With a recently turned 18 year old girl and a 21 going on 22 year old guy age difference wise?. My parents do not like this guy and have not even met him and refuse too saying he is too advanced for me and probably mature too. I have always done well in school and listen to my parents wishes. Also since they are paying for my college tuition i make every effort to respect them. This guy is sweet and just had a bad break up with a girlfriend that cheated and it started as me making him company as a friend but has moved too romace. He does drink a little and is in a band but is leaving when his contract is up to enroll in school full time. My parents say i am not seeing the problems that may occur?
2006-09-17 05:16:16 · 8 answers · asked by Jenny v 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
This is my first year of college and i also just got out of a bad relationship and we both agreed not to rush things.He goes to school part time i go to school full time. We also have really similar personality's.
2006-09-17 05:18:07 · update #1
parents wont let me do anything and are driving me mad with making me go to sleep at 9:30 weekends i cant leave the house.
2006-09-17 05:20:05 · update #2
I only had one boyfriend before this.
2006-09-17 05:39:03 · update #3
Hey may ask you to drink with him.
If he drinks often or in large amounts he may be an alcoholic or well on his way to being one.
If he wants/pushes you into having sex there's the whole pregnancy/std thing.
You may fall head over heals for him and get depressed, drop out of school, or even try to kill yourself if/when he dumps you.
He may encourage you to do things you shouldn't do (or, more likely, that your parents don't want you to do)
My personal advise on how to handle the situation would be:
A. Explain the situation to him. He deserves to know even if you just remain friend
B. Keep in mind that you're only 18. In 5 years your world will seem completely different. . . 5 years after that the same thing will happen. I'm only 30 so I'll let you know in a few years if I'm actually done 'growing up' yet.
C. For the most part parents are reasonable. Talk to them, try to see it from their point of view. They're just worried about your safety and your future. If you can understand their concerns, you can figure out how to alleviate them.
2006-09-17 05:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by perchinawhitewinesauce 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only thing I can see that could be a potential problem is that you cuold be the rebound girl. He just got out of a bad relationship and the way he treats you could be affected by this relationship.
Also you just turned 18 you really haven't lived in the world so you are still to a point naive. I think your parents are worried that he might make you do things that you wouldn't otherwise. Four years is not a big difference in the swing of things. But an 18 year old who hasn't really lived in the real world dating a 22 year old who has can create some problems but nothing serious.
I am 24 and my boyfriend is 32. We started dating when I was 21 going on 22 in about a couple months. He had just turned 30. But I was in college and been living on my own for two years at this point. This age thing is not a serious problem but it could be because of your lack of life experience. But if you are careful and make decisions for yourself I don't see why this relationship can't work out.
2006-09-17 12:29:22 · answer #2 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are 18 and he is only 21 the age difference is not likely enough to cause problems (remember that males mature more slowly than females). Your parents probably are just having a hard time dealing with the concept that you are "setting yourself up to get hurt" again. So it wouldnt matter if the boy were 18 or 35... they know you were hurt before and no parent likes to see their child in pain... give yourself alot of time to see how things will work with you 2, dont jump into the seriousness of it. After your parents see you being cautious and have had time to realize he isnt just out to hurt you they will likely be more willing meet and accept him. They are just trying to keep protecting you, they love you.
2006-09-17 12:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look youre 18. If you're so concerned with the parental units, and your bedtime, leave.There are plenty of programs for people that dont have mommy and daddy to pay for college. The problems your parents are talking about with the boyfriend? Easy to see once removed. They see him as a "rocknroller", someone who might not go to college still once the contract is up, someone that probably drinks like a fish and wont be able to provide for their little girl. Dont stress, there's better out there.
2006-09-21 09:59:58 · answer #4 · answered by Flamingpoptart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take it this way your parents are your only best friends no matter how old you are, And your parents know you then your other friends, Soo i think that they are telling you to stay away from this guy for your own good, They dont want to see you hurt and the guy drinks, If you really do like this guy, then compromise with your parents, reaaasure them that nothing will happen to you if you are soo sure Beleive me i should of listened to my mother years ago she told me not to marry that man, Well 10 years later , We got a divorce, I should of listened to my mother, I wish i could tell her now, As she is laid to rest, But my point is cool down calm down and listen.
2006-09-17 12:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by trudycaulfield 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with your parents and talk to them and make them at least meet him they might change their minds about him, i;m 22 and my husband is 26 and my dad loves him sometimes more then i do (haha) talk with your parents and let them know how you fell about this guy and tell them if they don't let you see him the right way you will sneak around to see him but you don't want to do that so they need to cut you some slack good luck
2006-09-20 13:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by poohbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit down with your parents in a calm rational manner and have them tell you their fears about this guy, you and your future
TRUST ME: listen to them.. they can see what your love blindness cannot or will not
parents told me the truth about both now "ex's"
and I didnt listen
friends, family see the real , not rosy truth
2006-09-17 12:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, just have to observe his behaviour as you date him. don't hurt yourself.
2006-09-17 12:19:56 · answer #8 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋