...who seem all so sweet and wonderful to other people but are manipulative and controlling behind everyones back?? What if they lick authorities *** and u seem like the one with the problem?? what do u do in that situation to prove that u are really in the right?? How do deal with people like that when its ur word against theirs??
2006-09-17 05:39:24 · 12 answers · asked by lazydazy 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Play it by the book and do what you need to do to make life comfortable and pleasant until you're old enough to make your own decisions.
2006-09-17 05:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by Amy L 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
learning how to negotiate is a good start. the most important thing to have in a parent-child situation is that both the parents and the child can be open about everything and that they will be big enough to listen to whatever the other person has to say. if this is not present, it can do great damage to your relationship.
true story: when i was 18 i wasn't any good at communicating my feelings openly so i just assumed that my parents just wanted to manipulate me, so i ran away all the way to europe (my parents live in SE Asia). i just turned 21 and saw my parents again here in europe and discovered that i was wrong, so i'm going home next month. the good news is that our relationship has improved so much over their 4-wk visit and that i don't have to be scared of them sabotaging my plans anymore. the bad news is that three years had past and i could have achieved more if i had learnt to listen better to my parents and how to communicate to them about who i am and what i really want.
btw you don't have to prove that you are right, you just need to listen to your parents and let them know that it's OK for them to say whatever they have to say. when you do this, you gain the posture to say "look, i've listened to you carefully and understood what you really want to tell me; now please do the same for me and let me speak out what i have to say."
then when it's your turn to speak, ask that they don't interrupt you because this ruins your effort to communicate. if they do, just be gentle and say, "look, it only takes a few minutes for me to make my point--will you let me finish and try to acknowledge how i'm feeling? i don't take that long to finish and when i'm done, you'll have your turn to talk."
parents become manipulative and controlling when they feel that their kids don't listen and aren't teachable. you disarm them by listening and being cooperative. to get what you want, you do need to be assertive and completely honest, but you also need to be gentle because this will win your parents' heart.
take care!
2006-09-18 03:48:57 · answer #2 · answered by Mizz G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, your question, seemed strange..
1 take a multivitamin, with iron
2, take an oil pil - possibly omega 3's
3, eat plenty of green veg.
4. if my kid changed country to escape me, i might let them go, depends on why they left, what either party had done, to cause the trouble.. b more specific..
5. dealing with manipulative parents, buy yourself a dictaphone, maybe a webcam and mic, when they walk in hit record.. get them on record.. ask them for any rules they want to enforce, or anything like that in writing, inform said authorities, of your request.
its really difficult to answer.. cant tell if ure the parent or the child.. sorry.. give us all more info..
2006-09-17 06:56:37 · answer #3 · answered by yeah well 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry ti hear that. is that why u feeling depressed? u should tell em and run away frm home if they makinng life miserable. some ppl seem to be growing older on thier faces but childish in thier brains. parents are the chilkdren and children show em sense nowadays. its called aging i fink.sad but true. be faithful and keep ur hopes high. u will be a better person and grow up to be young, smart lady with hopefully with a husband who u will love and be happy with. ignore em, just fink they lil kids who are being childish. the more u ignore em, the better it will feel.dont waste breath on ppl who arnt worth it. use it on sum1 special to say i love u a million times is better. ppl will never change and will be stobborn. ur not so be happy with who u are. those ppl never change so donbt waste ur time. take care.
2006-09-17 10:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by allgiggles1984 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly provided that he acknowledges there's a concern and is keen to manage it i'd say to no longer write him off thoroughly. You bring up a sturdy factor with young ones and on an identical time because it would be mind-blowing to have faith they might come around for the grandkids, that isn't constantly the case. i be responsive to three grandparents that still attempt to undermine the mum and dad by making use of conversing undesirable approximately them in front of the babies. having mentioned that, i be responsive to three mum and dad that don't permit the babies see their grandparents. the two way that is no longer perfect for the babies. Are you on conversing words with them? perchance you're able to desire to compliment them on what a amazing son they raised and how they could be pleased with him and have confidence his judgment. Did your fiance ever say why they are this type? that would exhibit a answer or a minimum of the thank you to handle the region. You for sure love him in case you caught out their "assessments" (i will call their events that to be mind-blowing) and if he's no longer comprehensive with college you won't be having young ones at contemporary. additionally, everybody brings their own bags right into a dating that's whether you could manage all of it jointly and not permit it come between you that counts. seems such as you're stressful he would resent you if he loses his relatives, on an identical time as they are fearful of dropping him, and he sees you as his relatives and his "out." superb desires.
2016-10-01 01:51:03 · answer #5 · answered by bugenhagen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are having to cope with this. With people you can not stick up for yourself with, don't. Do whatever you can to keep everyone sweet. And try, as much as possible to do what you want to do. When you are old enough get a counsellor to go through it all and re-gain your self esteem.
2006-09-17 08:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbell34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could probably be answered if you gave a better example. When I young I might agree with you, but now that I'm a much older, I see that parents are normally right. You'll only see it when you grow up a bit.
2006-09-17 05:47:36 · answer #7 · answered by fluffyorangekat 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
find some proof of what you're saying... if there is none make one.... what impedes you of getting a recorder and register every word they say to you?... and after let everyone hear the recording, preferably in front of the parents.... so they will be so ashamed they won't have how to justify their actions
2006-09-17 05:52:58 · answer #8 · answered by Jean Pierre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a dictaphone and next time ur parents are having their antics record it then give it to social services. If not inform the mafia and get them to kill your parents for u
2006-09-17 07:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by xbrunettes_have_more_funx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.**********
RAISING YOURSELF IS NO EASY TASK.TRY TO REMAIN CALM AND COLLABORATE WITH SOMETHING/SOME BEING HIGHER THAN THEM.
I HATE TO SAY IT, MANIPULATE THOSE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE BACK....
SOMETIMES THE CHILDREN ARE THE TEACHERS AND THE PARENTS CHILDLIKE.
REMEMBER THIS FEELING WHEN YOU'RE BABIES ARE BORN UNTO YOUR EYES.
BEST WISHES.
******************************************
2006-09-17 05:51:35 · answer #10 · answered by Richard L 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋