drugs since he's been around 14. Not just w/ pot that would have been an easy problem. Its been w/ everything form oxycotton to heroin to sniffing glue. We have had him in alot of different programs. conseling, detox centers, rehabs. He moved away down south about a year ago. Called me up said he was seeing a guy but he's not gay. I told him know matter what were behind him. I got off the phone dumbfounded. What the heck dose that mean is he just experimenting? or just dose not want admit it? or is it just an excuse for being unmoral if your gay your gay and thats understandable I understand your born that way but to me being by-sexual is just a excuse to be able to do what you want when you want w/ who ever. My husband said maybe thats whats been wrong w/ him why he has been trying to self medicate because he did'nt know how to face his emotions. How ever is he still not facing his emotions or is it just an excuse?
2006-09-17 03:09:33 · 15 answers · asked by teajra 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow, there are some wild answers in here. I apologize if any of them insulted your genuine concern for your son. I would like to say that he does not have a problem (as far as this is concerned.) I appreciate the fact that you care enough to question his situation and he loves you enough to let you know...at least some of it. He may or may not be a homosexual...most parents know. Garden variety bisexuals are able to find attraction in both sexes, either way - love is love. I am interested in knowing if this man is a good influence on him - does he sound happy when he calls home? Do you think he has eased off the drugs? DO NOT LET YOUR SON BE A STATISTIC and don't butt out of his life as someone suggested earlier. You stay right on track, educate yourself on the subject, email other parents of gay or bi youth, there is a myriad of outlets that will help you get the answers you need.
I am very interested in hearing more about this situation and i'll be glad to assist you in any way. Please keep in mind that your son loves you and does not want to jeopardize that love...make sure he know you love him no matter what - you'll be glad you did and possibly sorry if you don't.
Kind Regads,
CB
2006-09-17 14:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE'S PLAYING WITH THE IDEA THAT MAYBE HE IS GAY.
I think its great that he has told you he is seeing a guy. Some people fall inlove for the person inside and it wouldnt matter to them if that person is a guy or a girl so thay dont consider themselves actually gay, but more of a person inlove with another person who happens to be the same sex as themself. Also if he is feels he needs drugs then being with a gay guy is an easy way to get drugs, alot of drugs and probly for free, I have a cousin in the gay scene and Ive been around her social circle a few times and there is soooo much drug use and drugs are very easy to get and its like asking around for a peice of gum, its very socialy accepted. Not every gay person uses drugs! My cousin doesnt and not all her gay friends do, but I tell you, its a different life out there in gay clubs! You see things you wouldnt usually see, some of it entertaining, some of it makes you cringe but in any case if he's using drugs then he isnt making long term choices but just focasing on the here and now. Your doing the right thing by being supportive. And I dont believe that all gay people are born gay, I think some people choose it as a life style because gay people are generally less judgmental of people who are labled 'different' by society.
2006-09-17 03:39:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes indeed your husband is right, your son is covering up and not being able to say " MOM I'm GAY " so taking drugs usually drinking or pills are the way most people in emotional pain feel " protected " Everyone by the age of five know their sexual orientation, and if he has brothers, he will feel less than a man himself, heterosexual men sometimes can be judgmental. But if he has siblings, he needs to her what you said, I will stand behind you, Your an excellent Mama, and I'm sure he felt comfort in hearing that sentence from you.I hope he finds peace with himself soon, because emotion pain is worst then physical pain.
2006-09-17 03:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by DONNA'S NIGHTMARE COME TRUE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband nailed it right on the head. Your son has been struggling with this situation for years and still hasn't come to terms with it.
I would simply be supportive, and not demand that he call himself gay until he is ready. I would suggest that you encourage him to go into counseling with a glbt friendly counselor. With his history, he's at risk.
And you and your husband need to get involved with PFlag, an organization for parents and friends of glbt family members. I think you will come to see that you are wrong about gays simply using that as an excuse. Your son is extremely tortured, do you really think he would use being gay as an excuse to do anything he wants? He's already done that while denying being gay.
Good luck to you, you have been through a lot, and hopefully now he is on the road to peace.
2006-09-17 03:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is gay, maybe he is still having trouble coming to terms with it and is still not sure how to tell you. Maybe he said that to see how you would react. And if he got a supportive response maybe he will find a way to be comfortable telling you the truth. Maybe when he said he was "seeing a guy" he meant he is seeing a therapist or something and you took it the wrong way. Whatever the case, just be supportive and let him know you love him and want him to be happy.
2006-09-17 03:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by Delius80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is finally admitting he is gay and just don't know how too tell you and yes trying too deal with being gay and how society treats you will certainly take its toll on you the drugs probably helped him deal with his feelings , now what he needs more thanything else is your and his fathers support and understanding, best luck too all of you .
2006-09-17 03:19:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is all possible. This may be an experiement, this may be a way of avoiding a real relationship too.
Only time will tell.
For now, he must do what he is going to do. If it is just a phase, it will come to pass.
2006-09-17 03:12:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so judgmental. Just tell your son you are glad he called and hope he is safe there no matter what he is doing.
2006-09-17 03:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by Roger S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is seeing a guy he is gay. Tell him just because he closes his eyes dosen"t mean it never happened.
2006-09-17 03:12:23 · answer #9 · answered by Jonathan I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has major issues, and really needs counseling.
Needs to bring them out in the open.
2006-09-17 03:12:10 · answer #10 · answered by annastasia1955ca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋