My 5 year old is out of control HELP?

Question

My 5 year old daughter will not mind at all. She has just recently become out of control. Nothing works. Please HELP

Thank you everyone.. I have taken all of your ideas and she has done alot better. So thank you very much I really appreciate all your feed back

Answer 1

Don't spank her! It will just teach her to fear you. Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your daughter misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If she makes a mess, she cleans it. If she breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If she damages something in the home, she does things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the discipline fit the crime. A natural consequence for her back talking is that you do not want to be near her. You can say “If you are going to speak to me like that I don’t want to be near you. We can be together when you’re ready to be speak to me nicely.”

Another technique you can try when she is misbehaving is this. As soon as she misbehaves, get down to her level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take her gently by the hand and put her in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (control yourself, stop hitting, listen, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling her). She returns when she's ready to control herself. You may have to take her back to the spot a few times before she gets the message. Thank her when she behaves. Keep it up!

Notice her when she is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help her to feel powerful in a positive way.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 2

When you say nothing works have you tried things for a length of time because nothing will work quickly ,it takes work and time to fix the problems you have created ,yes you ,if you want to fix the problem you first have to work out what you are doing or not doing wrong because 5 year olds don't teach them self's to be out of control .Do you yell a lot but not follow thou ,are you inconsistent? do you smack too much instead of teaching your child ,do you behave badly in front of her ,I don't know what your problem is ,I'm not judging you but you have to judge your self and look around you ,has the bad behaviour just started ,if so what has changed ?is there a new boy freind or a marage break up or have you had a new baby ? these are the things you need to look at.then when you know what the real problem is ask again.

Answer 3

I'm a mother of one and she is six years old and trust me its not going to stop until she gets involve in school or daycare. I would suggest a play date or have her pick an event that you an her can do together such as the zoo,museum or you can even go to a store purchase art supply and create a lot of fun activities you can both do and trust me having her pick her activity of the day, once or twice in a role in a week she will be less out of control. Just make a schedule that will fit your schedule and her's so she dosen't feel like she is not getting any attention. So good luck and i hope it works out for you like it worked for me. spenking a kid eisn't enough because they will act up even worst always remeber that.

Answer 4

You might have her checked out by a Dr. if she just recently became out of control, and it is not her normal behavior. She could have a imbalance in her system. Maybe vitamins would help that. Next ... Try prayer, and then consider trying to reach her little heart when you are scolding her for doing wrong. Reach her heart, then guide her in the right direction with discipline. Do not discipline her when you are angry, it only makes things worse..The Bible says do not push your child to anger. .Give her a choice, do this and get this, or do this and get this...Let it be her choice to do the right thing and reward her for the right choice. If she chooses the wrong thing reward her accordingly to her actions. Sometimes , time alone in her room is a good idea , isolate her from you and the rest of the family, 5 minutes to a 5 year old is like a lifetime, tell her to think about how she is doing and let her know that is not respectful to you and the way your family accepts things. Tell her God expects her to respect her parents, and God does not like it when she is being so bad.

Reach her little heart it is still pure, and can be reached with love, patience, and guidance. Remember most of all to Pray for God's guidance in disciplining your child.

Your child is God's gift to you, what you do with that child is your gift to God. God bless you and good luck

Answer 5

The next time she has a "spell", don't take her away or wait until it is a more convenient time, even if you are in the middle of a huge crowd. Tell her, "No hitting, screaming, fighting, biting, etc. And spank 2 or 3 times with a firm hand! Dont worry what the other people around you might think, or about hurting the child! If it does hurt her, well then maybe she will learn a lesson! Just dont abuse her!

Answer 6

You will have to sit her down and tell her that there will be consequences when she acts up and does not mind you. She is old enough to understand this

You can give her "time outs" you can take away privleges such as T.V. and games, etc. I would use "spanking" as a last resort.

You might want to take a look at her diet as well. If she is getting a lot of sugar in her diet, that can make her be out of control.

REMEMBER!!! You must be consistant everytime you punish her or she will not take you seriously. You cant pretend to scold her and then not do it. Follow through is really important here!

Answer 7

Hi there. I know just what you are feeling. I just recently had the same experience with my 5 year old son, but at school. I was able to get him to behave much much better.

First of all, talk to your child. Try to find out why this behavior is occurring. You might be surprised, kids this young do like to talk to you. See if there are any stresses that she's been going through lately. If your child is just misbehaving because she wants to then you need to start setting up some strict rules for her. I personally do not spank as a first option. I start taking "privileges" away. No one knows your child as much as you do. Start taking away things that she likes. You always have to assure her that you love her very much but that her misbehaving is causing you to have to be strict with her and even punish her. The "key" to all this is to follow through. If your child notices that you don't "follow through" with your words, even one time, they'll know you don't really mean business. I took away my son's TV watching privileges during the week, no playtime either. He would come home, do his homework (I'd help him with it), then eat dinner and sleep. No playtime, no TV, no V-Smile, no extra goodies or snacks. I told him that if his behavior at school wasn't good, that he would continue this same routine. I requested that his teacher send me daily behavior notices, so I knew if he behaved or not. I also gave her my cell number so she could call me anytime if he was acting up. This worked! I told him that if he behaved during the week, on the weekends he would get to go with us on family outings (which he loves) and if he didn't, he would stay home....(with grandma or grandpa) and wouldn't get to do anything fun. Believe me, even though they're only 5, they are SMART. They can put two and two together and they'll realize that bad behavior leads to boredom and no fun.


Best wishes for a good resolution.

Answer 8

Spanking her will not solve anything! All spanking does is teach a child that it is ok to use physical violence on people if you are angry! What I did with my son at that age was timeout in his room for 5 minutes(I actually had to put a lock on his door to keep him in). What I do now is to take away privileges depending on what the behavior is. If he chooses not to listen, then no computer for the rest of the day, if he swears he loses his tv show...these are just examples. 1, 2, 3 magic also works VERY well!!!! Look it up on the net and there is also a video and book to explain it...This is the method that was suggested by his doctor!

Answer 9

Adopt her a Queetles. It seems to me your 5 yr old daughter need constant positive reinforcement, and comforting.

Queetles is a new comfort talkback critter for kids. This is such a cute stuff toy. They are not for sale, just yet, we have to wait until Oct 1st. But I am telling all of my friends about this wonderful toy, as well as their mission to visit children's hospitals all over the country, and handing out free queetles, to all of the patients. Such a positive toy and Idea.

Go queetles...you rock!

Answer 10

My son is also 5, and has behavior issues. He purposely annoys people, doesn't mind, talks back etc.
I took him to the pediatrician, he said he may have ADHD, i took him to a psychologist and he says he has ODD (Oppositional defiant disorder) google that and see if you daughter has the signs...hes still under evaluation for ADHD and some learning disabilities but its correctable and therapy has been SOOO helpful and his attitude is getting much better and hes learning how to behave.