Any1 know any fireman jokes?

Question

If so can u tell them please! Cheers guys.

Answer 1

One dark night outside on the outskirts of Hastings, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments
for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $100,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $200,000 to the fire station who could bring out the company's secret files.From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.

It was the nearby Maori rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Maoris over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant. Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside, the other firemen watched as the Maori old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat never seen before he was upping the
reward to $500,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave firefighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Well," said Hemi, the 70-year-old fire chief, "The first thing we gonna do is fix the brakes on that f-ing truck!"

Answer 2

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and you shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to you to bring a smile on your face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps you in making you laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 3

A fireman and his wife were bored with their sex life so he tried to liven it up by incorporating the bell system that was used at work.At the firehouse when the first bell rings,everyone runs to the trucks:on the second bell,they gear up;and on the third bell they jump on the trucks and head for the fire.So he went home and told his wife:"I've got this great idea to spice up our sex life.We're gonna use the bell system.When I shout "Bell one",you run into the bedroom;when I shout "bell two",you take off your clothes;and when I call"bell three",you jump on the bed and we make passionate love."
The next evening he got home from work and immediately shouted "bell one."His wife ran into the bedroom.Then he called out "bell two" and she took off her clothes.Then he yelled "bell three" and the pair leaped on the bed together and started making love.But no sooner had they started than she suddenly cried:"Bell four,bell four!"
"What the hell's bell four?" he gasped.
"More hose!More hose!You're nowhere near the fire!"

Answer 4

what do u call a fireman in a tree?
an i d i o t cuz hes still a fireman...i know, weak!

Answer 5

An orthodox rabbi is studying in his living room, when there is a knock on the door. When he opens the door, it is a policeman, who informs him that the rivers are rising, a flood is expected, and evacuation is recommended.
The rabbi explains, "I am a man of God. I am sure he will protect me from danger."
The policeman shrugs his shoulders and leaves.
As the rabbi is watching the rising water getting closer and closer to his house, there is a second knock, this time a State Trooper. The trooper says, "Rabbi, we are evacuating the area as the flood is getting serious and you are in jeopardy."
Again the rabbi explains, "I am a man of God. I am sure he will protect me from danger. I am staying."
Well, the water continues to rise, until the rabbi is forced to stay on the second floor. He hears some yelling and looks up to see two firemen in a rowboat right outside his second floor window.
"Rabbi!" one of the firemen calls, "Get in the boat, the rains are not letting up! It's getting serious."
"I am a man of God. He will protect me from danger. I'll stay."
The firemen, fearing for their own safety, row on.
As the flood rises, the rabbi is forced to climb out onto his roof, just as a helicopter is flying over. The helicopter drops a rope ladder and a voice calls down, "We're coming to get you, rabbi!"
"No, no.... God will protect me. You go on."
Well, needless to say, the water continues to rise and the rabbi drowns. When he gets to Heaven, he is really upset. "I must see God," says the rabbi. "Please take me to God."
He is granted an audience with God.
"Lord," says the rabbi, "after a lifetime of devotion to you, why would you forsake me in my moment of need?"
God says, "You schmuck, I sent two cops, a rowboat full of firemen, and a helicopter

Answer 6

What do you call a Spanish Fireman?
Jose!

What do you call his brother?
hose b

Answer 7

Why did the fireman cross the road?


To get to the other side.

Answer 8

What do paramedics call fireman???

Sherpas

Answer 9

i thought the whole lot of them were jokes,,overpaid, under worked and a very selfish attitude to people especially the young..

Answer 10

yes but they all went up in smoke