The story of a very short man
A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"
and
Things dad won't say
Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say
Well, how 'bout that?...I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car-GO CRAZY.
What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
Your mother and I are going away for the weekend...you might want to consider throwing a party.
Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
Father's Day? Aaahh-don't worry about that-it's no big deal.
2006-09-17 09:48:26 · 31 answers · asked by BENDER IS THE BOMB!!! (Fav show) 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Funny
2006-09-17 14:29:00 · answer #1 · answered by #1 Candy Fan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
out of 1 - 10 id give it a -10 sorry try another one but i didnt get it and im blonde
2006-09-17 09:52:01 · answer #2 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loved the 1st joke and I rate it a 9. The 2nd was ok..maybe a 3..sorry.
2006-09-17 09:51:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Both are pretty good, I think I like the second one better
2006-09-17 10:23:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
loll, I didnt get that they were 2 different jokes at first. I was confused.
2006-09-17 10:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by hersheyshayer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to long and its was not that funny i hope u can type fast or that was a wast of time
PS lol
2006-09-17 09:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by lil mb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't like the first one but the second one was okay.
2006-09-17 09:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The joke was cute
2006-09-17 09:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They were Ok i just didnt laugh they made me smile though.
2006-09-17 10:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Cuntry_&_Luvin_It 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first one was funny, the second one was okay...
2006-09-17 09:52:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋