Some people say when your dating, you should wait a while to have sex with that person. But why?
Let's say you met someone and you waited months down the road to have sex with them. You start having feelings and emotions for that person and you start caring for them deeply. Then you have sex with them and they never call you again. You would feel absolutely horrible because your heart is broken and you really cared about that person when utlimately, they were just trying to get you in bed and they met their goal.
But lets say you have sex with them right away and they never call you again. At least you didn't get emotionally attached and it would be easier to move on without the heartache and pain.
So why do people tell you to wait to have sex with someone? You never know peoples intentions and they may end up getting you in bed and never calling you again either way?
2006-09-17 03:36:53 · 17 answers · asked by chocolatebabycakes 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't jump to conclusions...I'm not saying that I give it up early, I do wait to have sex. I'm just asking because I see it happen to people I know a lot.
2006-09-17 03:42:27 · update #1
Sex should be taken much more seriously than it is these days. I cant imagine someone spending months and months with you without sex and once it happens, you never hear from them again. That just usually does not happen. As women, our bodies and what we do with them is our own private business, to have sex freely, means you have no self respect for yourself. Teen pregnancy is ridiculously out of control as young women feel their only self worth is "giving in" to men to make themselves feel special or wanted. There are hundreds of ways a guy can show he cares about you without sex. I work in an OB/GYN office and 14 year olds coming in there pregnant, or a 17 year old having her 3rd child makes me crazy! All because they gave in too easily thinking they will "keep" a guy. Absurd! Anyway, self respect for yourself should be the main focus. If a guy moves on just because you wont have sex with him, SO WHAT, he's not worth it anyway! Let him be someone elses mistake.
2006-09-17 03:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by Kit Kat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have sex with someone right off and it ends after that because the other person, who may have wanted to get to know you but was turned off because you were so easy, does not want 'easy' as a long term investment. Same for you, if before during or after doing 'it' you wish you had stuck around and got to know him.
If you wait and get to know the person then you both have done the work to establish a solid relationship that will endure. If one of you decides to end it then you move on, knowing you did not do something you most likely would regret. Sex stops the good sense markers from working.
People tell us to wait because that guarantees that if the relationship builds because of mutual respect, the chances that a marriage will endure are greatly enhanced.
It all depends, do you want a life with a loving soulmate or a bunch of meaningless one-night stands that lead to nothing but long term aging.?
Remember, once one has had sex it is over and as if you never had it. When you connect on deep levels of human interaction, the good feelings last a lifetime. We all want the latter but, being all too human, we usually settle for the former.
Trust your belief in your worth as a human being.
Additional: Just read Kit Kat's answer above. I like that answer a lot!
2006-09-17 10:53:08 · answer #2 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole idea behind waiting (religious and moral reasons aside, anyway) is for you and the other person to get to know each with your hearts and your minds before you form a bond that's only based on lust (or a desire to escape being alone).
Anyway, if you're finding you're spending months getting to know a guy, only to have him use you and discard you, then the real issue is that you need to become a better judge of character. Guys who are just players give plenty of signs of it, if you pay attention. If you don't give them what they want, they'll get bored and move on. A guy who cares about you will stick around and value you as a friend before he ever gets a chance to be in bed with you.
2006-09-17 11:01:34 · answer #3 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Less likely that someone is going to date you for a year with just the goal of having sex with you. He/she could just go to a bar and have a one night stand if that is all they were interested in. The longer you wait the better the chances that the other person really cares about you. Good Luck ! :)
2006-09-17 10:40:44 · answer #4 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are always a gamble. But usually (and I know cuz I used to be this way) a guy just interested in sex wont stick around for it for more than a couple of weeks. If he is good for you, he will give of his time and will be courteous to you and your friends and parents. If he just shows up at ur place occasionally or never calls, he's not interested. Don't waste your time on a guy that doesn't really listen or ask you about you.
2006-09-17 10:44:42 · answer #5 · answered by obilesk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys say that they don't care but to a certain extent they will see you differently f you give it up too soon. It makes them think that you are a booty call and you give your stuff up to every guy you go on a date with. Make the guy earn it, I am not saying he has to pay for it but he should be trying to wine and dine you and romance you out of your panties. It seems that when he does that he feels that he put in so much effort to get it that he is definitely going to call back because he worked so hard to win the prize and he can actually appreciate the prize for what it is worth.
2006-09-17 10:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by Almond_Joy82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lot of hit-it-and-quit-it action?
You wait cause you wanna know if the guy is into you just for sex. Women who give it up too easily get reputations and attract the wrong guys and repel guys that might be good to them. You become know as a hoe, and guys only want to date you cause you spread like butter. It also comes accros as you don't respect your body enough to make someone wiat to enjoy the pleasure that is your body.
2006-09-17 10:42:53 · answer #7 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't ruin your self dignity to just sleep around with people before you know them, then go for it. Generally people wait for that reason, they don't want to feel like a low life just out for sex.
2006-09-17 10:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Waiting to have sex with someone is just really, really stupid.
There is just no point in it..if I like the girl, I will call her again, even if she gave it up on the first date.
2006-09-17 10:38:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a morality issue. The general perception is that if you give it up to early you are being trashy or cheap.
I agree with you in that if the chemistry is right then go for it.
2006-09-17 10:40:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋