im an adopted child and im starting to have concelling(cant spell it!!) tomorrow i dont no wether or not to take my adoptive mum with me or go it alone-its for adoptive kids this couciling, should i take her with me or not?
2006-09-17 07:48:21 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
i would say go alone babe, that way you aren't being influenced or anything, go alone if you feel ok with that. that's what i would do, up to you. good luck.
2006-09-17 07:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by The Banshee 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say it depends on your relationship with your mom. What kind of counseling is it?
I think if you're on good terms with your mother, then it should be alright if she's there. If she's supportive, you can help each other out. If you're having trouble connecting with her, then perhaps you could be better off going alone. I think it depends on how your relationship is with her. Some adopted kids get along great with their families, others seem to have a bit more trouble...
Maybe you can even decide when you get there? Ask the counselor before the session begins to see what she/he thinks is appropriate.
Ultimately, though, it's all really up to you.
2006-09-17 15:05:18 · answer #2 · answered by can_u_still_feel_the_butterflies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since your asking you obviously are worried about her feelings. So you may want to ask her to drive you and pick you up. Also suggest that maybe the two of you can go out to lunch, dinner or to the mall afterwards to hang out. This way you let her know that you want to be spend time with her.
As for having her at therapy, well I'm not sure she would be allowed to join you. But having her around as much as you can (since you two are close) demonstrates for both of you that you appreciate and love her.
Remember no matter what you are going through or even who you meet down the road this is the mother that raised you, loved you, grounded you, punished you, provided you with clothes and food, who shared all the good and bad times with you.
It's also ok to have alone time to figure things out. I think you are on the right path. Keep going.
Good luck and blessed be.
2006-09-17 15:01:48 · answer #3 · answered by Impartial Inc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some counselors don't want parents/adoptive parents involved in their sessions. This is a decision you need to make. Be sure you are comfortable in the counseling session - this is most important. If you are not comfortable then you won't get much out of the session. Good luck. Counseling is very scary, but you can learn and grow if you want.
2006-09-17 16:11:33 · answer #4 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think depending on your age,which i assume you are younger rather than older,you should ask your adoptive mum to take or come along with you to the meeting place.
But i do think you need to go into the meeting yourself,and then you have your own space and time in there to deal with things your way.
Once you come out you have support there if you need it which is your mum.
no matter what happens you need to do what you want and think you should do. Take all the advice on board but it has to be what you want.
2006-09-17 15:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever you feel most comfortable with.
But if it were me, I'd go on my own to check it out first, then if I felt comfortable being that open with my adoptive mum, then bring her along in future.
The counselling is for you, at the end of the day. Not for anyone else. So do what you feel most comfortable with. But if you try both, then I guess you'll know :O)
2006-09-17 14:53:41 · answer #6 · answered by J P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's up to you really if you would feel comfortable talking about issues in front of her or if you would feel happier having her there then take her with you. If you don't think that would be the case then go alone. Or you could take her with you and let her wait outside for you while you talk to the counsellor that way she will feel a part of your life and you will have the chance to discuss things with your counsellor. Good luck
2006-09-17 14:52:46 · answer #7 · answered by missree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go with what you want.
If you do decide to go in alone you should still talk things over with your adoptive parents. If they are taking you to help you sort things out in your head, they obviously care a great deal about you.
Good luck, hope it works out for you.
2006-09-21 07:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by Heather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I too am a counsellor and I work with young people with substance misuse problems. I would say take your mum with you but see the counsellor on your own it is so much better. You will be surprised how talking to a complete stranger is really cathartic and he/she will be able to be objective with you and enable you to make the right call for you and no one else. All the very Best. Dirky
2006-09-17 15:00:19 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should first come to terms with your adoption first.you can show your adoptive mom that you want to include her in your life later on.i think this counselling will do you good only if you can open up and express to whom so ever there is to help you.in the presence of your parents you might be pressred to say the right thigns or doubtfull to say somehting thinking they might get hurt if you ask something.so right now the focus is you.i'd say go alone and all the best!
2006-09-17 14:59:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also adopted and my advice would be to do whatever makes YOU comfortable. This is for you and not for anyone else. Maybe you should go alone for the first session, keep your mom close by or in the lobby, and if you need or want her, she can join you.
2006-09-17 14:53:01 · answer #11 · answered by hd112596 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋