her find her own way. Give advice, but don't try to take over. At the end of the day she is your baby and now is when she needs you to see her as an adult who has to make her own choices and stick by them. You will both be fine, don't worry.

Answer 5

Oh dear. Every person's worst nightmare.
Right - my friend said this to me when I told her my son was to be a father at 19 - she hasn't got AIDS, cancer or something horrible like that.
It's a baby, whom you will love and cherish. It's not an ideal situation.
I was always overwhelmed by my best friend's attitude when her daughter fell pregnant. They welcomed the baby into the family - very hard, they were religious. She was so generous - never said a word although she was bitterly disappointed that her daughter's career was on hold. As hard as this is for you, your daughter will remember your love with gratitude. She doesn't know what she's in for - you do. She will need your love and support.
So be strong. This isn't the end of the world. Hey - out of seven kids, you've done well if this is the first unplanned baby.
Good luck!

Answer 6

Hi-
I love to give my opinion because it is not a miracle story, but it can be motivational. When I was 15 I got pregnant with the boy I lost my virginity to. He was 17. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend for 3 months. It was difficult, especially when we told my parents, they had no idea I was even having sex. Financially, well, my dad had a factory job and wasnt prepared to take on another life to support. It broke my heart to see my father cry...He was understandably furious, he thought long and hard about it. But I listened and loved everything he had to say. He sat us down and we talked. He told me how much he loved me because I was the youngest, the baby girl, and how much he would like to welcome my boyfriend to the family. I was so happy. He said he would accept our opporunity because babies are miracles not mistakes. My parents are the bravest human beings on earth. They took care of us through everything. We had a baby boy in Oct. of 2004, my boyfriend and I moved out when our baby was 7 months old and my parents help us get on our feet. In February this year we got married and a few months later we found out we were having a baby girl. She will be here in Nov! I am anxious and so are my parents. My husband and I are great parents and if my parents had not let me make my own decision, I would probably not know that. They are incredible people. Your daughter will make a great mother if she is already willing to accept this opportunity. All that she needs is your help. Gov. assistance will not turn down anyone under 18 so please do not make this about money. Do you trust your daughter to do the right thing? If you talk to her would she appreciate your advice? All teenagers are different I know from experience...I have the best relationship with my mother, we can talk about anything. My life would not be the same without our son he is the best. I pray for the best outcome...I hope the baby's father is being supportive...he is a very large part of this too. Whatever you choose, will be fates decision too but that baby is already on it's way so if you do not think that you can do it, let someone who is married and willing to take it care for it. :) I hope I helped and did not make it harder, This is a hard decision.
Good Luck to you and congratulations on the baby.

Answer 7

Because she is so early in her pregnancy, there is a lot time for calm discussion. I would recommend a therapist for all of you to see together. This is an enormous event for the whole family, and whether she realizes it now, or not, will affect everyone involved. It sounds like you already have your hands full, and I know this must be terrifying. Be sure that the adoption option is kept open and is discussed, but do your best just to offer information and not to sway her one way or another. She needs to know you will support her in what ever decision she makes. I actually had a child myself at the age of sixteen, and I chose life for him, but I also chose adoption. I was too young to offer him all he deserved, and I did not have any familial support. It sounds like she needs Christian options counseling where everything except abortion is discussed. It can be very helpful to have the advice and support of the clergy of the church if you attend one. You all have a difficult road ahead. It can be done, but you have a large family already. You and your husband need to sit down and decide if you can take on the responsibility of another child without your household falling apart. Then you need to discuss the numbers with her in a very frank and honest way. Treat her as the adult you want her to become. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 8

I got pregnant when I was 15 and I was so lucky to have a very supportive family. I kept my baby and I can't image my life without him. I graduated a year early from high school at 16, and married my baby's father a year later after he got out of army basic training. A big thing to think about and talk over with her is that this baby is a huge responsibility and it is not to be taken lightly, he life will be forever different than her peers, no partying or school football games on Friday night, yet there is this miraculous human being that depends on you and loves you so incredibly much. you can get a class at most community colleges for a daycare assistant teacher diploma and get her a leg up on a job for after school and after graduation, best thing is she would get to be right there with her baby but still feel as if she is supporting it herself. There is always hope in this situation it just depends if she gets the support she needs to raise a child at such a young age.

I am now 21 my husband 24 and we are happier than ever we recently bought a house, are both in college, him while he is serving in the army me while I find time in between my 2 little ones, and most of all we are so incredibly happy. We have no money worries and are just hoping to give our little ones the world.

If you or your daughter want to email me that would be fine [e-mail]

Answer 9

first hand experience i was the 16 year old that got pregnant. let her keep her baby! Grandma Lol well i also have a large family the more the better that baby was made for a reason.
well my mom was worried also when i was in that situation and she didn't know what to do adoption or abortion wasn't an option to any of us but it wasn't as hard as people made it sound its going to be hard emotionally but you can do it! you had 7 whats one more gonna hurt. i know your life was probably full of stress and hard tI'mes it had to have been 7 wow . she needs you right now mom you the most it also helps if daddy's around for the baby also.if that baby is taken from her she will never be the same. the girl will be filled with anger and hate ill tell ya i would have been if someone took mine form me and I'm 21 going on my second child. have my own place car etc etc not bragging but she can do it it wont be easy she will need help form mom as well as i did don't let her give up on school please that's the only wronge thing i did and i REGRET it bad because now im going to school and working...... but that will be don't with soon good luck!!!! God Bless your heart and your family

Answer 10

I am wondering what your concern is. First thing comes to mind is can the boy be arrested and do you want to avoid this? If I am recalling the law. Anyway I doubt a doctor would report it. Specialy a family doc you have been going to for sometime. I think in most cases the parents have to report it. However tread lightly because the state presses charges not you so if the state knows thus arrest. Which I think is bad since kids are kids. If they are same age I think the law still applies. Will she be 16 in 9 months?

As far as raising etc I would suggest laying out a guideline now. I am nots ure if you have concerns about her schooling so I would consider this for the future. I think if the boy doesn't choose to be around your family can fill the void. It's very difficult at a young age as no one tends to have a stable mindset. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 11

This is a difficult situation for you all to be in and not one easily solved I am afraid.
First of all she needs to either see the doctor if she already has not and also needs to speak to a pregnancy clinic who deal with this every day. She needs to speak to people independently at first and then involve you.As she needs to be very clear in her mind what she is letting herself in for and if she decides to keep the baby then she is going to need a lot of support from you, her father, family and also the babies father and family. If the father is around then he and his family may be more supportive than you think.
You also have a lot to consider as you are still a large family at home and how this will effect the situation.
It sounds as if you do have a good relationship with your daughter as she has already talked to you about it and she is only fifteen that takes a lot of courage from her and it is good she could come to you.
A friends daughter many years ago did become pregnant at 16yrs at first all hell broke loose and it was bad for a while. Once everything was talked through she did keep the baby and with my friends help she returned to full time education. Today she has a good career and can support herself and her little boy independently.