One day he just came up to me and told me that he wanted to have sex with me. I him let him know that i like him but i'm the type of girl that wants a relationship. He didn't ask again. We talked a lot as friends after and i've learned that his heart was broken once before, he says he doesn't want to give another girl the chance to do it again. He's a nice guy, except for him using girls just for sex. He also said that because he loved his ex and she hurted him, if he begins to fall in love with another girl he'll drop her if he doesn't trust her completely. I want to know, does anyone think its possible for me to win his heart by being mutual friends and getting to know each other better? This way we can talk about his ways (he talks openly to me) and i'll gain his trust and try to convince him to change. Then if he does, we get together. Is it possible? Guys out there, i want you especially to help me out. And girls what would be the best thing to do? Cause i really like him!!
2006-09-17 08:57:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the best way to start would be thru friendship. that will give him the chance to know you better, and eventually you will be able to win his confidence. i don't buy the idea that you plan to convince him to change. if things turn out well in your friendship, you will see that in him if he plans to take you to a different level of relationship aside from friendship, and then, he will change whether you ask him to or not. he's been hurt once and it might take a while to regain his being able to trust women again. if you do care for him, be patient and work on your friendship first. best of luck to you.
2006-09-17 09:05:17 · answer #1 · answered by marisu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What odds? He wants sex and you want to talk first? Be his friend if you want to be friends with a user. By the way his opening lines could use some work. Throw him back and let him mature, thought he still could be pretty useless relationshipwise for the next 30 years, and if you don't believe me listen in to any 10 discussions at a bar. Find a nice guy who likes women, not some sulky userdude. Much more pleasure, much less work
2006-09-17 16:08:15 · answer #2 · answered by UselessOM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have some experience in this field.
It sounds to me, he is not over his last GF. I was once crushed by a same experience and I started to have sex with lots of people as well. It was an easy way out of the grief in my life.
Hes doing the same. Chances are, hes hiding his pain. We as guys do it all the time.
He needs time, Not sex. He needs a friend.
I think it would be a great idea for you to JUST be his friend. Become close and allow him the greifing time to get over his Ex. If you try to rush into anything right now, chances are, he will push you away. Try to keep his mind off his Ex. Just be a friend to him.
It took me many months to get over my Ex Fiance'. However, befor I was finnaly over her, I already slept with over 10 different girls, and played them all for sex. Something Im not proud of. When I was finnaly sure I was over her, I noticed myself leaning towards a friend of mine that helped me threw it. We've been happy since.
2006-09-17 16:05:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow this sounds complicated...if he's using girls just for sex I'm thinking he's not the right guy for you. You obviously both have different wants and needs and sometimes being so different can pose a problem. Maybe get to know him better, but if he ever again wants you JUST for sex...I'd say just move on.
And hey, there's other guys out there, don't forget.
Be sure to keep your options open and best of luck,
-AL
2006-09-17 16:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by darksideofthemoon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why people don't live by the matra "to love is to live" and visa versa. It is better to experience love and heartbreak than to experience nothing at all. Tell him that you understand he was hurt, but it's time to move on and get over it. Tell him you really like him but want more than just sex, and if he's not willing to love and trust again, that you are worth more than that and will find someone else willing to have a relationship. I have a feeling he's just looking for a booty call.
2006-09-17 16:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you have a good head on your shoulders. Just remember this. Girls like a tender, pitiful guy, who they think needs her. He could be using this ex girlfriend, broken heart story to take advantage of your kind heart. Don't have sex with him, because you want to show him that you care and want to win his trust. Get to know him much better. I care or I wouldn't make the comments I have made. Just continue to play it smart, OK?
2006-09-17 16:06:27 · answer #6 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should definatley work on being friends FIRST. and if a relationship is to come out of this I think he should be the one to initiate because then it would show he trusts you completely, since he has problems with it. you really cant change some one but you could help them to see different sides to things. if its meant to be it will work out. just be patient.
2006-09-17 16:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by Romina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you like a lot of mess & confusion in your life forget this guy.
If he uses girls for sex he's not nice. What about that would make him nice?
When you met someone & they have so much stuff going on have enough respect for yourself to move away from them.
When it starts with drama....it's only going to be drama.
2006-09-17 16:02:24 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him that you really care about him and you wont break his heart. But if hes only after your body then dont go for him
2006-09-17 16:09:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwww...
Like he is the only person in the world who has ever been hurt.
He needs to grow up. You need to find someone more mature.
2006-09-17 16:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by Angela 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋