I have only two daughters, each one has two young children. About a month ago a huge argument occured and now they are not talking. My oldest daughter wants to try and make amends but my youngest daughter refuses. My grandchildren are the ones who are mostly affected by this and it breaks my heart. Until this is resolved there can be no family get togethers, thanksgiving, christmas and we have the majority of all their birthdays coming up soon. I don't know what to do. Can someone with some psychology background pleaseeeee help me. My heart breaks more each day.
2006-09-17 03:26:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You don't need a shrink, but you do need advice from a mom of adult daughters.
Number one, stay out of it. Do NOT let them get you involved. Its their fight, they are adults and they are responsible for the consequences of their actions. Repeat that 10 times.
Number two. Go on with life as usual. Do NOT cancel holidays, family gatherings and birthdays because they are fighting. Invite as usual, expect them to show up and keep their argument at home. They are adults, if they choose to not participate, then tell them "I'm sorry you won't be here, we'll miss you." and then have your holiday or get together. Do NOT waiver from this practice.
Grown daughters are no different than when they were younger, they fight over stupid stuff and then try to pull you in the middle and it escalates from there. Don't get involved and let them pay for their stubborness. Life is too short for this nonsense. My sister actually called me recently and asked if I was going to a cousins daughters baby shower (I wasn't because I wasn't invited), and she said that she wasn't going because this cousin didn't make it to her baby shower, 27 years ago.
I have a daughter, who is the Queen of trying to get mom involved. My life greatly improved when I learned to tell her to talk to her sister, I wasn't going to get involved. They also have learned to resolve their own issues.
Good luck and be strong.
2006-09-17 03:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have three daughters and it seems that at least one will be upset with the other at times It is difficult to keep everyone in peace and harmony all the time with prayers God can help to get them to resolve their issues and in time all will be OK again Anger doesn't last forever, because you sound like a very well bonded family and I fell certain they will get the problem resolved soon. I know of your pain through This type of situation I think as the mother your hurt is even greater than your grandchildren. Don't give up your hope for peace to be once again. Good luck.
2006-09-17 04:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by Carolyn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's something they are gonna have to work out on their own. I have sisters so I know all about the sister thing. but I would suggest maybe having them come over at the same time. The oldest one is ready to try to work to it out right? ask the younger one to come over first and then the oldest, and just sit down and have a talk with them. I hope I could help. Anything is worth a try right?
2006-09-17 03:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by stormykathrynserenity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are they 1 year ?
2006-09-17 03:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't have a psychology background but i'll try to help any way, find out y they argued and fix it, it won't complete fix the problem but it's a start, let your daughter see how much it pains everyone to see her anger
2006-09-17 03:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by truemexican 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋