My mom and I are having SERIOUS issues.One of the main things we fight a/b is her deciding that I HAVE to break up with my boyfriend. We've been together for 14 months and we are very much in love. He had a suicide attempt in July becuase he was very depressed and stressed out over family and money issues. It was a very scary time but he has been seeing a doctor and got on some meds. to help him. He has also had some problems in the past being disrespectfu w mom (i.e hanging up the phone on her and saying bad words in our house, rolling his eyes) but recently he wrote her a nice letter a/b how sorry he was and that a girl like me didn't deserve that and that he would change. My mom also doesn't like his mother very much, but I think that if he is willing to appologize he should be given a second chance. This isnt about his mother. Now, my mom is saying that she and I will go to a Dr. and he will get to decide if Im allowed to still be with him or not. What do you think he'll say
2006-09-17 03:34:50 · 6 answers · asked by jeffsgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm 17 and the reason she's letting this psychologist decide is because she doesn't think it's 'safe' for me to be around him. The only thing that's ever happened was his suicide thing and now he is getting treatment and he WAS disrespectful but he appologized, she just wants the doctor to say it's safe....does it sound 'safe' for me to be around him to you?
2006-09-17 03:44:33 · update #1
I can't really give you an answer without knowing your age.
However, I do think that your mom is being fair and she is setting you up with a therapist to discuss this.
More than likely, it is not the therapist who will be expected to come up with the answer, though. The whole point is for you and your mom to air your perspectives on this issue and then come to some sort of compromise.
2006-09-17 03:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother has been around considerably longer than you and has had considerably more experience than you, I doubt that what she has to say is completely off base.
As a suicide counselor I agree with her. Your boyfriend is not in a place where he can even take care of himself much less a relationship. YOU are a crutch not a partner. He needs to learn how to deal with lifes problems on his own without the distraction of a relationship.
I understand that there is a certain "nobility" in standing by him and taking care of him, but he has to learn to do it by himself without resorting to drama, which I am guessing is what a lot of his life is about. That is the only way he can become a man and thus a husband and a father.
You should listen to your mother now because I can almost guarantee you that in a few years you are going to wish you had. You should think with your head and not your heart, your heart does not have a brain.
2006-09-17 10:47:19 · answer #2 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mom just loves yuou like she should.Its very hard being a parent.She only wants what is best for you.Try not forcing this guy down her throat.Give her time and give him time to both show what the future holds.Its up to your boyfriend to show her that he will change.Anyone can write a letter,its going to take actins for her to change her mind.Im sure it did not get this way overnight and it wont get fixed overnight.As for what the Dr. says hopefully he just tells you guys the truth.Neither of you are going to come home happy at this point.Just stay positive and work hard on your relationship with both your mother and boyfriend and the best will happen.Just remember sometimes what best is not always makes you happy at the moment.
2006-09-17 10:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by porkchophaynes0206 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the psychologist's place to decide anything. He will most likely listen to both sides of the story, ask you both to explain how you feel about everything, and then help you see each other's point of view. maybe he will help you discuss the situation together calmly without fighting and maybe help you two come to some sort of agreement.
2006-09-17 10:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by Delius80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it does and on more thing you are 17 you can do whatever you want w/out her permission. I was married at your age, so even if the doctor says something you don't want to hear don't worry cause you are allready an adult.
2006-09-17 10:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by Ice Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you doing, letting your mom dictate who you date? Tell her that you respect her opinion, but that who you date is YOUR decision.
2006-09-17 10:38:15 · answer #6 · answered by libbyocto14 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋