How do I escape living someone else's life?

Question

This is not my life. I don't deserve any of this. Dad drank himself to death 20 years ago. He owned a topless bar. My stepmother stole every penny that he left for me. I was raised by a single mom who in recent years has become really hard to get along with. We have no choice currently but to share a tiny 1 bedroom apt. We CONSTANTLY fight...BAD. She's a waitress. I never had the chance to go to college. All my friends did. Now they are married/cops/civil servants etc. I guess that stuff wasn't for me. I read ANY and ALL textbooks I can find in the dumpsters at NYU. I am obsessed with furthering my education. I've had 40 articles published. I'm 35 years old. I am stuck working back-breaking, blue-collar jobs and I have had at least 50 over the years. The people who are supposed to be my peers only talk about ****&beer. They read Maxim while I read Vanity Fair&Popular Science. I could step into ANY entry level publishing job with confidence but they won't see me without the Bachelors.

Answer 1

First of all, do not I repeat DO NOT give in to despair and the like. Bitterness, anger, frustration, etc. can be transformed and channeled to work FOR you. Self-pity, after licking the woulds, only spirals you downward.

So, while you're not throwing in the towel (soon all the waiting will be dead history to you, your 'life' will begin), check colleges, universities and social service agencies for resume workshops. For years, at-home moms have been coached on the language to use, the word choice, which expresses to a corporate personality the skills and characteristics (time management, resourcefulness, problem-solving, thinking on-your-feet, sound decision-making under pressure, etc) the mom may possess. Without already being engaged in your field of choice, you might not have the otherwise available knowledge of the ropes, the ones you'd know if given the opportunity. A workshop can help you conquer this obstacle (if this applies to you, as I suspect). Resume workshops are designed to address this situation, and there s/b free ones, or definately cheap (check your counties 'welfare' department, they want folks to become employed) available.

Is there any way you can take just one class in your field? It'd go on your resume and you can tell your interviewer, "I love this so much, until I get work in my field, I just have to feel like I have a 'finger in the pie'."

Hey, you can take it upon yourself to conduct an Informational Interview. You find a likely subject (contact a manager or supervisor, almost anybody, though) at a place you'd like to work. You say, "this is the field I'd like to work in, would you give me 10 minutes of your time to tell me what your job is like and how you got it?" If you approach people of responsibility, odds are strong you'll get a good response. Keep it up and the right person may recognize you and pull you in. The purpose of this is not just to explore the field but to create contacts. Ask reception the name of Spvsr/Mgr of a department, then write first with phone follow up to get the ten minutes.

I confer with a family counselor once a week. If you need moral support for your efforts, a friend in your corner to shore up your determination, an unbiased party who is there for you to bounce your ideas off of, anything like this, try a counselor (therapist). Even in a temporary capacity, this exercise can REALLY give you a lot (that happens when we are invested and connect with someone), helping you see your goal clearly along with renewed vigor for proceeding.

Very best wishes for your further success.

Remember also, use ANY door of opportunity to get your foot into. Once inside (extra, temp help, or file clerk, you hear?) promoting from the ranks of the staff will happen before recruiting from the outside. Also, when you're in, you're IN! It's all there for you, the ropes you'll need to learn, the dynamics of how who gets along with who, the whole kit 'n kaboodle.

Answer 2

What did response did your published articles generate. Have you applied to these publishers and what was their response? Your resume is building.

Try generating newsflashes on poll results taken throughout as many free local distributors as possible. You want your article to work a back end where they come to you to find out "more", would be one interesting approach. You may be able to introduce them to a reports page that offers them for a buck or so and ordered through pay pal account. Calculate their charge versus what you want to net from it.

Enroll on-line once you've built sufficient capital to further your educational needs. You may want to promote yourself as a consultant in the literary field or whatever you can maximize your strengths with as another example.

Answer 3

First, I would move out. Living with your mom sounds like it's bringing you down, and you need to keep a positive mental state if you're going to effect the big changes in your life you want and, yes, deserve.

Next, be persistent in pursuing your dream jobs. Look at it from the perspective of the publishers. They want someone with a degree and you don't have one. What can you offer to compensate for that? Well, how about offering to work part time for free to prove yourself, if in return they will hire you if you do a good job?

Just keep going, never give up, never let them get you down. "Illegitimis non carborundum!" (Google it if you don't know what it means.)

Answer 4

hey life's a b****h. Thats just the way it goes. I scored one of the top scores in my school on my ACT, was in all honors classes my freshman year, had top grades and last year i had to drop out cause life didnt go the way it was supposed to. I could have been a doctor or anything else i wanted to be, now i'm stuck workin bad hours for min. wage. Well thats just the way life goes, instead of complaining about it do something to change it. It's never to late to go to college. Save up some money or apply for government aid. Life is what you make it. The sooner you realize that the sooner things will get better. I've seen hell but I'm not giving up, I will go to college and I will have a better life.

Answer 5

Print out this information and take it to the dean/guidance office at NYU. They will help you get college credit for the knowledge you've gained on your own, and then, as an adult student, you can qualify for a job as an intern at a publishing house.

You've got a lot going for you--you live in the most intensive publishing town in the world, you picked a liberal, diverse and open-minded university to emulate, and you are still so, so young.

Good luck!

Answer 6

look, i'm sorry that you have to go through all this. you're right and you really don't deserve this. first of all, just move out if you don't get along with your mom. you're 35, stick with the jobs you have so you can afford your own place. or you can stay with your friends for a while. work as many jobs as you can to get more money. when you finally have enough, drop a few of them so you have time to go to school. check out any community colleges that are cheap. if you really want a better education, you need help. try asking to borrow money from close friends. as i said before, work as many jobs as you can handle so you can get enough money to afford a place for yourself and college tuition. i really wish you luck.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are a smart individual.
Is there a communtiy collage near you? Or a technical collage? These communtiy and technical collages offer a variety of courses that fit YOUR schedule, often getting you a degree in less time than a "normal" collage, and offer all types of fincial aid. In the mean time, keep applying to jobs in the line of work you are interested in. You never know, you may get lucky and find someone willing to give you a chance.

Answer 8

i feel for u , man... i can understand your frustations. my mother and i don't get along either (actually, she doe'n't like me) and i am tired of trying to be frieds w/ her...any way. i am proud of u for still trying, that''s the secret, don't give up...i believe that if u really want something, u can get it. it may take a few tries and even some time, but keep at it, i can tell u are a winner just by hanging in there. even if u don't get the job of your dreams, u are still special...
have u tried scholarships? what about going to a local news paper and trying to get started in the mail room or something.

Answer 9

It sounds to me that you would qualify for a Pell Grant for college. Most college's have testing out for some of the required classes in the field you are looking at. You have the desire, so just go in the admissions office and make it happen. You may also qualify for student housing. You can change your stars!!! Best of Luck!!!

Answer 10

i just want u to know that life is really hard n ur right n i know how u feel but if i were u id follow my heart n my mind n do whatever i see its right no mater what n how or where just do it n trust ur self n remember that nothing can stop u n its not too late for anything forget the past n start now again n keep on tryin cause this is what makes our life meaningfull good luck dear