I am not certain I am opening up Pandora's Box here. Do you think this is a good idea or a bad idea? If I have children, I want them to know their bloodlines and family history.
2006-09-17 06:54:29 · 11 answers · asked by wife of Ali Pasha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have a right to know who your biological parents are. I am also adopted and i found my dad when i was much older. I wanted to see who he was. my mom died when i was 1, so i couldnt find her. You should always love the parents that raised you, but you just have to tell them, so that void in your life will be closed.They should understand, even though they may be upset about it.dont be surprised though if they turn out to be bad, or they reject you. this can happen and often does.
2006-09-17 06:59:35 · answer #1 · answered by avalon123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are many good reasons & very few bad reasons for locating your biological family. Beyond the reasons you gave, there could be health issues that may pop up in the future, that could be assisted only be being able to readily contact your original family.
Talk it over with your adoptive parents, (they may be able to provide some very valuable information as to where to start looking). Let them know that you aren't looking because of any shortcommings on their part, & assure them that you view THEM as your parents.
Try to keep an open mind, when looking for your biological family, it may not be exactly as you see on the TV & movies, where it's a happy ending for all with joyfull tears & hugs all around for everyone.
2006-09-17 07:07:16 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends, at present, on your age. If you're 18 or older, you should check it out.
Curiosity is one thing and it is a strong motivator, but, you need to know the medical "senarios" surrounding your biological make-up and that of any children you may have.
Realize that your "parents" committed to you and provide/provided for your physical needs. They deserve complete recognition of this fact, regardless of whether or not they have been "the greatest" with respect to the "emotional" aspects of your life.
Depending on your emotional relationship with them, you can either open up the subject with them, or not. Only you can make this decision because only you know the strengths, or lack of them, involved in your relationship with them.
If there is little or no way they would "understand", if you are not 18 or older, wait until you are, don't say a word, and do what you can to check it out on your own after 18. If you are 18 plus, I have no idea how to go about doing this and this is another "topic". Perhaps you might want to ask this question and, if so, you will need to post the state and county you are in if you are in the U.S.A. This way, others in your region may know what you need to do. The same may apply with respect to countries other than the U.S.
If you decide to open up to them because your emotional life with them is strong enough, you should be 18 years of age or older, and it must be clearly understood BY THEM...deep down inside them...that you have the greatest respect, admiration, and LOVE for them. They must know and feel, FROM YOU, that they are your parents, they will always be your parents, and you intend to continue the proper, established family relationship with them.
If you are under 18, begin NOW to build a stronger relationship with them, not only for the time you will need to approach them on this, but also for the sake of the fact that they are your parents and building stronger relationships is always beneficial.
In addition, should your parents be in favor of contact with your biological roots, they could well be of enormous help in locating your roots.
Realize at all times, should you locate your roots, no one is perfect. We all have our ups and downs, our "pluses and minuses", and your main goal is the "make-up" of your medical inclinations, although "discovering" who you may "look like", how many "root relatives" you have and who they are, are bonuses.
In most situations of adoption, the "root" relatives are "social" more than "familial" and you may either "accept roots" into your life, or not, depending on their "situations".
All the best to you.
2006-09-17 07:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by Seneca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very old
Good luck!
From a grandma-aged person
2006-09-17 07:25:29 · answer #4 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents have thought about this and prepared themselves for years. It may be a shock when you tell them at first, but they'll be okay.
It's all in the way you deliver it. If you tell your parents up front that you aren't looking to replace them... that they are your parents and you're only looking for who gave birth to you... and you're honest about why you want to... they can only have respect for that. You can also ask them what they are concerned about. Tell them your concerns.
Being open and honest through the entire process is key.
2006-09-17 07:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy, but I think it would be good to be honest to yourself as well as to your adoptive parents. If your family environment is one which encourages open sharing, and if you have close and trusting relationship with your adoptive parents, it would be easier.
You can share how you feel, really, and I am sure they will appreciate your sharing and would support you.
2006-09-17 07:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by chocolat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well theres really no nice way to say it but the best way 2 do it is to sit ur adoptive parnets that u want to look for ur real parnets to learn bout ur roots ur adoptive parnets will luv u no matter what!if u ever need someone 2 talk 2 email me!:>
2006-09-17 06:59:28 · answer #7 · answered by here to help 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you do have the right to go look for your biologicals.
and ya it could be a pandoras box,
2006-09-17 07:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by concrete water 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they say..the one who raised you has more right then who gave birth...so its all fine as long as u satisfy ur quest for answers to ur bloodline ...but never hurt the ones who gave all to raise u ...as for as wat u gotta tell to ur children well its the fact that u were raised in good care with all the love...which u will pass on ..
2006-09-17 07:11:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU have a right to know. BUT dont be hurt or shocked if you find out. THEY may even reject you. DONT feel hurt ok?
2006-09-17 06:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋